Shall We Play a Game?

Posted on by Victoria

Yep.  I’m talking about the famous line from the 1983 film “War Games”.

If you’re old enough to remember, the film “War Games” had seismic appeal to nerdy types of all sorts.  Me?  I was a newly married bookworm, wed to my lovable geek of an inventor husband.  Yep – we married when we were tots and I tolerated all of his nutty professor nonsense for years and years.  And then he actually invented something which made it much harder for me to complain about every flat surface in our condo being a ‘workbench’.  Glass table?  Yep.  Kitchen counters?  Of course.  In a pinch, the wood parquet floor by the front door would suffice.  Hubster’s creative inspiration was stoked by his love of electronics and computers…antiquities now.  The stuff that we giggle about because “technology” 1983-style reminds us both of covered wagon days (in our ancestral memories, anyhow). 

Wowza.  I’m digressing already.  Apologies.  I intended only to explain my love of the “War Games” quote because it brings back fun movie memories AND because it seems a suitable opener for some silliness that I’d like to share with you.  Let me come at this again:

Shall we play a game?

You were thinking this would unfold into a story about a movie, computers, or inventions. Nope. I’ve got furniture on my mind and a bizarre encounter with a salesperson.  Your job, my hearty readers, is to decide RIGHT NOW if you want to proceed.  Why?  Because there’s a quiz at the end.  I’m going to paint the picture of a weird encounter…a head-scratcher that’s still causing us to shake our noggins and mutter “what happened?”.  With your help, we might be able to answer that question.  But you’ve got to take a trip with me first.

All aboard?

Our remodeling efforts are winding down and we began the search for a new sofa.  Have you reached the stage in life where decisions about seating are more medical/therapeutic than aesthetic?  We debated sectional vs. sofa.  Reclining options or relying on ottomans.  The non-negotiable?  We need to elevate our tootsies, one way or another.  By the end of the day, our dogs are barking.  Hubs because of his circulation issues and me because of my weird Haglund’s Deformity (look it up – it’s a big honking protrusion on my heel…too many years of wearing my beloved western boots).

The hunt…

Off we went – in several forays to local furniture stores.  We looked online, too, but hubs declared his posterior needed down-filled cushions – just like the sofa I gave away (because it was worn to shreds) and ‘sit tests’ would be required.  He hasn’t recovered from my betrayal, sofa-style, btw.  Giving away his old trusty couch last year puts me at a disadvantage in the ‘war games-as-furniture-shopping’ gambit.

Dollar signs dancing in my head, we played prince and the pea as he butt-tested sofas at several stores.  Smart salespersons should flee when we enter.  Hubs with his trademark stoic face and me with my eyes scanning the showroom. No eye contact.  We don’t look very approachable.  I try to give off the vibe – sunglasses still on – that we’re not interested in chit chat. This is business…all business.  Please just let us browse.  Well, that and sit-test a few models.  Like Sheldon from “Big Bang Theory”, hubs will know ‘the one’ when his posterior meets it.

Despite our efforts to scare away salespersons, one dude approaches.  We learn his name is Roger and he seemed affable enough.  I explain what we’re looking for and plainly state we’ll know it when we see it/sit in it and try to shoo him away.  He catches my drift – a bit – and points us in the direction of the down-filled sofas, so we head there…but he follows us. Drat.

Before we know it, we spend forty-five minutes with our new friend Roger, learning:

  • He’s a former yacht owner who sold yachts “for years” until the bubble burst (2008, I wonder?) and he divorced his first wife and moved from Lake of the Ozarks (yacht country?) to the Midwest.
  • Roger’s floral tie, faded Levi’s and leather vest suggest he’s a bon vivant, a stylish dresser and as if he read my thoughts, he mentions – all while showing us leather choices – that his new wife (the painter) selected his outfit for him that day AND she hand painted his tie.  “She’s an artiste”, he says. And then he asks about my sunglasses.  “Are those Gucci or Dolce?”  I don’t answer.  What the heck?
  • Adjusting his tie and hiking up his jeans, he shares he worked on a big custom order for a locally famous person.  We nod, tolerating his chatter only because he DID point us to the type of sofas we were interested in and hubs, as he’s ignoring Roger’s drivel, scooches his butt into a contender.  A sofa with just enough cush for his tender tush.
  • Roger notices the vague smile on the hubster’s face and figures he’s got a hot one.  He fetches a clipboard and asks for our contact info because he’s got leather samples to share with us and a couple of configurations of sofa/chaise combos that we might like.  Repeatedly he says, “I got you, I got you.  I see what you’re looking for now” as he jots down notes.
  • We provide our details and Roger promises to contact us about the options we’re interested in.  We spent 45 minutes with him, which felt like an investment, considering we didn’t want to talk to anyone.  We just wanted to see and sit.  But maybe he can help, so hubs and I are polite as we say goodbye to Roger as he enthusiastically promises, again, that he’ll be in touch soon.

