Just Love

Posted on by Victoria

It wasn’t what she hoped for, years ago as a talented young woman.  The world WAS her oyster (what an odd expression, eh?) and while limitless possibilities lay before her, her greatest longing of all was for motherhood.  Dirty diapers and all.

Life had other plans.  Her oyster bobbed in a sea of seemingly random, yet progressively positive events.  It carried her around the world as she gained renown and high regard.  The little girl who loved her dolls the most?  Any onlooker would say she was living ‘the good life’.  Single, untethered, and ready to mingle.

For years she thought the traditional route of marriage-to-motherhood was the best path.  So, she tried.  Very hard.  Valiantly dedicating herself to the cause, her goal, almost at the expense of losing herself. 

When one relationship ended, and then another, she comforted herself with luxuries, including a new home. Convinced her value as a person was wrapped up in her possessions, she leaned into that identity.  Rich lady.  Rich lady in an enclave nestled in the mountains.  Secure like a fortress. 

Her professional life continued to expand but as she nabbed a succession of shiny gold rings, she did so without joy.  Material wealth served her, in a way.  Objects became distractions, decoys, and detours. Achievements and accolades arrived with revelry, but they were cold comfort.  Status and accomplishments?  Troublesome for the girl who longed to nurture.  Who longer FOR nurture.

She tried other avenues to parenthood…all those that require the intense blend of miracles, medicine, and magic and after three years of disappointment, she closed that chapter of her life. By then, she felt time had ticked down.  Her knees ached when she carved out time to ski.  Her vision wasn’t as sharp.  Nieces and nephews adored her for the trips and travel and lavishness of her life.  But she was wise to her own ruse.  Her cravings for closeness were cloaked in generosity.  No one suspected how lonely she was.

When calls came…again…tempting she and her trusted advisors with a buyout, she balked, thinking, “I can’t lose that identity, too”.  Endless conference calls and negotiations brought new people into her life.  Souls she was destined to meet?  Among them, a man…a widower…with two small children and a heart tighter than a bank vault. 

Despite an inherent steely exterior, he was kind, demonstrated in nearly imperceptible ways.  A pulled-out chair, remembering she likes two Splenda packets in her coffee. Being in his presence gave her peace but she was dubious.  At first, she found him disarming, just another actor trying to manipulate and persuade.  Over time she learned his veneer and substance were the same.  He’d had loss…and carried heaps of anguish as he parented his small ones.  Not the path he expected but he was determined and dedicated.  No room for love.  Scarcely room for friendship.

Time and depth can lead to trust and that’s where they are now.  When they met, she worried he was another adversary wrapped in charm but now she knows differently.  He’s becoming her ally as she navigates business decisions. And the children?  Perhaps they are her path to motherhood.  Not what she had in mind, but she is hopeful.  For now, they are together and while she’s terrified, she’s also the happiest I’ve ever seen her.  Do I worry?  Of course.  But no color commentary from me.  Just love. And thoughts from Joseph Campbell:

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

 -Joseph Campbell

Vicki ❤

43 thoughts on “Just Love”

    1. Okay. You are not playing fair, Dr. Stein. 😊 Writing this post was hard, prompting tears because I ache for my friend, and then your comment? You’ve added to the moisture by offering a compliment to cherish. Thank you for receiving me…and the story. I am the one who’s truly touched. 💖💖💖

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  2. I must echo Dr. Stein’s sentiments. Just, WOW! As humans, we are so skilled at making plans, some of which aren’t meant to be. It’s another skill entirely to be able to let go of those dreams and make space for possibility, and it seems like your friend is doing just that. Beautiful! Wishing all the best for your friend, her budding romance and, perhaps, her alternate path to motherhood. ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Erin….love you for all of that. I’m glad it connected…and you’re right. The letting go in order to see things anew? So easy to talk about…much harder to navigate. xo and big smiles, my friend! 🥰

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    2. Your fantastic story carried me through a whole spectrum of emotions from hope and anticipation to sadness and melancholy, and miraculously, back to hope again. I paused for a few minutes after reading it, trying to digest it all, and then, when I saw Julia’s comment, I must agree: she’s mighty blessed to have you as a friend!

      I love the quote, which I have not heard before. I did hear of a complementary one I think you might like as well, “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it” from Jean de La Fontaine.

      Thank you for this post, Vicki!

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      1. EW! A quote that was new to you? OMG! You are my hero when it comes to “just right” quotes. 🙂Thank you so much for reading and for your generous, sweet comment…and the quote from La Fontaine? Wow! You are a marvel. Xo! ❤️

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  6. Wow, Vicki! What a beautiful, hopeful and insightful post and story. You describe the armor that we build up so well – and also the reason we know that it must go in order to be truly happy. Amazing! Wishing your friend the best on her journey. And I’m so grateful to you for your talent, wisdom, and the friend you are to me and so many others!

