Wednesday Letters

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

Image by Karolina Grabowska via Pexels.

On the top of the letter, I wrote the date, folded it up, and placed it in an envelope. I wrote in a past blog post that I try to write my mom once a week. I’m good some weeks, some weeks not so much. One letter, though, that I rarely miss is the one I write my wife. 

For the past 14 years, I’ve written my wife a short note every Wednesday. I’ll usually write a sentence or two about what’s on my mind, what I’m looking forward to or what’s causing me stress. I’ll let her know that I’m thinking about her, and close by expressing my love. The notes have changed some over the years, but they generally follow the same formula. 

In the beginning

I started writing her after reading a 2007 book by author Jason F. Wright called appropriately enough “The Wednesday Letters.”In the book, Wright touches on the themes of forgiveness and resilience. He introduces Jack Cooper who writes a letter each Wednesday to his wife Laurel. When the couple, who own a bed and breakfast, die in each other’s arms on the same night, their three children come together to celebrate their lives and the letters. 

I finished the book one night and a few minutes later my wife came up to bed after working late on school lesson plans and was frustrated about a work issue she was having. I tried to help, but she seemed really down. Of course, I felt like I needed to cheer her up, say something to help her through her challenge. From those inauspicious beginnings, my first Wednesday Letter was born. 

Putting me on the spot

I sifted through a few old letters recently and laughed at how I’ve written about a slew of topics, everything from my first car, job challenges that we’ve both experienced, dreams for our kids, health issues, and everything else in between. My creativity and inspiration has taken me in a lot of different directions.

In total, I’ve written more than 755 Wednesday Letters. Oh, I’ve missed a few Wednesdays here and there and many times my wife doesn’t get her note until Thursday or Friday, because I’ve forgotten to hand it to her, leaving it on my desk, but it’s something I’ve been diligent about doing each week.

My wife likes to tell her friends about the letters. I suppose it’s her way of showing her appreciation or even bragging about me. I’m not a showy personality, so I’m never sure how to respond. People in the crowd who are married or in a long-term relationship will inevitably ooh and ahh and say that they wish their significant other would write them, the spouses meanwhile give me a dirty look that says, “Yo, asshole, what the hell are you doing to me? Now my significant other is going to expect a love letter every week. Thanks for nothing!”

I get red faced, but no one ever listens to the truth. If they did, they would hear me explain in my stuttering and stammering way that I write the letters, because I’m a writer, it’s what I do, and it’s my way of making up for being a forgetful, crummy husband the rest of the week. 

Image by Kaboompics via Pexels.

A method to my madness

I know my faults all too well. I forget to say thank you. I can be brusque and rude. I take things for granted and can come across as selfish and lazy. I’ve learned from experience that if I say thank you and show appreciation and love during the week — for the lack of a better word, if I “romance” my wife — then maybe I can make up for the times when I’m not at my best and possibly get the benefit of the doubt. 

A mountain of books have been written on relationship advice and the five Love Languages — words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch — I can’t say I’m expert on them, but my guess is that my little Wednesday Letter habit is my way of showing I care. 

It must be working a little, my wife hasn’t kicked me out yet. We’re 29 years and counting. 

………

Thank you for reading. I’d love to know how you show others that you care about them. Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com or follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

26 thoughts on “Wednesday Letters”

    1. No, no, Dr. Stein, no long lines here. Far from it. And I don’t write them for that reason. I hesitated even writing about the letters. I tend to keep them between my wife and I, but she likes talking about them and I’ve been thinking a lot about creativity and they’re a big part of my creative outlet. I thought the idea might help someone else. Thanks for the encouragement.

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  5. Wow. I’m glad you chose to write about this, Brian. Dr. Stein’s right – you will receive an outpouring of admiration. What a beautiful tradition. I’m not familiar with the book, but ‘themes of forgiveness and resilience’? What’s better?! And I love what Michelle and Ab shared, “pure gold” and “priceless”. Yes, yes, yes. 🥰🥰🥰

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  6. You are a kind, thoughtful human and husband Brian. It seems that you were touched by an idea, so much so that it became a part of who you wanted to be and then share that new you to show your love. 700+ Wednesday letters speaks to the dedication you have to care and bring a spark to your relationship and that’s to be commended.

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  7. What a wonderful expression of caring. Who knows—your letters may be the glue that held your relationship together for so many years. Those “Yo, asshole” guys could take a page from your book, for sure. But it’s never too late, right?

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      1. The Yo asshole came from me. I mentioned in the story, that that’s how the significant others usually respond when my wife tells people about the letters. I always cringe, because I imagine people thinking, “Yo asshole, now my wife/husband is going to want a letter from me.” I could be imaging things, but that’s probably how I would respond. Ha, ha. And yes, they could write their own letter. I would even start my own letter writing business and help folks, but that’s how I imagine people will react any way. 😎😎😎

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      2. I dunno, Brian. Maybe they’re slow learners? Or need a little bit of boot in the butt to get them on a roll? Or they just haven’t figured it out yet? Or they need a role model to show them the way? Tag—you’re it!

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  8. What a wonderful little tradition, Brian! My primary love language is words of affirmation and, though it’s not his, my boyfriend leaves “I love you”, “Good morning”, “Have a great day!” and other little sticky notes around the house. Those small, thoughtful gestures are worth their weight in gold. As others have mentioned, you’re a good human and a great husband. Thank you for sharing this! I hope others will be inspired to take up something similar.

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  10. I love this Brian. You’re such a thoughtful and caring person. I agree with others, I’m sure your wife looks forward to her weekly messages. 😊 Communication is so important for relationships and your letters are a novel way to ensure youkeep communicating.

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  11. I love this post – and also that it lands on a Wednesday. It’s like we get our own version of a Wednesday letter! What stands out to me is that it’s something proactive you do to make the relationship better instead of what seems to be human nature to be reactive. Beautiful and thoughtful, Brian!!

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    1. It is funny Wynne. I wrote the piece first. Then, I debated when and where I should run it. I debated keeping it on my own site, writing from the heart with Brian. I thought it might take away from the mission of this site. I had it written in March, but I since we were writing lots about humor, I didn’t want to take a way from the theme. I finally decided to run it here when we talked about creativity and inspiration. I get a lot of inspiration by writing the note. Thought it would be appropriate to run on a Wednesday. Ha, ha.

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  12. That’s dedication to romance. I’ve never heard of anyone else doing this so kudos for originality. Does your wife reply to your letter with one she writes on Thursday?

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    1. I guess dedication. I tend to view it as simple “talking with my wife.” It helps as I touched on my promo piece on my site that we had written each other a ton in a long distance relationship before we got married. Writing the Wednesday letter came naturally. My wife doesn’t respond typically. At least not in writing. She’ll bring up something that I’ve written in discussion. It was a source of some discussion in the early going, until it hit me that it’s not her natural love language. Hers tends to be acts of service. Writing is definitely more natural for me.

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