When our daughter was born in the early 90s, I tried to write about her birth. She was our first child and I wanted to put down on paper the joy and happiness my wife and I were feeling.
I wanted to describe our crazy journey together. In my excitement to get us to the hospital, I stumbled and nearly pushed my wife down our stairs. Thankfully God was watching over us and helped me regain my footing and hold her upright. If I hadn’t, I would’ve taken my wife’s legs out from underneath her, and God knows what would’ve happened. I wanted to get that story down on paper, but I also wanted to write about the wonderful nurses who helped us and our daughter’s grand arrival.
I bubbled over with excitement. When I had a moment, usually late at night while I rocked our daughter, I would have a journal nearby and try to jot down an idea or two. As hard as I tried, though, nothing came. I would stare at my sleeping newborn, thinking how amazing she was and wonder what was wrong with me. I kept at several times, but the result was always the same.
I would shake my head in anger and frustration. Why couldn’t I write about such a momentous event in my life? Why wasn’t the inspiration and creativity hitting me? In reality, we were still in the middle of one of the biggest challenges in our life. When our daughter was born, she was jaundiced and we worried about her not doing well. (We didn’t really know much about it at the time, but it’s actually very common. Many healthy babies have some jaundice during the first week of life, usually due to an immature liver. It’s usually short-term, can be easily treated, and goes away within a few weeks.)
Opening the floodgates
When we got through that, the doctors, my wife and I worried about her throwing-up every time she ate something. We barely had time to breathe. In time, though, our daughter’s health improved and we started to get into a routine with the late night feedings and diaper changes. I felt like I was somewhat used to everything that was being thrown at us. I figured I would try again.
This time, the writing flowed like never before.
For the first time, I was able to write about how the delivery room nurse placed my daughter under a warmer and how she kept trying to move her tiny body in the direction of my wife and my voice. I wrote too about how she grabbed my pinky finger in her hand and how my heart instantly melted. She could’ve looked in the direction of something bright like a toy or teddy bear across the room. I would have gladly run through fire to collect it.
It was like a fire hydrant had been opened up and I couldn’t believe my eyes. The words came pouring out of me.
Too scared to move
While less noteworthy in the grand scheme of things, I felt a similar creative block several years later at work. I was leading a large project that had a lengthy list of communications and technology-related deliverables. My team and I were under enormous financial and deadline pressures with the project. Despite those pressures, we still needed to be creative on demand.
On top of that, my boss had a penchant of adding to the stress and fear. He ruled over the project with an iron-fist. Instead of creating an atmosphere of calm and professionalism, he cast doubt and second-guessing. Team members worried about making the wrong decision. They feared one mistake or wrong move would mean a black strike next to their name.
Taking back my creativity
Like my team, I found myself stuck in place in a position of “paralysis by analysis.” When I tried to “think outside of the box” and bring some creativity into my work, I hit a brick wall. I decided to make a change. I brought my team together and we brainstormed ideas on how we could make a change for the better. I knew my boss was going to have his issues. However, I could still create an air of openness and trust on my own team. I told my team to forget about him, I would manage him. We were going to collaborate and work together in a non-judgmental way to meet our goals.
And sure enough, we found ourselves working in a much more creative and efficient way. No story was too silly. No idea out of bounds. In the end, we achieved enormous success because of the team’s willingness to trust and build off of each other’s ideas.
Key ingredients to creativity
I recognized years ago that creativity is important to me. Yes, the first rule of my writing or any creative pursuit is to get my butt in the seat. I’m a big believer in creating a regular, consistent work schedule and work space. Yes, that is oh so important to creativity, but time away helps too. I need other things too:
- Creating open communications and collaboration with others.
- Brainstorming and generating a range of ideas.
- Listening to others and breaking down the problem or whatever you’re trying to solve to its basic tenets.
- Encouraging a creative, giving environment.
- Accepting and have a willingness to take risks.
- Fighting the urge to be perfect. Perfectionism is a loser’s game.
- Allowing yourself the freedom to adjust and make mistakes.
When I’m really stuck, I find listening to music helps. I’m not overly musical, but it seems to open another part of my being. For me, the biggest thing related to creativity is having a sense of peace and optimism, that everything is on the table and anything is possible. Yes, anything is possible. What ingredients do you need to be at your creative best?
