Love Me List

Posted on by Victoria

Yes…I Talk to Myself. Often.

We’re focusing on ‘self-care’ this month and as I thought about this week’s post, I realized most of what I needed to learn on the topic has already been drilled into me, one way or another.  The troublesome part?  Stickiness.  Self-care efforts need to become habit-forming in order to pay dividends. This we know to be true, and it includes the practice of confronting misbegotten feelings about oneself as well.  Jettisoning baggage in order to embrace who we are – good, bad and the always messy “in between”. 

One purposeful technique comes in the form of declarative statements about myself on my ‘Love Me List’ (previously referred to as the “Love Me Anyhow List” but I’ve evolved, as has my list).  It’s my way of flipping the critiques, self-blame, negative nuggets into affirmations – acknowledgements without apology or shame. 

This week’s list is what you see snipped in above.  Take a peek.  I’ll wait for you. 😊

I’m Not the Only One…

Working on myself is a non-stop effort and Dan Harris’ “Ten Percent Happier” content is a joyful resource.  Have you tuned in?  Podcasts or TED talks? I love his ‘don’t be a jerk to yourself’ approach in this short TED talk.  

Maybe you’re like Harris and you’re not ready to go full woo-woo by putting your hand on your heart, saying, “It’s okay Sweetie, I’m here for you” as you stare down your faults and failings, but simple meditative practices can go a long way toward soul repair, done in a myriad of ways.

Harris eschews the notion that self-care is for narcissists. (Yes, I could’ve chosen another word other than ‘eschew’ but it came to mind and I’m sticking with it.  Insert another word of your choice if you like. Avoids?  Shuns?)  Harris is a proponent of utilizing ‘loving kindness’ meditations and in his TED talk he humorously demystifies the practice – no fancy tools or techniques.  Just this:

May you be happy

May you be safe

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

A daily practice of loving kindness meditation helps me step outside my current worries in order to focus on others. When I wind down and return to self, I often pick an additional affirmation of my own.  Yes.  From my ‘Love Me List’.  My current fave:

“My natural state is happy.  Yours may not be.  It’s not a contest.”

I caught myself this week – nearly apologizing for being happy. 😜 Some of you know I’ve been busy with the promo work for my book, “Surviving Sue” and while I’m thrilled with the response thus far (thanks to many of you for reading and for your generous feedback) some of the input’s made me chuckle.  My post on Victoria Ponders today shares a giggle on that topic.  Hop over if you have a moment.  

Here’s to you being you.  However you get there.  Dan Harris’ wisdom might help…or maybe you’ll create your own “Love Me List”…and join me in my no apologies tour.

Vicki 🥰

Visit me on my personal blog, Victoria Ponders

60 thoughts on “Love Me List”

  1. Pingback: My Natural State is Happy – Victoria Ponders

  2. In my therapy practice I knew many who would have benefited from your suggestions, Vicki. On the other side we could all benefit from learning how to give unqualified apologies. That’s a different blog post, I suppose. Thanks for this one.

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    1. Ohhh….I like your thought there…yes! A wonderful suggestion for another post. Thanks for that observation. Going into my ‘idea file’. 😊

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  3. A “Love Me List” – what a great concept! I often look back to my younger years and think of how I was so filled with self-doubt. I’m over that now! The older I get, the more I realize how silly it was to spend so much time worrying about what other people think of me. These days, I am unapologetically me. If people don’t like it, that’s their choice. I can do without them. LOL

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    1. Go, Michelle! I don’t want to dwell on how long it’s taken me to get to this place…worrying less about others’ thoughts of me, hard as that can be. Glad to have your company… joining me in the effort! 🥰

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  4. I like the prescriptive and inspirational nature of your post. My two big take aways are to come up with my own Love me List and be more consistent with my own meditation. Oh, I’ve thought about what make me special or what makes me “me” in the past, but I love as you say, flipping the script and turning self-blame into positives “without apology or shame.” As I Surviving Sue, I think we both have that in common, the need to turn the critiques into something other than what they were for the sake of survival. I can definitely relate. Thank you so much!!!!!

