A Whoosh of Wisdom

Posted on by Victoria

The hubster and I were out and about examining our new countertops the other day.  Thank goodness that development – countertop installation in the kitchen – is happening soon!  It was a fun outing as we visited with wonderful, talented people (“fabricators”) who will help ensure that the veins in the countertops line up as much as possible in order for it to look like one big slab on the new island.  Crossing fingers!  And yes…that’s how we roll around here. 😉 Visiting a countertop fabricator is fun stuff…dare I say exciting as the kitchen remodeling moves toward a conclusion.

Feeling good and heading home, the hubs decided to take the scenic route. It was a beautiful day and by taking the ‘long way’ we rolled through a hilly area along a river instead of a four-lane, busy highway.  No big decision there – we’ll take the more picturesque drive any time we can. 

Some of the roads are a little twisty-turny on the scenic route and because it was a gorgeous day, we passed bicyclists also enjoying the weather and scenery.  All good. 

Hubs was behind the wheel and he is one of THE most conscientious drivers on the planet.  Maybe because of accidents he’s had himself?  Very thoughtful…to the point of being TOO slow at times when I become a backseat driver.  I’ll own it…but I was well behaved that day. 😉 I can’t say the same for an oddball cyclist who terrorized us at a stop sign. Sigh…I’m still feeling the sting, all from his chaotic rant and mysterious outrage.

Even though the hubs was ultra-considerate, giving the cyclist a wide berth as we slowly drove past him, when we arrived at a stop sign hundreds of yards away, Crazy Mr. Cyclist caught up to us, screaming and gesturing about what flippin’ idiots we were.

I’m sanitizing greatly his rant…no, he didn’t say ‘flippin’…he used that other word over and over again as we tried to understand his outrage.  My default response in a crisis situation (and good golly, he looked like a man in crisis) is how can I help, the leaning in.  I nearly opened my door to get out so I could better understand him.  Thank God I didn’t. 

His words were a jumble (well, except for the distinct F-bombs) and as he gestured wildly and began to approach the passenger side door, I saw the crazy in his eyes.

At this point the smart hubster was slowly pulling away, instinctively assessing the situation as volatile with a capital “V”.  We checked the rear-view mirrors and Crazy Mr. Cyclist tried to be ‘in pursuit’ on his ten-speed, for a bit.  It took me a minute – hubs, too – to feel we’d safely left the situation behind us, but still it clung in the air. 

Mentally ill?  Drunk? Off his meds? Lost and confused?  Maybe Crazy Mr. Cyclist really needed our help?  It was a fleeting feeling, but I carried a twinge of ‘did we do the right thing’ as we drove away.  Hubs and I discussed the strange situation further and agreed that if we’d stayed, it’s likely that some sort of escalation could’ve occurred.  Crazy Mr. Cyclist accusing us of hitting him? Running into our car to manipulate the facts at the scene? 

After the heavy adrenalin rush, I was happy when we arrived home but the fury in the man’s eyes haunted me for the afternoon.  When I forced myself to slow down and meditate a bit, this quote arrived and it was a terrific comfort: 

“The soul has no secret that the behavior does not reveal.”

Lao Tzu

Every meditative moment DOES NOT result in a Whoosh of Wisdom, but when it does? Wow. I was – and am – one grateful woman.

I wish Crazy Mr. Cyclist well but the next time we travel down that picturesque country road, I know my mind will wander to the strange interaction we had with him.  Intense encounters like that? They stick with me for a long while.  Not just because of the wave of fear I felt but because of the wonder that followed.  I hope he’s okay and I truly hope he finds a way to win the war against whatever demons he’s fighting because his behavior, just as Lao Tzu suggested, revealed all.

Vicki ❤

Image:  Photo by Nashua Volquez-Young on Pexels

70 thoughts on “A Whoosh of Wisdom”

  1. That was a strange interaction, yet one that seems increasingly common on the roads these days. I’ve had drivers honk and yell at me aggressively when I had the audacity to put my signal on and slow down to make an illegal left turn. And many cyclists want to be treated with the courtesy of pedestrians while they drive like NASCAR drivers. Sigh.

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    1. It’s still early here, Michelle but your comment made me smile – SO BIG. “Drive like NASCAR drivers”. Yes! Were you there with us? 😊 I mean…I want to be considerate, but he was biking as if he owned the road…but I didn’t go into those details because I figured maybe he was scared of the shoulder? Sigh. Thanks for commiserating with me.
      (And I just read your ‘throwback’ post about lifelong learning. I don’t think I could leave a comment there, so I’ll share here — being a ‘learning addict’ is a very good thing. Loved your post. Yes, yes – never stop learning.) 🥰

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      1. Hi Vicki. Glad I could make you smile this morning. I often shake my head at cyclists and wonder if they have a death wish.