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Check out my personal lifestyle blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read other pieces by me. You can also follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian. Thank you for reading.
Images by Pexels.
The Heart of the Matter 
I love your question about the “ingredients”, Brian and the power of optimism and keeping our butts in our seats…while also knowing when to get up and walk away. There’s an intensity in the moment that can be frustrating when we want words to flow! Your post is a wonderful reminder about the power of timing, pacing. Gratitude. Thank you! 🥰
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The end of the day I think it comes back having grace … as in, being kind to ourselves and letting the creativity flow versus keeping up with some schedule we keep in our heads. Thanks Vicki!
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Agree! 🥰
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Oh, these are such great fundamentals, Brian! And you highlight the experience so well with your two stories. I think you are right on that the heart can be too full to write.
You’ve touched on this with your point about perfectionism – but I try to make sure that I’m leaving my inner editor out of it on that first pass. If I can just get it on to paper and THEN edit, it flows so much better.
Love this incredible post about the conditions of creativity!
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Oh I fight perfectionism every day! Need to constantly push back. I follow your advice: get something down first, anything. And then edit. Otherwise, I would never have anything!!
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a great approach to a place where many of us get stuck. I tend to take a break and walk back with a new perspective and approach, even if it’s just in my mindset.
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A change of scenery. That’s so important. I find it helps get me out whatever rut I’m in. Thanks Beth.
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This is beautiful: ” I wrote too about how she grabbed my pinky finger in her hand and how my heart instantly melted.”
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Instead of giving me her pinky, now it’s a text I wasn’t expecting or a call. “Hey dad, things are good, just calling to check on you.” Gets me every time. Ha ha
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That’s wonderful. My kids tend to call me for no reason while they are out on walks. It’s several times a week. I feel blessed.
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This is a great recipe. I think you’ve nailed it that the overwhelm of emotions can inhibit creative flow, so we’ve got to empty the mind of those stressors first.
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I’m not sure I was great explaining it but I know I like to be able to feel the emotion, but too much emotion can bring about paralysis too. I need to feel it, but still be able to separate myself and tell the story the way that it’s best to tell it. 🙂
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There are some experience, even if not explained perfectly (you did a fine job!), are so universal that the entire audience is surely nodding along.
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😎😎😎🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Great suggerstions about how to open up more avenues for creativity, Brian. I know when I have something on my mind that’s bothering me, I like to tackle it head on and then I feel more ease and creativity follows.
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Yes, the more I put things off, the more it festers. I have to balance that because sometimes it helps to step away. A real catch-22. Ha, ha.
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I loved the sweet story of your daughter’s birth and your eventual release of your emotional response in writing. Thank you for your pointers to defog the creative part of one’s brain. A cup of tea and a cocoa bone broth food bar does it for me. But when it doesn’t, I’ll remember resort to your hints! 🙂
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Oh, I like your ideas better. Much better. Ha, ha.
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Beautiful post, Brian. And you nailed an important truth about creativity and inspiration.
We generally need calm and psychological safety in order to create and to have that fire hydrant open up. Yes, there are people who use chaos as muse but that is the exception rather than the norm. 🙏
The micro manager boss with the iron fist is rarely effective.
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So true Ab. Iron fist does not work. At least, not that I’ve seen.
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Being blocked is something all creative people experience, and I’ve had more than enough of my share of that in the past few years. A good friend has helped me focus at times of peak frustration. I hope I can be that kind of friend to someone else when the time comes. Your story helps. Great post! Thank you.
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Aww, thanks Belinda. “I hope I can be that kind of friend to someone else when the time comes.” What a great wish!
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I can relate to getting stuck sometimes when it comes to writing about things that are very meaningful to us. But then other times the words just flow- it’s weird!
I like your point that “perfection is a losers game” – ain’t that the truth! It took a long time for that one to sink in on me 😅
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Yes, the perfection thing is a constant balancing act, some times good, sometimes horrible. Ugh, 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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This is a really helpful post — how you listed some elements to putting together a space where creativity can flourish. Because the opposite of each of those bulleted lists can be included in an environment — like with your boss in the example of you and your team working on a big project. Big keys are the willingness to take risks and make mistakes and grow along the way.
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There’s a song by Jen Cloher called “Analysis Paralysis” that rails against marriage inequality in Australia. A great example of overthinking something into immobility.
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