Three weeks later? 

We found a sofa that we love (no thanks to Roger) and it’s been delivered.  A floor sample from another store fit all the criteria.  Who needed Roger?  I feel angry because we tolerated his schtick, thinking we needed to make nice to figure out what we wanted.  Turned out, we found a much nicer salesperson elsewhere who didn’t feel compelled to share her life story with us and we got a good deal.  Which brings us back to Roger, who still has not followed up, as promised.  Hubs and I don’t care, because in the rewind, our encounter with Roger feels like a bad date.  Relieved he never called.

Mulling over the experience with Roger the Odd, we arrived at five possible explanations for his failure to contact us.  Here’s the game (I know, I took the long way to get here).  Which of these explanations seems most plausible to you?  I’ll tally the votes and let you know the prevailing wisdom.  Blogging friends know everything, don’t they?

Roger the Odd Didn’t Follow-Up Because:

  1. The yacht business in the Ozarks picked up again and he fled to re-open his business.  He heard a rumor that Jason Bateman was scouting locations for an “Ozark” spin-off about smuggling furniture. Roger wants a role!
  2. In a tragic twist, Roger was accidentally shrink wrapped and shipped out to sea in a freakish furniture cargo incident.
  3. His second wife, the ‘artiste’ sold a ton of floral ties at a craft fair, enough for them to embark on an endless vacation.
  4. Embarrassed by his boisterous oversharing about his peace, love and pot ‘hippie days’ in the 60’s while making nice with us, he feared his coworkers overheard and fled the showroom, never to return again.
  5. Roger the prankster wasn’t an employee at the store at all.  He just dressed up and knew how to wrangle leather samples and a clipboard, impersonating a bad salesperson so well…his performance was Oscar-worthy.

We’re still flummoxed but the giggling and wondering, while sitting on our comfy new sofa has become an after dinner parlor game around here.  Please join us by sharing your thoughts.

-Vicki 😉

P.S. “War Games” isn’t my only favorite retro film.  I’m learning that vintage entertainment from my younger days helps to bolster joy.  My post on Victoria Ponders today is a quick peek at one method I use to protect the potential for joy. 

76 thoughts on “Shall We Play a Game?”

  1. Pingback: Protecting the Potential for Joy – Victoria Ponders

  2. He was strangled to death when the copy machine grabbed him by the artsy tie and sucked him inside itself while he was trying to change the ink cartridge so that he could make a copy of his findings to send to you. Poor Roger the Odd. Died in his service to you. May he rest in peace.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  3. You know I had an answer ready to go before I even finished reading the question, and even though I love nothing better than to leave a comment nearly as long as the post, I can say without hesitation, it’s your #1. Odd Roger is back in the Ozarks perfecting his patter and rehearsing his lines

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  4. I’m going with option 2 … and I have to say, as a Brit who moved to the US a number of years ago, I am still horrified and try to desperately avoid the very chatty salespeople here. I once had a cashier describe in detail her kidney issues; I just don’t know what to do in those situations. I’m glad you found a sofa though — all good in the end!