        Learning is so critical to life. I’m making a “60 before 60” list to celebrate my 59th birthday coming up in a few weeks. Not surprisingly, there are a lot of learning activities on that list.

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      4. Thursday morning giggles…thanks, Michelle. Do you have anything on your list about continuing to laugh…perhaps with/at blogging friends? LOL. 🥰

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  2. What a scary experience! My first reaction would have been to escape as quickly as possible. Eeks. He may have displayed the personality of a shooter without the gun. Thank goodness he didn’t have one—and that you are safe!

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    1. Thank you, Julia. I think that was the “lesson” I needed to hear as a result of the encounter. “Personality of a shooter without a gun” – you said that so well. I can handle a good bit of ‘crazy’ but his brand could’ve been violent. Better to be safe. xo and happy Thursday morning to you. 🥰

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  3. Oh Vicki… how truly lovely you are, that your first thought was to wonder how/if you could help him… I felt as if I were right there in the car with you. That quote!!! “The soul has no secret that the behaviour does not reveal.” is powerful!!! I can’t help but wonder what is going on in his life/ what HAS gone on in his life, for him to be so out of control. I’m glad you both kept your cool and quietly removed yourselves from the situation. After 61 years, I, too, am finally learning that I cannot fix everything, and that sometimes, all I can do is walk away. God bless him, though: I hope he gets the help he needs before he hurts someone (or hurts himself). There are so many broken people out there. Thank you for showing such compassion as you told this story. The world would be a better place if we could all find it in our hearts to wonder at the back stories… xoxo 💕

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    1. I love how you captured how I felt – yes! Wondering about his back story. And I don’t know that I was that compassionate, truly. Curious, for sure, but it’s an example of how my life with my mom gave me ‘boot camp’ training in trying to understand behavior…rather than turn away (when sometimes a smart person should)! xo to you, Patti…we live and learn together, don’t we? 🥰

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      1. I sure hope so 🙂 I often feel like my ‘living and learning’ is one step forward; one step back (but oh, I am working on it 🙂💕)

        Still happily waiting on your book (I think it’s only been a week 🤓). I will be giving you my feedback for sure, when I will have finished it! 💕

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      2. Oh my goodness yes — a step forward, a step back! I can relate to that! And thank you so much for ordering “Surviving Sue”. I know shipping might take longer to get to you but a week seems like a long time already. Hopefully it will arrive soon. I can’t wait to know what you think of it. Thank you, Patti! 🥰

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  4. What a bummer! You take the less traveled road for some peace and quiet and to get a bit of a break and run smack dab into conflict and challenge. Ugh. What a bizarre situation. You’re kind to ask about him, but I’m glad you guys were able to quickly keep on moving and get away. Who knows what was on the crazy guy’s mind!?!?!? (What exactly did he think catching up to a moving car, with him on a bike, would accomplish?) Oh, I’m sorry you guys had to deal with this!

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    1. It was bizarre…and I had that scene from the Wizard of Oz in my head…the Wicked Witch on her bike, cycling through the clouds with that horrifically angry look on her face? LOL – another example of why you and I think that’s one of the scariest movies EVER, right? Thanks, Brian! 😎

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      4. Yep…I know you’re right. I like your thought above – maybe the universe dealt him a blow…the demise of his bro, the ‘wicked biker of the East’ …working out aggression of another sort altogether, Wizard of Oz-style?! 🤣

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  5. Cyclists always make me nervous as a driver cuz I worry I’ll hit them. Sounds like quite the intense encounter and glad it didn’t get worse!

    Looking forward to seeing your remodeled kitchen!

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    1. Thanks, Ab — yes! We were very focused on giving him plenty of room, which is why the whole thing was so weird! And LOL – yes — after all of my whining about remodeling I should just invite everyone over to see the finished product! 😜xo!

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  7. You know, I don’t think there are enough bike paths out there. I always see cyclists trying hard to avoid traffic – it must be stressful to need to always be on the lookout. However, that definitely doesn’t excuse wild rants! I think moving away from the situation was an excellent idea. Glad it wasn’t any worse.

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  8. WOW! I think that moment would stick with me for some time- both because of the confrontation but also simply trying to puzzle through the why? I venture to guess that you and hubs could have pulled to the opposite shoulder of the road and it still would not have been enough when you passed. I so get how you both could feel threatened but clearly his thought process didn’t go to the fact that he had no idea who he might have been confronting. What might some other driver have been concealing and have chosen to use on the crazy biker to defend themselves in that moment…

    If nothing else you have a whopping story to share for years to come 😉

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    1. Thanks, Deb! What a great point. You’re right – the biker could’ve put himself at risk if another driver felt provoked AND reacted aggressively, ready to retaliate. 😉Thx for that observation.

