Are You Ignoring a Dragon in Your Midst?

Posted on by Endless Weekend

A friend told me that he feels he needs to move to a new job every couple of years or so. Of course I asked him why. He said that he “can’t see things” after two years. He said he that after a couple of years he starts to live in fear that he’s missing something. Something important. He gave me an analogy that after seeing the same desk for two years, he gets so used to seeing what he expects that he doesn’t believe he can see something new. A change. A potentially critical change. That after a couple of years, he doesn’t believe he can do his job as well.

In the context of self-care, my friend’s words reminded me of the Tolkein quote above, from The Hobbit. Is it possible that we are leaving out some live dragons out of our calculations? For my friend, the live dragon at work was being so settled in a routine, that he would not be able to perceive a change. Is it possible that something is missing from our ability to improve our lives because we no longer are able to see a dragon nearby?

Can you tell of what the map to the left is? It may look at a first glance like a map of Middle Earth or Westeros, but it’s not. It’s a map of the oceans of our planet from the point of view of the oceans’ inhabitants. I was going to show it to my friend and ask him if he can think of a way to change his perspective so that he is able to perceive changes, even in an environment he’s grown accustomed to.

It made me wonder how many things in our own personal lives we may be so accustomed to that we don’t see anymore, and if only we did, we could do something about them. We could make a change to make things better in our lives. If we could change the way we see things so we can see those things that we are “blind” to because of our routine, our expectations.

What do you think? What are your methods to get over that expectation bred from routine, of things that can override our ability to sense changes?

53 thoughts on “Are You Ignoring a Dragon in Your Midst?”

  1. Interesting perspective. I think in proof reading my own work, I can get too close to it and miss things. That’s on a smaller scale than what we may miss by getting stuck in a routine. My brain automatically reads what I think I wrote.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. You and me both: I’ve not given up on proof-reading my own work, and I’m sure others do diligently, as well, but in mine I can’t spot my mistakes. And I regularly find typos (sometimes funny ones like six that turned into sex 🤣) in other people’s writing. Maybe my friend is right and it’s easier for us to find dragons in new lands?

      How do we “change” things around so the old is new again?

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. I agree that I can spot typos in other people’s work, but not so much in mine. My tricks to proof my own work is to read it out loud and to read it backwards from the end. How do we change things around so old is new again? I think it’s our perspective. Maybe we can look at things as though we are a first time visitor or a child. Put ourselves in someone’s else shoes.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Yes, reading out loud I can catch typos. I think you have to intentionally look at things as a first-time visitor. Ask yourself, what would I notice first? What jumps out at me?

        Like

  2. What a thought-provoking post. I try to continually break of routines by walking different paths, reading different types of content, and playing devil’s advocate. If our environment can’t or isn’t changing, novelty can be found by taking a new perspective, as you showed us with the ocean map. It may not always be enough to restore our sight, but I’ve found it typically at least alleviates someone of the boredom associated with humdrum routine.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. I feel that reading on a variety of totally unrelated topics helps me see each in a new light or recognize a commonality between them. It often feels as if there’s nothing new to be discovered, but if read and think about disparate article back-to-back, novel ideas are inevitable. For example, my most recently read newsletters: engineering of beaver dams, how to sew French seams, how urban grid cities compromise human intelligence, and how to cure adult diabetes in 56 days. If I were tasked with finding a connection or theme, I bet I could. It’s a silly exercise, but I personally think it promotes brain elasticity.

        As for changing perspective, I often practice constructing arguments that oppose my opinion. I do a deep dive into a topic and try to put myself in another’s shoes. It’s made me more empathetic, but also better able to point our logic fallacies and have good discussions on potentially controversial topics.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think there’s much we do by rote….things that are so ingrained we don’t realize we’re doing them. I’m ok with this…it’s how I get to the gym, brush my teeth and feed my pets. We need tasks that we don’t have to think about. The beauty of this is that it frees us up to think outside the box. I’m way more creative because I have so many habits. When I sit to read a book or watch a movie, my brain gets activated by what I’m seeing/reading. I can read a book,and get numerous blog ideas from what’s on the pages. When I worked I was always coming up with different ways of doing things, sometimes better and sometimes worse but my mind was always thinking about what if. At one job they used to call me YB, for yeah but, because I always had thoughts on what could be done differently. You don’t need to change the environment…change how you think

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. I do agree with you: can you imagine what life would be like if we had to consciously focus on rote tasks like brushing our teeth or chewing? We’d probably be unable to do much of anything else?