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    1. Thanks for all of that, Brian. I almost thought I should post a disclaimer…every HoTM post from me won’t be another ‘list’ but this seemed like a good one to share. 😉 So glad to hear it made sense to you – and yes! Maybe, in part, for the reason you mentioned – that we both have work to do to pivot those negative bits from our childhoods into positives…empowerment thoughts. Thank you so much for reading “Surviving Sue”…I can’t wait to hear what you think about all of it…but for sure, you’ve captured a connection between me, my self-care practice and my ‘origin story’ (Sue). Thank YOU! 🥰

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  5. “Here’s to you being you.” Love this! I think so many people are trying to fit the bill of what they “should” be, never stopping to realizing that they are perfect, quirks and all. I think we could all benefit from a ‘Love Me List’. 😊

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  6. “Eschew” -just seeing that word in your post makes me happy Vicki. Such an appropriate word so why not use it! I’ve been thinking about this topic, trying to figure out how I want to approach it for my post later in the month. I have lots of varied responses to the concept of self care, not always following that normative trend. I love the overall feel of this post though, the permission maybe to find acceptance about yourself, however that may come about. I also love how affirming your quote is and it reminds me of what Ally Bean often says “You do you”!

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    1. I love that you…one of my favorite wordsmiths/vocabulary lovers…enjoyed the “eschew”bit! And don’t we love Ally’s wisdom? Agree with you so much — “self care” only works if we’re being true to ourselves. Ally’s “you do you” is a three-word gem! 🥰

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    1. LOL! “Be-Positive”…blood type…yay! You’ll love Harris’ short TED talk. It’s a gem…and thanks for joining me in letting go of some self-blame junk…and for the nice comment about my list — thank you so much! 🥰

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  9. I love lists and I find it so interesting to see what other people put on theirs. I do like your love me list – a great concept and helps to put our own needs as a priority. I like the idea of accepting who we are and not trying to change because others expect something different. I think we need to have the confidence to stand up for and support ourselves just as much as we would for others … now I’ve just surprised myself with that idea, I need to think on it more 🤭

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  11. My favorite ‘Love Me List’ go-to when the clouds begin to gather Victoria, is to remind myself that, in spite of how I may feel . . . God made me on purpose for a purpose, and loves me unconditionally.

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      1. Your command is my wish and apparently “falutins” don’t exist in the wild without an accompanying “Hi” as in 👋

        hifalutin
        adjective
        hi·​fa·​lu·​tin
        less common spelling of HIGHFALUTIN
        1
        : PRETENTIOUS, FANCY
        highfalutin people
        2
        : expressed in or marked by the use of language that is elaborated or heightened by artificial or empty means : POMPOUS

        https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hifalutin

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      2. Well, now – look at that! You and I were on the right track…the same page…if ‘high falutin’ and ‘pretentious’ are synonyms. Neither one of us wants to be THOSE things…and certainly not pompous, right? Thanks for the Sunday giggle…and for the doing the research that lazy me didn’t! I figured it was a full-on made-up word! Merriam-Webster says otherwise! 🤣🥰🤣

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  13. I had to giggle at your “woo woo” comment only because my life took a very unexpected turn fully into the woo-woo courtesy of wanting my kid to actually fall asleep at bedtime. Long story, but it involves energy healing and a spiritual awakening I never saw coming. That said, healing my inner child’s wounds has changed my life. Self-care is so very important!!

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      1. If you click on my gravatar you’ll see links to both of my blogs. Life Is a Journey is the original, and Remembering My Divinity was created when my life went really woo woo and went down a mystical rabbit hole of healing (and it still going!).

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  14. I love this post from top to bottom – the title, the list, Dan Harris, and all the amazing comments. Brilliant! I love the way you flip the script on how we talk to ourselves and give great examples of how to do it! Yep, you know how to do happy and we are all better for it. And grocery shopping when hungry IS a really bad idea! 🙂 Love you, Vicki!!

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  16. Self care is so important and I like the idea to a Love Me List. Often times we are our own worst critics and a little kindness with ourselves goes a long way indeed!

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  18. Eschew, highfalutin (in whatever form), woo woo— and yahoo! I’m in great company here, with folks who speak my language and dare use such words! Keep ’em coming’ I say, for they doth do my heart good and remind me that I that I am among friends. Oh yeah, I want to mention too that I love this post from my top to my bottom—and that love includes you too, Vicki! 🥰😍

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