Better . . . stronger . . . faster!

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

I tried to sprint the final 20 yards, but my legs felt like slabs of concrete. I straightened up my posture, but I was instantly back to being hunched over like an old man. My breaths came in deep gulps. I turned a corner in the trail, hit my stopwatch and shuffled my feet to a grinding walk. I wiped the sweat away from my face, looked in front of me and then behind to make sure no one was around and then let out a deep, frustrated wale. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. I didn’t even want to think about my time.

I’m trying to get back into running — it’s my on-again, off-again routine to take control of my life and get back into shape — but I’ve been having some problems. My biggest issue has been the clock. I ran off and on throughout my thirties and forties and even early into my fifties. It gave me a lot of enjoyment.

Unfortunately, I stopped and now I’m trying to get back into it. I remember the times I used to cover a mile or even three miles. I’m far from those times. In fact, I’m not even in the same stratosphere. If you add in the passage of the years, the fact that I’m carrying a few extra pounds, and my expectations being nowhere near reality, and you can quickly see why it’s been a frustrating experience.

A perfectionist in a changing times 

I’m reminded each time I go out for a run that I’m not the runner or the person I used to be. My legs aren’t springy anymore, they’re more like dead weight. To top it off, I run slouched over now with my head down. Oh, I still know what good form looks like and I try to copy it, but thanks to my poor core muscles, I inevitably find myself right back in the same position.

Oh, we talk a lot about measurements and indicators and goals and objectives in the real world. I’m a big believer in the drive for constant improvement and continual learning. The perfectionist in me eats those things up.

You make an ambitious goal, you practice and work towards it each day. When you’re fortunate and hit it, you start the process all over again and make a completely new goal.

Bionic muscles

The name of the game is constant improvement. I’m like the narrator in the opening introduction of the 1970s TV show The Six Million Dollar Man who explains that astronaut Steve Austin has had a bad accident, but doctors can bring him back to life and make him stronger.

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better . . . stronger . . . faster.” 

Better . . . stronger . . . faster.

Failure is not an option

Oh, yes, as a perfectionist, I routinely set high expectations for myself and can be overly critical. When kept to a healthy minimum, it can be self-motivating and can help me overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can lead to a fast track path to unhappiness.

And what’s more, striving for perfection puts failing in such a negative light. No one ever wants to fail, but it’s the only way we learn and grow. At least, it’s the way I tend to learn best. I know all this in my brain, but try telling that to my heart. I constantly need to fight the urge to be perfect. I can explain away other’s imperfections and mistakes, but I don’t allow myself the same imperfections. I have to put my best foot forward . . . always.

Science tells us that perfectionism is driven by both internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment, and external social components. Pyschologists also tell us that you need to eliminate perfectionism by letting go of the comparison mindset. They suggest practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment, using compassionate self-talk, and challenging negative self-judgments. The key is to realize that an endeavor can be worthwhile even if it’s not perfect. 

What’s worked for me lately? Talking to myself like I would another person. I’m trying to give myself the grace that I’m so willing to give others. It’s a struggle, but I’m getting there.

Oh, yes, I can make rebuild myself, I can better than I was before, better . . . stronger . . . faster . . . as long as I give myself grace and forgiveness to fail.

. . . .

Please join in on the discussion. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read my companion piece. You can follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

Images by Pexels.

34 thoughts on “Better . . . stronger . . . faster!”

  1. Bro, I feel this. I’ve been running for over 30 years now, with some starts and stops. lately I’ve been pretty consistent but my pace is, at best, still much slower that it once was. And just yesterday, I took off on what I thought would be a pretty “easy” run that turned into a really frustrating jog with some walking. My body just wasn’t having it! It is frustrating! But I’ll keep running. Or jogging, or whatever I can manage. It’s learning to be okay with how my body is changing as I age that is the real challenge.

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    1. So well said David. I need to be more consistent in getting out there, but my real issue is just what you said: being okay with my changing body and realizing that what once took me a certain amount of time is going to take longer. Ugh. I gotta get used to that. Ha, ha, thanks so much for letting me know that I’m not crazy.

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  2. Pingback: The Bionic Man! – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  3. Gah…so much to love in your post, Brian. Those ‘springy legs’ are long gone for me, too, and I think your observation about letting go of the comparison mindset – even when we’re just comparing to our younger selves – is such a terrific point. Move to the extent you can – NOW – and keep at it. I love what David said about consistency…even when you need to literally talk yourself into it. So good! 🥰

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  4. Oh boy, you are in my head, Brian! Like you, I know “The name of the game is constant improvement.” But I keep comparing myself to my younger self. I need to strengthen my core and straighten my posture and do it with grace and kindness. Thank you for writing what I needed to hear!!

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  5. Oh, this is so relatable, Brian! I’ve been getting back into fitness after an extended break and definitely not picking up where I left off. Giving ourselves a little grace is often the answer. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good, right?

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  7. I’m there with you–ran (or jogged) from my 20s through my 50s and into my early 60s and then due to people living with me, got out of the habit. Now I would like to start back up again but am afraid of how my body will react. (especially my knees)

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  8. You’re describing my off and on again swimming. I’ve written so many times that consistency is the key, but I’m consistently lacking in going. I love this: “What’s worked for me lately? Talking to myself like I would another person. I’m trying to give myself the grace that I’m so willing to give others.” I’ll give it a try.

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  9. Well, good luck, Brian. If you are a baseball fan, you know the names of the legendary greats who reached the point of becoming a shadow of that greatness. Most do not retire before their demise has been obvious for quite a while. In the last 75 years, one might remember Joe DiMaggio and Sandy Koufax, who actually did quit while they were ahead. Something for all of us to think about.

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  11. I think you said it best, Brian. The goal is continuous improvement. Perfectionism is an unobtainable goal that leads to a lot of unnecessary pressures and disappointments. Unless you’re a bionic man that is! 😆

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  13. Way to go, Brian! It gets harder to pick back up with more rigorous exercise the older we get. Since retirement, I’ve been very dedicated because I know I feel and sleep better when I do. The discouraging thing is even when we take a few days off, our bodies are slow to bounce back. I’ve gone from 6 days a week to 3-4 days a week in the last couple of years, and my endurance sucks. That’s not because I’m getting lazier. It’s my body telling me you’re not 20-40 years old anymore. That’s hard to accept, but each time I do it feels like a win.

    By the way, I HATE running, unless it involves some form of competition. If I get involved in tennis, racket ball, pickleball, it doesn’t seem like running.

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    1. Oh, I’m trying Pete. It’s definitely a process. I’m fine with not being 20 or 40. I’d just like to have some consistency. And you’ve nailed it, I definitely need to find a sport to make some of the running part a little more enjoyable. Wish me luck — I need it. Ha, ha.

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  15. I have a friend who began running in his early 50’s. This guy is a freak of nature and at age 69 now, he has run an insane number of marathons and often travels to do 2 per month.
    Down on the more human level where I run 😅, I try to remember why I run; which in my case is not really to be fast, but to feel good and strong running long distances and in living life.

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  16. Great Blog – I was a runner (jogger, slow runner…) and could never keep up with my peers. My body is just not a running body. But now I speed walk, and that’s something that is still working for me – However, each year on Thanksgiving – I pull out my running enthusiasm and join the local turkey trot with my daughter and son-in-law. This year, my 7-year-old grandson joined and beat me! But I ran, s….l….o….w….l…y! But I ran! Thanks for the post!!!

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