      Help me understand: how do you change the way you think?

      (And I think “YB” is a lovely compliment 😁)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. It’s learning to think internally n stead of externally, part of the fomo or grass is always greener complex. When you need to change environments to stimulate yourself or look to people/place/things you are sort of putting the blame on everything but you. Before you buy or change something external, you have to ask yourself if you can look within yourself to switch things up. It’s all about self awareness and seeing what makes one content from the inside.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You have me thinking now (thank you! 🙂 )! Help me understand what you mean about thinking internally vs. externally? It sounds like an important distinction and I don’t want to make assumptions.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Internal is knowing that your self worth and confidence comes from what you know, how you act and what you need to do to get to the next step. It’s personal responsibility for yourself and your actions. External people blame, the equipment, their boss, the stock market, their partner. External people try to compensate what they’re missing by buying things. External people have a lot of envy and jealousy. External people have fear of missing out, and always think if only. Does that make sense?

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you for such a terrific explanation! In my (unplanned…) hiatus from WordPress, I had a chance to read about a thought experience presented by Glaucon: his goal was to press the question of are people satisfied with knowing that they’re doing the right thing or (as he believes) that people will do whatever they can “get away with” without being penalized… Your external vs internal explanation reminded me of it. Thank you, again, for a fantastic explanation!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! That’s a terrific way of doing things. It’s not easy, I’m sure, but the “thing you’re not comfortable with”—that can certainly change one’s perspective to stretch oneself into unfamiliar lands. And the balance… golden! Thank you so much for sharing! Please don’t be shy about more suggestions!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  5. I thoroughly understand the need to change up a monotonus routine. If there is no way to change it up, then I try to swap it out. I despise doing anything by rote. That being said, there is much to be learned by sticking with something, just not beyond its expiration date.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      1. I do it by introducing something completely new into my life, something that disrupts the norm. For example, something as simple as doing my laundry early in the morning – before coffee and breakfast. It gives me time to wake a little and it frees a later part of my day. My morning hours are often ‘vacant’ so I use that time. Then in the afternoon or evening, I have time for something different and new. I also remind myself of Julia Cameron’s suggestions in The Artist’s Way and take myself on artist ‘play dates’. I take close up photos for Instagram or explore antique shops. I seek out a new bakery to enjoy breakfast. Anything different that disrupts my routine.

        Like

  6. I keep coming back to the old saying about what happens you make assumptions. I think of your friend, he’s assuming that things will be better in a new job. They could be worse. I think too of my own life. I try to step back occasionally and study the areas where I jump to conclusions or assumptions. Best to examine them every so often to make sure I’m not missing something good.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. I wasn’t analyzing the issue all that closely. I was just trying to say watch out for assumptions. A different job doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll be able to see things better or eliminate the fear of missing something as he explained to EW. Interesting question

        Liked by 3 people

      2. What he told me he seeks is a different perspective: he feels that in landing a new job with different people, different scope, different responsibilities, there’s so much “newness” so little routine, that he can’t ignore inputs. When it’s the same routine, he feels that small things may creep up on him and become huge before he notices them, or, worse, before something breaks… That’s why I’m so curious about how to change one’s perspective so we DO see those small changes?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. He is looking (I asked 🙃) for “different”, sort of like your rearranging of furniture, Deb. It’s not easy to do, but he keeps his perspective fresh. And, yes, I’m sure sometimes he gets from under a horrible boss 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

    2. That’s a fantastic perspective, Brian! The grass isn’t always greener on that other side!

      My friend shared with me (I asked follow-up questions, of course 🙃) that it’s often difficult for him to switch jobs because he often likes the people he works with, and the job itself. He’s not necessarily looking for a “better” job, but looking to keep his perspective fresh? It’s a pretty high cost for maintaining freshness, so I’m wondering if there’s a less difficult way to do that… What do you think?

      Like

      Reply

  7. I don’t know if there’s a preferred way to function since we are all individuals with strengths and weaknesses that we play to. I do have some routines that help me get things done in a logical way, yet I also like EA’s take on seeing things with new eyes or in a new way.

