The Subtleties of Love Addiction

The word “addiction” is so alarming to me and brings up all kinds of associations. I think of my mother with her vodka, her DUI’s, her rehab stints, and her overall sad and lonely train wreck of a life. I think of movies that portray addiction and recovery incredibly well, such as 28 Days and Thanks for Sharing. I think of being taken to AA meetings by my parents, my twin sister and I playing under the table while people talk about their feelings in a room full of cigarette smoke. I think of 12-step recovery books arranged welcomingly on the top of toilet tanks (that’s kind of a thing people in recovery do). I grew up in a recovery family and have seen many forms of alcohol addiction. I’ve seen loved ones recover and loved ones pass away from the disease. It’s a loaded word, and for most of my life, I swore I would never be associated with it … More The Subtleties of Love Addiction

Really Listen To The Way We Talk To Ourselves

And today, on this new moon, I’ve been talking to myself in a particularly harsh way. I actually think many of us do this fairly regularly, for whatever reasons. We don’t need to beat ourselves up about this, and we can’t expect to undo this deep-seated habit in one moon cycle. I fully anticipate spending the rest of my life learning to improve the way I love myself, and that’s okay. However, I really think it’s important for us to, at the very least, catch ourselves when we are doing it. And today I caught myself, and was a bit horrified. … More Really Listen To The Way We Talk To Ourselves

This Is Why I Don’t Date People I Really Like

I’ve been avoiding the blogosphere for months now. And do you know why? Because I finally decided to date someone I really like. And whenever I do that, my world turns upside down, all hell breaks loose in my nervous system, and I become unrecognizable to myself. Actually, that last part isn’t true. I definitely recognize this part of myself. She’s been with me for decades, and she hasn’t gone anywhere. I just don’t like the look of her all that much. So over the years, I’ve performed the cunning act of dating people I’m kinda eh about. Because when I’m eh about someone, I don’t lose myself. And when I like someone, my wounds and demons emerge like boils on a toad’s back, which is never fun. … More This Is Why I Don’t Date People I Really Like