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    1. Oh, goodness, Wynne. Thank you. I give what I can because I’ve received…so many kindnesses…so much wisdom…when I’ve needed it. Appreciate you, my friend, for all that you do for so many of us. xo! 🥰😉🥰

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  7. A beautiful story told beautifully. Thank you for giving us this reason to read. And the Campbell quote! Wow, is that me? Or perhaps it should have been. Much wisdom and power in those few words.

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    1. Hello, Michael! Oh…you’re so kind. Thank you for reading and for the thoughtful feedback. Yep…I think that particular Campbell quote’s been “me” a time or two. It’s one that really sticks with me. Big smiles to you today, my friend! 😉

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  8. Okay, where to start. First the technical stuff, I love how you told this story. I assume you wanted to keep her privacy, but still had things you wanted to say. I love how you managed to walk that fine line, so well done. And then onto the story and the message, just wow. I don’t know much about Campbell, but love the quote: “We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Such an important message. When we think we know the direction we want to go, we’re often times stubborn to new opportunities. We miss them when they’re standing right in front of us. The letting go is so hard, but I know when I’ve let go, it’s been the best thing for me. Your friend is lucky to have you. A beautiful post Vicki. Love it.

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    1. Yes, yes. Keeping her confidence was/is important. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met…such a special being…and her story is BIG…but it’s hers. Thanks for catching the delicacy of all of that, Brian. You’re so perceptive…about that aspect and the hardship that ‘letting go’ appears to be…but recognizing that relief and new opportunities might be, as you said, right in front of us. Just waiting to be seen. Thank you so much for reading, your comments and your friendship! 😊😘😊

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    2. Brian, if you’re intrigued by Joseph Campbell, I would highly recommend the 1988 PBS documentary series Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth with Bill Moyers (which appears to be on YouTube). A brilliant English professor had us watch an episode… it’s been 15+ years and I remember so many gems. There is also a book/transcription, which could be a great audio book to check out. 😉

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  9. Being open to change and choosing to let go of plans that aren’t working can be overwhelming but so satisfying when you step into that journey of the unknown. Lovely and thoughtful story about your friend Vicki, thank you!

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    1. Thank you for that, Deb. You raise an important point — courage that’s required but often in short supply. Yes, yes. Being open AND taking action are two separate steps with lots of twists and turns. Hugs and smiles! 🥰

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  12. Vicki, what a beautiful sharing of your friend’s story. Its so difficult when we’re not able to live the life we’ve expected. When things don’t turn out the way we expect and we need to carry out U-Turns or even take a totally different road. Your friend shows amazing resilience to adapt to the realities of life and to keep going.
    Accepting things as they are rather than what we’d like them to be takes so much courage. To redefine your life, and be willing to take chances is a remarkable thing to do – not something everyone has the insight to do. I have a lot of respect and admiration for your friend. I’m sure you are very proud of her and will be cheering her on, at her side.
    Thanks for sharing, Vicki

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    1. I think you nailed it, Brenda – about the courage it takes. Sometimes we can see the U-turns (I love that you used that imagery) but we can’t quite make the move. Such a terrific observation. I know I’ve had more than a few good people at my side giving me encouragement when I needed it…leaving me be when I needed time. Thank you so much for reading and for your inspired comments, my friend! 😉😘😉

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  13. Followed you over from your ‘Fearlessly in Love’ post, Vicki 🙂 So glad I did! That quote seems to come up for me with regularity: it’s a challenging thing; letting go and trusting life to guide us. Sometimes the most beautiful things happen when we stop looking, or having any expectations…🙏 Thank you this; for both your posts this morning. I savoured every word 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much, Patti! For reading in two places — I’m a tyrant, aren’t I? 😉 Truly – thank you for your kind feedback. I love that the Campbell quote has popped up for you before. You are right — such a challenge to let go and trust in what lies ahead. You’ve paid me the highest compliment by reading and sharing that…and then the idea that any of it was worth savoring? Oh. Feeling good all over, thanks to you! xo and big hugs! 🥰🥰🥰

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  15. Hi Vicki, this is such a powerful piece. I’ve gone back and read it several times. It’s beautifully written! The longing, the loneliness, the breaking heart(s). The hope! You’ve captured it all, and we all can relate to these aspects on some level. I sincerely wish your friend the very best. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Ellen! Thank you so much for reading and for sharing such a lovely comment. I’ve enjoyed reading your comments on other posts but have been remiss in following you — but I’ll take care of that! 😉 I appreciate your supportive kindnesses. So, so good. Hugs and big smiles! 🥰

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