    I walk a different route every day to mix it up, see what’s changed and where and notice new things. I change my furniture position routinely and depending on where it all lands I have a totally different perspective- sometimes I’m looking out my front window consistently, and other times my couch, and thus my back is turned away towards the wall and my bedroom door.
    I’ve always been like this- needing to see things differently which comes along with my need to question and learn I think.

    I had to chuckle at LA’s comment. I was that person when I worked as well, always suggesting new or different ways to accomplish things. Folks would look totally puzzled and ask “why would we want to change anything?” Well why not? Let’s keep life interesting and fresh, and maybe even a bit better 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. What a magnificent contribution you bring! You remind me of Shaw’s “There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” I think improvement often relies on those who ask, like you, the “why not”! Of course there’s value in asking “why”, but so many forget there’s enormous potential in asking “why not”?

      Why can’t there be a flying machine? Imagine if the Wright Brothers never asked the “why not”…

      I also really like the way you keep your perspective fresh! That’s such a great lesson! How did you come up with it? It’s splendid!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. I can’t say that I “came up with it” at all EW. I cannot think of a time that I haven’t made changes, even those simple furniture movements! As a kid a rearranged things all the time- I would create a Barbie living area with boxes and such then rearrange it. Once I could move bigger things I used to self-arrange my bedroom furniture. I rearrange my closet, my drawers, my bookshelf… which now that I’m writing all that down sounds incredibly odd doesn’t it?? There is a tie in to a need to improve things, to ultimately make things better. Perhaps it was my way and continues to be a hold over to trying to have some control in a chaotic and abusive life as a child?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It sounds very brave to me. Most humans shy away from change and seek routine. I think your spirit of adventure, of curiosity, your sense of wonder shines through. I recently read something about how being able to hold onto that sense of wonder is what keeps folks young at heart.

        I find it admirable.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh, that is so kind! I often feel I’m about 22 inside, but someone needs to tell my gray hair and dark eye circles that little bit of news 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, I’m laughing about your sentence, “Of course I asked him why.” There is no way on the planet that someone could make a statement like that around EW and not get asked a follow up question! 🙂

    Two things jump out at me at the scenario that you present. The first is how to keep things fresh. As LA said so well, we need routine to get things done but we also need to walk new paths like Deb does. What if he literally did another job in the organization for a day? Something on the other side? Or if you are a parent, have a “yes” day?

    Because the second idea is the fear that he can’t do his job well if he stays too long. Does that mean he has to get a new relationship, new kids (if he has them), new home or technology every two years as well? Do we have to be fresh to do well – or is there a benefit from knowing things deeply?

    Love this post, EW!! You always keep us fresh!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. Ahhh- great point Wynne! How far does someone feel the need to take the concept of change and what impact does that have on their life.

      *Geez honey, we’ve lived in Seattle for a few years now so I just sold the house and we’ll be relocated to Virginia by next week for my new job that I didn’t mention. I’m sure you can find something and eventually the kids will adjust!” Perhaps a slight exaggeration but maybe not…

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      2. He is a good family man, happily married for over 20 years, and somewhat loving of routine in many aspects of his life. So it’s a very intriguing question you both are bringing up: why does he feel so differently about his job? What do you guys think?

        Liked by 3 people

      3. Those are his safe spaces and people? Maybe you don’t mess with the deeper things that provide unquestioning security in your life, but changing up what he may consider transient in many ways keeps him motivated and curious?

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m not sure if I should blush or reach out to hug you and be grateful that you know me so well? I’ll do both 😁

      For sure we can’t do everything deliberately. It takes too much energy. I read that that’s why Steve Jobs had a “uniform” of sorts, the black mock turtleneck and jeans: so that he wouldn’t have to spend precious cycles on what he didn’t consider as valuable.

      I love the idea of doing different jobs! Not only to keep things fresh (which is already a great idea), but also because one can learn so much from it! The CEO of Southwest Airlines reportedly did, and had his execs, do every job they were capable of (clearly not a pilot, but yes to janitorial 🤓) to see things from others’ perspective! Two birds? Terrific idea!