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  9. My first reaction was to think that sometimes the universe sends us situations to remind us that we are not responsible for everything and everyone. Glad you made the right choice and carried on.

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  10. When our house was being remodeled one of the workman mentioned how he disliked cyclists on the road [and we have many of them around here]. Not that he was against cycling, but because so many cyclists didn’t obey the rules of the road while he had to drive his company’s truck around them. The workman’s question was: how are these cyclists insured? If one of them causes a traffic accident who pays? No answer, but your story reminds me of the question.

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    1. Gosh…I love the parallels here…related to your remodeling, our remodeling…things and people who come into our lives, errands we need to run. Great question about insurance for cyclists when they’re on the road. I guess I just suspect the driver bears responsibility – maybe by default – but if the cyclist is negligent…I see the point the workman made. Hmmm… Thanks for making me think this morning, Ally. 😉

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  11. What a bizarre experience! With its temperate weather most of the year, Phoenix is a hub for cyclists. My neighborhood has a “bike gang” – literally a group of 150+ wealthy and entitled cyclists who go out daily and take up the entire road (obstructing the passage of cars), always disregarding traffic laws blowing through stop signs. If you try to slowly creep by in your car, they yell and throw up their hands. Maybe it’s cyclist culture to be mildly unhinged? 😂 As you and others have stated, sometimes we just need to let go.

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    1. Thanks for that perspective, Erin. You might be right – maybe there’s a ‘cyclist culture’ that we’re clueless about – especially about assessing safe distances or etiquette? I love the word ‘unhinged’ to describe the dude we encountered. Great word! 😉

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  12. I’ve not had good luck with cyclists either, not obeying traffic laws and being rude. “F____ Off, get out of the way!” And I was walking! I think you are quite gracious to have been thinking about his welfare. The quote is a keeper. It explains so much. Thanks for the post.

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    1. You….you….you…can you see me smiling? 😎 We decided on quartz that will mimic the look of marble. I think it took us months…and months…to come to terms with what material to use. So many choices! In the end, I/we need a countertop that will look nice, but also survive the intense usage, not require any ‘babying’. I love your inquiring mind, EW!

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      4. Yep, rounded corners and the backsplash behind the stove will be the quartz – like the countertop – but the rest will be tiled backsplash. I’ll need to send you a pic when we’re finally done! 😘

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  14. Holy smokes – what a story. And what a whoosh of wisdom. Yes, the soul can’t quite keep secrets, can’t it? Beautiful insight even as we dig for what kind of secret it could be. Did he think you were someone else? Does the vulnerability of being a bike unsettle him?

    And on the other side, why is it that we think we can keep soul secrets or not do the work to uncover what’s really going on? I love that you sat down and meditated that through. Because at least for me, if I do that work, I have the chance to not pass on the aggression that someone has dumped on me.

    Great post, Vicki. Sooo much to think about! And yay for the countertops!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  15. I was right there with you, being cautious about the man while wanting to reach out and help because he was obviously not in a good way. I’ve begun to venture down that road when I came to my senses and got the hell out of there. Being raised with a mentally ill mother molded me into someone who wanted to fix the crazy. But she’s gone, I’ve done a lot of healing, and have all sorts of compassion for those who are obviously unwell… from afar. The Lao Tzu quote is golden! I haven’t read his work in a long time, but what perfect wisdom to receive.

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    1. Thank you so much! I think some of us might pick up on those nuances of “unwell” from our experiences with family members. I’m sorry to hear that’s been true for you, too.
      Thank you for sharing…and I’m so happy to hear you connected with the quote. 🙂 Take care!

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  17. “I truly hope he finds a way to win the war against whatever demons he’s fighting because his behavior, just as Lao Tzu suggested, revealed all.” – in my opinion you two made the right decision to leave the situation! Keep enjoying the back roads of America they are the best!

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    1. There he is! Thanks for the humor, Mr. Petruska! LOL! No – I left nothing out – especially a telling little nugget such as that.
      Hope you have a good day today…we’re experiencing some intense haze in the Chicago area from the Canadian fires. You?

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      2. We are in the same, smokey boat. It’s 177 here…and although I don’t want to complain, we are ‘windows open’ people and this is the first day EVER that I can recall closing up – not because of humidity or heat but because of air quality. The sky is thick.

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