Swimming against the current

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

(I wrote this story in October and have kept pushing it back into a corner. It always seemed like the wrong time to run it. I’m thinking now that the story was trying to tell me something. Maybe, it’s a great story to start the new year.)

Legendary U.S. Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps won an Olympic record 28 medals, which included 23 golds, making him the most decorated Olympian of all time. In his swimming career, he certainly had his share of success.

During the TV coverage of the 2024 Summer Olympics, the announcers panned to Phelps and interviewed him after each race. He’s retired now, but I couldn’t help but think of his many wins. For some strange reason, though, I wanted interviewers to ask him about his losses. I wanted to know how he picked himself back up and about the hours of time he spent training.

My focus on Phelps’ losses probably says more about my crazy idiosyncrasies than anything about him. I suspect I wanted to know more about them, because I find those are the moments that shape us. At least they’re the ones that shape me. I find my mistakes help me learn to get better and grow as a person. In particular, I’ve been thinking about the times when I’ve been disappointed in a race or how I’ve performed.

A few moments came quickly to mind:

  • When I’ve fallen or failed to be the father my children, now all adults, deserved or needed. When I’ve pushed too hard. When I demanded instead of listened.
  • When I’ve sought out various jobs and promotions over the years and earned interviews or second interview, but failed to secure an offer.
  • When I’ve been scared to trust or take too much risk and have retreated inside of myself, instead of pushing forward.
  • When I wasn’t there when my wife needed me.
  • When I’ve failed to meet my own high expectations.

Life is a funny thing though. It’s impossible not to look at life without looking at the failures and the down moments. But at same time, the high notes, the achievements and good times, stick out too.

If I’m being honest, I can’t help but think of times too when I’ve surprised myself:

  • When I proposed to my wife. Prior to meeting my wife, marriage was the last thing on my mind. Oh, it was out there, but I had a million other goals I wanted to achieve before I even thought about getting married. I met my wife and those other dreams went by the wayside.
  • When my kids were born and I was surprised by how much joy I got from being a father. How changing diapers in the middle of the night stunk (yes, pun intended), but once I got past the lack of sleep and hassle, there were incredible bonding experiences. (Thank you Sandra Boynton. If you know, then you know. If you don’t, then check out “The Going to Bed Book.”)
  • When I got to celebrate our anniversaries and look back with surprise at all that we’ve accomplished.
  • When my kids have celebrated their own graduations and accomplishments.

The Heart of the Matter attracts many different audiences, but especially dreamers and artists. It especially attracts people committed to creating and helping others. In the end, I think we’re all drawn to analyzing our highs and lows. I come back to a few basic guidelines. Life is full of surprises. It can be incredibly easy and hard all at the same time. We can be our own toughest critics or our biggest supporter.

Often the best thing we can do for ourselves is roll with the punches. They may take us off course, but who knows, maybe that’s the path we were always supposed to take.

. . .

Some of the best of Michael Phelps:

“Nothing is impossible. With so many people saying it couldn’t be done, all it takes is an imagination.”

“If you want to be the best, you have to do things that other people aren’t willing to do.”

“It’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.”

“Your only limit is your mind.”

“Success is not about the destination, it’s about the journey.”

. . . . . . . . .

Check out my personal lifestyle blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read other pieces by me. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian. Thanks for reading.

41 thoughts on “Swimming against the current”

  1. Pingback: And then the magic happened – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  4. My Dad was 20 in 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. He transformed his defeats into affirmations by saying to himself, “Every knock is a boost” — telling himself he would learn something and make himself better. If he hadn’t done that for the better part of a decade, I doubt I would have been born. Thanks, Brian.

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    1. Love your dad’s perspective Gerald. My grandparents and parents used to talk a lot about the Great Depression and the challenges they encountered and I find that always puts life now into perspective. Love his mantra – “Every knock is a boost.” Perfectly said. Thank you for sharing.

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  6. I love this post Brian! Like you, I’m also more interested in how people deal with setbacks, sometimes I overlook how important it is to also look back on what we’veachieved.

    Those quotes are excellent – great inspiration!

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  7. I can’t even say how much I love this post, Brian. I think you’re right – this is perfect for the beginning of the year. Such an encouraging post for dreamers and artists who are willing to learn from the highs and lows in order to create an authentic path. So grateful to be on this path with you! Here’s to 2025! ❤

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  8. Whenever life dealt me blows – and I had my fair share, believe me – I just cranked up “Eye of the Tiger” as loudly as I could. It always gave me the strength to deal with adversity. Plus, how can you deny that riff?

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  9. Michael Phelps was a gracious class act. He never appeared to be haughty or full of himself. He didn’t have to be successful on the world stage to have integrity and humility. Being a caring father, devoted husband, and an employee who gives their employer an honest day’s work is success. Great post, Brian. 🙂

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  10. I went to an event in Palm Desert with Michael Phelps as the speaker and wrote a blog post about it. An NBC personality (I don’t know who she was) asked him questions. I’ll post a link here so you don’t have to search my blog for the story. Phelps went through many hard times including suicidal thoughts and depression, and fought his way back to the top. https://bleuwater.me/2017/03/06/everything-ive-gone-through-has-made-me-who-i-am-today-michael-phelps/ Since this interview, his coach Bob Bowman, who he talks about, became the head coach at ASU. Phelps moved to Scottsdale and helps out with the swim team. This past year, Bowman moved to the Longhorns.

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      1. Thanks. Phelps really opened up in the interview. He and other Olympic swimmers with depression have come forward to help others who suffer. It will be interesting to see what Bowman does in Texas. He took ASU, which was the last ranked men’s team in the PAC-12 to PAC-12 Champions in a few years — and NCAA Champions!

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  12. Michael Phelps’ story is an inspiration – and for me, more so when I learned of his learning disabilities and how he rose above that despite these.

    I agree with you that swimming against the current and rolling with the ups and downs of life is the best way to live it!

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  13. great reflections and I’ll bet that Michael Phelps was very hard on his own ‘failures’. we are, are times, our own worst critics, but look at all the good, the positives, even the failures, when can learn so much from them and they lead us into some other unexpected direction. it’s all a part of this crazy life and what makes us human. are you kind? are you a good human? score!!

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  14. I’m totally in sync with you on this one, Brian. The lessons that have stuck with me the longest are the times I’ve failed. (I don’t even like to think of them as failures. They’re more like do-overs.) Picking ourselves back up after a fall is one of the most valuable attributes in life.

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  17. I really felt it when you mentioned pushing your children too hard. I can’t count the times I pushed my son when he was struggling mightily. The times I pushed while simultaneously trying to support him and get him help that was either not enough (special education in a small, rural elementary school), or wasn’t available (one year long wait list for a pediatric psychiatrist). Trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole until the peg broke. Ugh. But we made it through, and as you suggested, I believe it was the path we were always supposed to take. Wonderful piece!

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  18. You form a great balance in this post, and I agree with you about mistakes being valuable for learning. We can try to avoid them, and we can get really down when they happen. But mistakes are bound to happen. And they teach us to evaluate what went wrong to try to learn from that, and have the resiliency to try again 🌞

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