On Christmas day, I overheard my boyfriend’s mother ask him which ring his ex-girlfriend would like best, as she laid out a selection of fine jewelry.
He was clearly perturbed by the question. But I found myself smiling.
The Guardian Angel
Five years before we would meet, my boyfriend was comatose in the ICU. His vitals were flat as he fought for his life. He had been running a fever for days and his then-girlfriend returned home on her lunch break to find him unconscious.
If it weren’t for Her, my boyfriend would not be alive.
I was brought up Catholic and, while I no longer practice, I still catch myself praying a Hail Mary anytime an ambulance passes. Every few days, I find myself thanking a God I’m not sure exists for Her–the guardian angel that saved my soulmate’s life.
The Back Roads
Early in our relationship, while driving down a country road, I scoffed and scowled when the scent of skunk wafted through the air vents. Staring forward blankly, my boyfriend replied, “I kind of like the smell.” Not understanding, I pushed for an explanation.
The first thing he had noticed when he regained consciousness five years earlier had been the noxious aroma of skunk.
The olfactoral assault of an old tire coated in sulfur, filled with rotten eggs, and then set on fire was his souvenir from the other side. The pungent odor is his reminder that, against all odds, he survived.
The Sage Little Fellow In Black and White
In our nine years together, we have followed the trail of many a skunk. With each occurrence, the foul scent serves as a potent reminder of my good fortune. The man sitting next to me is alive. He is here, thanks to the actions of his then-girlfriend and hospital staff.
Then, when he regained consciousness, he found that a little fellow wearing black and white had sent his best wishes. My boyfriend has carried that calling card in his chest pocket for all these years.
Bad luck is nothing more than a timely reminder that there is no such thing.
The Lesson
Life is full of unpleasantries. Skunks, ex-girlfriends, holey socks, flight delays, chronic illness, and more. But the other side of the coin is this: every inconvenience offers an invitation to view the situation through a new lens. When I find anything about my experience to be disagreeable, I take it as reminder to appreciate merely being alive. I try to find a reason to laugh.
How many people are lucky enough to experience helping their long-time boyfriend select a diamond ring for his ex-girlfriend while laughing about the hilarity and sincerity of his mother’s awkward and fifteen-years-belated thank you gift? The event was one-of-a-kind!
Whenever those storm clouds show up, get into the habit of immediately flipping them inside out to examine the silver lining. There is often more to each situation than meets the eye. When you begin picking apart life’s unpleasantries, you may discover that all those terrible things aren’t so bad after all.
You can find more from me on my personal blog: https://existentialergonomics.com/
The Heart of the Matter 
Thank you. I cannot fully articulate how much I needed to read this today.
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Maggie, I’m so glad to hear the message found you at the right time. 💕
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Wow! Talk about making lemonade! What a poignant description of the gift we are given to extract diamonds buried deep within the earth. Thanks for the reminder that we always have a choice about what we think, and that from our thoughts we can create diamonds and lemonade
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Julia, I just love your incorporation of the analogies to minimizing diamonds and making lemonade. Those hadn’t crossed my mind when writing this, but it’s the same concept of transforming filth and sourness into something not only tolerable, but desirable. Our thoughts truly have more power than we often realize. 💕
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Truly, truly they do! If only more people realized that, wouldn’t the world be so much a better place for them, and for us?
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What a powerful message, indeed, and one that’s hard to practice during the “diamond mining.” It reminds me of Viktor Frankl’s “Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”
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What a BEAUTIFUL post, Erin! It’s one that’s filled with imagery, but most of all, I love that you’ve combined transparency with hope. And I positively “heart” this line, in particular, “Whenever those storm clouds show up, get into the habit of immediately flipping them inside out to examine the silver lining.”
I need to get better with the immediate thing; sometimes it takes me a while. Just a lovely post, with lots to think about. Thank you! ❤️
P. S. How interesting about the skunk smell! And… you had me on pins and needles, wanting to find out what your mother in law was doing with the ring! 😃
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My boyfriend has often said that if he had the option to go back in time and push a button to prevent the brain injury, he wouldn’t change a thing. It’s taken me years to understand that the catastrophic event did not “ruin” his life, but instead sent him down a different path–a path that was short-term unappealing, but long-term beneficial. He has taught me so much about re-framing and patience. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Kendra! ❤️
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This made me tear up! You have a keeper (and he has one with you)!
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Yes, he is the greatest gift in my life. I feel so fortunate, everyday. ❤️❤️
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Erin…thank you for this: …”every inconvenience offers an invitation to view the situation through a new lens.” Just as Maggie said…a message I needed to hear this morning, too. Hugs and thanks to you, friend! 💕
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Vicki, I’m so pleased to hear it resonated for you. Hugs to you too, dear friend! 💕
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🥰😊🥰
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Funny – I should have read this one before I posted my comment. Exactly!
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😘
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I love your beautiful written statement that every inconvenience offers us the opportunity to see through a new lens. What a great story – I find myself grateful for the ex-girlfriend as well – but only because you are so generous, Erin. And only because you’ve taken the opportunity to see through new lenses so we can too!
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Aww, thank you, Wynne! Big hugs to you! 🥰
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“How many people are lucky enough to experience helping their long-time boyfriend select a diamond ring for his ex-girlfriend while laughing about the hilarity and sincerity of his mother’s awkward and fifteen-years-belated thank you gift?” What a great line. I love the appreciation for life. Love too read too how your boyfriend wouldn’t change a thing. Beautiful, life-affirming post! 😉😉😉😉
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Thank you, Brian! I figured that topic of near-death could get heavy, and that the story about the ring selection felt like a good counterbalance. I love to hear that it came across as life-affirming!💕
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Oh yes, definitely life affirming! What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger! Ha, ha!
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This really is a beautiful story ❤️
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Thank you for the kind words, my dear! ❤️
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I may never think of the skunk smell the same again! Well told!
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