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

    1. Hello, Molly — so nice to meet you! Yes…chatty salespeople. We know they’re trying to make a living but goodness. Kidney issues, eh? Thanks for reading and commiserating with me. And I enjoyed your ‘all good in the end’ quip! The hubster’s tush is very happy on the new sofa. 😉

      Like

      Reply

    3. That’s funny, Molly. We have some delightful new neighbors that are Brits and they can say anything and make it sound charming. I bet you could say “Buzz off” to the sales people in your thickest accent and they’ll love it!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  5. This story is hilarious! We had to buy new furniture 2 years ago and had similar experiences. First- the testing. That’s was super important to me. Plus I like to sleep on the couch regularly (the TV is better in the living room and once I fall asleep in front of it- I just stay out until dawn) so I wore slip-on/kick off shows so I could lay on the couches and make sure I could fit and that they were comfortable. My wife sort of pretended she didn’t know me.😬 And the salespeople? Super annoying no matter how uncooperative and uninterested we tried to seem.
    As for Roger- I’m going with #1 😁😁

    Liked by 7 people

    Reply

    1. Oh wowza. Yep…I’m with your dear wife…I’d be ignoring you, too! Shoes off? Curled up on a sofa in the showroom? I mean…I get it…but (or butt)? You’re too funny! And thanks for giggling along with me about #1. I think Roger was a show-boater…looking for his big showbiz break and selling to us…would achieve nothing in that regard. LOL! 🤣

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    1. I’m with you, Belle. That was the theory that made the hubster snort out loud…because it seemed the most plausible? I hope you have a great day…thank you for playing along. xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. I have to go with #2 as it made me snort-LOL! Why are there almost always *Rogers* in places that you just want peace and the opportunity to think for yourself without interference. I’ve been looking ahead, knowing that before too long I am going to have to think about couch shopping and it pains me even more than my already aching back and neck. Been spending time on Wayfair and Overstock trying to visualize angles and such from non-dimensional pictures on a screen in hopes to avoid Roger, or Pam, or even worse Stan…because you know Stan the MAN would be ever so helpful until he wasn’t 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. LOL! Thank you for understanding how painful the encounter was, Deb. I know Roger meant well…or at least I think so…but it was a chore to deal with him! And good luck to you as you browse online. I did that til I was bleary-eyed several nights in a row, trying to figure it all out and the family made fun of me for laying out dimensions on the floor with tape measures because I needed to “see it”. And thanks for giggling about theory #2! Shrink wrapping for the win (and thanks for letting me know it made you snort — I love that!). 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. IDK Vicki- my cynic level of 39 says to doubt the helpfulness of Roger. 3 weeks- no follow-up really doesn’t score points for me on the helper scale 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Stan the man – I’m giggling. If you go to showroom, Deb, we’ve got your back. I’ll lead Mr. D and Miss O in with dirty and greasy hands and then we’ll have all the salespeople chasing us while you try things out in peace…

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      1. 2nd great laugh of the morning Wynne! That is a true friend indeed who will enlist her children in shenanigans to help out a couch shopper 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  9. What a fun post, Vicki! “Enough cush for his tush” – now there’s a great line! Can option #6 be that Roger just showed up to be written about on this blog? If I’m choosing from the other options, I’m going #2. But I also want to know how far you’ll really go for this blog – will you go back (maybe in disguise) to see if you can catch a glimpse of Roger? 🙂 So glad you found a good one – and hopefully that puts you back in hubster’s good graces. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Hilarious! Yes…I could disguise myself with new sunglasses (it was so weird that he was fixated on those!) and keep the investigation “open”. AND… I LOVE your #6. Yes…’eager for infamy in any way he could get it, Roger sought limelight in a Heart of the Matter post to give him star power’. Do not encourage me! Let’s go with shrink-wrapped Roger. LOL! 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    2. Does that mean, in a strange multi-verse sort of way, that Roger could also show up on other blogs…like those belonging to anyone who comments on this post? I think logically we need to be prepared for that to happen 😉

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      1. I’m sorry…you’re killing me over here, Deb. Good thing I closed my mouth before I began laughing…spit-take all over my keyboard (nearly). Yes…Roger’s in the multi-verse. Wynne – don’t you agree? We should be on the look-out…upgrade our spam blockers to “Roger blockers”. Oh, Deb…you’re too funny!