      The second point is a great one, and I’ll need to ask him (you come up with such great questions and such a spectacular fresh perspective!). He is happily married for over 20 years with 2 teenagers. There’s definitely a benefit from in-depth knowledge, both of people and of subject matter. I really like how you turned this whole thing on its head. That’s a marvelous way of looking at it and I’m absolute going to follow-up on it.

      Thank you SO VERY MUCH for expanding this to a whole new realm! (And for your kind and generous words, too!)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. A blush and a hug – seems like I’ve elicited all the best responses. 🙂

        The Steve Jobs wardrobe example is a good one. Get some things done by routine so you leave cycles for the rest.

        And it’s so interesting that he’s seemingly constant in the other areas of his life. Maybe he has a restlessness of spirit that changing job feeds? Or some not apparent observation from when he was a child – like his dad got laid off of a job on day 731? Hmmm – can’t wait for the follow-up, EW! 🙂

        Like

  9. “Things change. They always do, it’s one of the things of nature. Most people are afraid of change, but if you look at it as something you can always count on, then it can be a comfort.” ~ Clint Eastwood. I am in total agreement with Eastwood!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That’s an intriguing quote (new to me, too!) and I agree that most people are, consciously or unconsciously, afraid of change. What of the fear my friend expressed of not noticing new things because he’d be so used to things being a certain way? How does one maintain that “fresh perspective”, do you think?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  10. The world moves with astonishing speed. A Ford Foundation study reported that the average 16th century man encountered less information in his lifetime than can be found in a single daily addition of the NY Times. As has been said by you, Endless Weekend, break the routine. As Kafka write (just to begin) think of a book “like an ax to break the frozen sea within you,” meaning many or all of us.

    From that perspective the problem is not the job but the unmoving sea and whatever reason the individual is stuck there.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. That’s a TERRIFIC quote: I love books myself, and am in the process of reading one that is changing my way of thinking about some things. Thank you for sharing!

      It’s a good question you’re asking!

      What I’m not sure how to address is how to maintain a fresh perspective after a long while of experiencing the same perspective: if you process the same requests day in and day out, and they change very slightly over a long period of time, would you notice the difference? A person coming in and seeing things for the first time may have a “fresh perspective”: how does the “old timer” maintain the same perspective? What do you think?

      Like

      Reply

      1. You are welcome. For myself, I have been asking questions about the world since childhood. I worked summer jobs as a teen that were mind numbing. Changing jobs makes sense for lots of reasons, but seeking those that demand questioning would be one way of staying alive to the world.

        If each job continues to be dull, perhaps the chooser is the one who is taking the dull road, repeating a pattern that some others avoid.

        I could be wrong, but I wonder if the answer is internal.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s an extremely intriguing question: is there anything at all, from a freshly baked brownie to seeing the magnificence and majesty of nature, that would not get dull if done repeatedly?

        I’ve eaten more brownies than I’d care to admit to, and I have one waiting for me after dinner tonight, and am still filled with enjoyment as I eat every one. But we keep the portions small. I don’t find that I get twice the enjoyment out of a brownie twice as big…

        What do you think?

        Liked by 2 people

      3. We are built to adapt to even wonderful things. If the thrill of sex didn’t fade, we wouldn’t return to it again and again. Mankind exists because the thrill didn’t last and had to be repeated. Without that, you and I wouldn’t be writing now.

        Like

  11. That map is fascinating. It’s all about perspective isn’t it. I think this is why it’s important to always test our biases because we do get so accustomed to things and routines and a set way of thinking. Good post!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  13. Oh my goodness. I’m late to the party, EW and I’m sorry about that but boy, reading the comments has been fun! Capped off by Ally’s bumper sticker?! Wowza. So good! With ketchup! Hilarious. I think you’ve asked some terrific questions…great mulling and pondering fodder. I see how easily I can fall into a rut with too much routine, becoming less aware, and if I’m not careful, routines become too comfy. Shaking things up usually propels me into some ‘new learning’ scenario — often facing some sort of fear. Dragons, maybe? I hadn’t thought about it that way, but your post was provocative – as every delightful EW post is! Thank you! 😉

    Like

    Reply
  14. Pingback: Well Said Saturdays – July 15 – The Heart of the Matter
  16. Pingback: July’s Greatest Hits – The Heart of the Matter

Leave a comment