        Liked by 2 people

  10. Lots of good stuff in this post. First, I’ve never seen War Games, but it supposedly takes place in my high school — Snohomish High. However, I looked it up and it was filmed in El Segundo, CA at a different high school pretending to be mine. When we moved to Arizona, we shopped and sat and found a sofa that was comfortable for our behinds. This was 2020 with supply chain issues. We selected the leather and ordered it. It took five months to arrive and was hard as nails. I asked the assembly guys and they said the samples in the store are softer because they’ve been sat in by hundreds of people. As for Roger? No words!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Oh my goodness. Such a feast – your comments! Never seen War Games even though it’s fictionally depicted in your own high school! That’s amazing. And I’m chuckling heartily about the ‘hard as nails’ sofa. That’s precisely what the hubs was worried about and why we had to sit-test so many options. I think we figured out the down cushions were key…no thanks to Roger. 🤣 If you get around to watching War Games, I’ll be curious to hear if they got anything right about mentions of the school or location shots. I’ll need to watch it again to pay attention to those parts! xo!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      2. Hehe … maybe that’s another option. He’s going round in circles in the middle of the Atlantic or (b) those whales I wrote about broke the rudder on his boat and he’s stuck in the middle of the Atlantic

        Liked by 1 person

  12. While my gut choice was not listed, it’s also waaaaay more boring than your options! Of these options, my gut goes with #1. He’s out there searching for Bateman! (Also: “butt-testing” is maybe the most giggle-inspiring word I’ve read in ages. Also also: The inventor’s space-sprawl you describe? It’s like that with one of my youngsters, who does indeed show a creative hankering! I’m contemplating what this might mean for how I approach the sprawl …)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Hey, Deborah! Thanks for chuckling with/at me. My honest-to-goodness first thought was that Roger wrote down our contact info (email and phone numbers) incorrectly…and then I thought…all three? Two cell numbers and my email? I love that you love option #1. I adore Jason Bateman, so I’d probably want to do that, too if the opportunity presented, LOL. And wowza…best of luck with the young inventor in your life. You have to admire the ingenuity but good grief…they know not what messes they create!
      Hope you’re having a great Sunday. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. Oh, this is so much fun! I have chosen # 3 because after “his second wife, the ‘artiste’ sold a ton of floral ties at a craft fair,” her tie line was pick up by luxury tie designers Tom Ford, Brioni, and Gucci and yes, they now have abundant wealth and “enough for them to embark on an endless vacation.”!!!!! Enjoy your down-filled cushions – they really are the best!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  14. Since I am one of those guys who can’t tolerate spending much time in furniture stores or anything having to do with planning a wedding (aka “wedding talk”), I am probably the least capable of adding anything to the conversation. Except perhaps, Vicki, I am quite impressed with your husband!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oh…he’ll love hearing that. 😉 He’s a keeper…that’s for sure. And you’re right…wedding planning, furniture (and car) buying. They’re tests, aren’t they?

      Like

      Reply

  15. It seems like the culture is quite different over here and I’d have left the store. To be honest, I’m not too sure what to make of Roger, he just sounds bizarre

    I do hope your sofa is as comfy as it sounds.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I think you are wise! There’s a little too much familiarity sometimes. Bizarre is a good word to describe Roger. And yes…two out of two people surveyed at the moment (me and hubs) think the sofa is cushy. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      6. Thats what we’re thinking. A few years ago I taught business planning to furniture restauration students. We got talking and was told our furniture (based on age and manufacturer) was much more solid than anything built today – so suspect that’s what we’ll do

        Liked by 1 person

      7. That’s always the best choice in my book — preserving and sprucing up well-made pieces. How fun that you have former students to reach out to for help! 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m sure you figured it out: “In a tragic twist, Roger was accidentally shrink wrapped and shipped out to sea in a freakish furniture cargo incident.” THAT can be the only explanation. Great story

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks, Ally! I know you’ve survived remodeling woes…I just didn’t figure the furniture part would be so tedious. Thanks for sharing your vote for ‘shrink wrapped Roger’. xo to you this morning! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  17. I’d venture to say that few movies are as dated today as “War Games.” That one and “Red Dawn” convinced me that the world was going to end before I ever had a chance to graduate from high school.

    Roger was clearly a glitch in the matrix. He never really existed at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I like that…Roger was the lead character in an illusion…a bad dream. And you’re right…those movies are SO old they are ultra camp-y and funny…when they don’t intend to be! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. Pingback: Well Said Saturdays – August 12 – The Heart of the Matter

Leave a comment