Curiosity and Change Over the Lifespan

Posted on by Deb

Fair warning- this is a rather meandering post today, more thoughts than an actual point, but it seems appropriate for the rainy day I see outside my window. Just some simple musing on our topic of curiosity so I hope you will add your thoughts in the comments.

Curiosity is…

Curiosity is a gift that opens our world to possibility and lifts humans into realms of knowledge, wonder and imagination. I wrote a simple story about curiosity and imagination on my personal blog this morning. The example used there was given to highlight that a curious and imaginative mind may also help to calm, defer and create a sense of safety even in the midst of being vulnerable, especially from a child’s perspective.

Curiosity also clearly sparks and empowers creativity as we gain more knowledge, allow those thoughts and ideas to turn into action and then become tangible, visible expressions of all those things that rattle around in our heads. 

Curiosity allows our own self-awareness to expand regarding world views, our place and meaning and our beliefs, giving us the opportunity to choose how we act with, or alongside others who may have different beliefs and viewpoints.

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When I walk everyday, my goal is to simply experience what is around me and empty my head of thought. Rarely is there a purpose during this time. When I let go I can be curious about my world. My mind wanders depending on what I see or hear or smell. All my senses are able to be engaged. As I walked a few days ago I noticed an ebb and flow to the things that piqued my curiosity. That made me wonder about curiosity in general and how it changes daily, yearly…even over our lifespan.

Curious growth…

As a child I spent a lot of time in my head, letting my curiosity and imagination take me to the places I would read about in books. I devoured books like candy but they were an escape mechanism, a safety net allowing me to live outside myself and the real world that didn’t feel good or safe or happy.

On that walk I passed by the highschool and watched teens intent on their phones while wondering how technology has impacted their curiosity when information is available 24/7. It’s that instant gratification thing, not something I had as a teen. Books continued to be integral in my life, but the focus at that point in life was much more on knowledge rather than escape.

In my adulthood, curiosity has served both as a way to explore a knowledge base about different topics based on life circumstances, but when truly needed, also as a means of escape, reflection, and reinforcement. I certainly have more knowledge about the world now and about life in general. About myself, my beliefs, about the people who surround me, both known and strangers. While I may reflect I do not find as much need to question the same things that I did at 25, or even at 45. My focus at 64 has shifted to what matters most to me at this time in my life: my health, my finances, my cognitive abilities, the well-being of my family, our earth and my place as an impactful human. I wasn’t very curious about any of those things even 20 years ago. 

While curiosity will always exist to feed my need for answers, I would find it odd to still be seeking information about pregnancy and raising children like I did in my 20’s. It’s been clear for some time that I don’t need to focus on Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) accreditation and learning to read really interesting but confusing ECG heart rhythms to excel at my job. Thankfully I could leave behind all the trappings of navigating the divorce process 6 years ago and haven’t given a second thought to the in depth study required to complete pages of legal forms since that time. That leads me to conclude, at least in my personal world, that curiosity and a quest for knowledge absolutely ebbs and flows throughout life as well as changes in purpose to focus on what matters at any given point along our journey.

I am still massively curious about any number of things, but I also have a freedom that comes with “already knowing stuff” and I like that. I can tailor my curiosity to what matters to me now, or just sit quietly and stare out the window at the rain if I choose- until the sky starts to clear and I feel a curious compulsion to pull out my new Cloud Collector’s Handbook and learn about the clouds overhead.

“This is what Learning is. You suddenly understand something you have understood all your life, but in a new way”

Doris Lessing

36 thoughts on “Curiosity and Change Over the Lifespan”

  2. As you mentioned, what we’re curious about changes over the years depending on our circumstances but our curiosity means we’re still eager to learn. Over my life, I’ve become knowledgeable about many places in the world, and other interesting topics as well as lung cancer (ugh) and heart failure (double ugh).John and I are both curious people; it’s an attractive quality in a partner. Except that now I know lots about crabbing and don’t really want to.

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    1. LOL!!! That I believe is the true purpose of John in your life- the unspoken challenge of keeping you guessing and trying to figure him out. He is truly there to keep your curiosity piqued and engaged. Sort of an odd existential learning journey for aging I suppose without mind altering substances to enhance the experience…although those may come in handy at some point depending on what his next hobby is 😉

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  3. I love the observation that curiosity ebbs and flows in relation to our circumstances – personal goals, career, etc. It’s so obvious, but I never thought about it in such plain terms. And I feel the secondhand joy of you freedom to tailor your curiosity to what matters to you now! I suppose we all have some autonomy there, but to be retired without anyone depending on you sounds like being a kid at a carnival, where your curiosity can run wild. 😊

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    1. Well I love that take on retirement Erin- the wild and crazy freedom to run amok or bounce off the walls of curious engagement with abandon as a kid might on a sugar high!

      I have begun to understand why, as folks retire and age, they lean toward travel so much- if they have the means to do that of course. How eye-opening and mind expanding is it to see places and people and ways of life different from your own. Really though, just having time to expand in any direction that curiosity leads is joyful when you have fewer adult responsibilities hanging like weights 😉

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    1. Thanks Brian. And I love your use of the word “refined”! Excellent, mature way to look at and claim the wisdom we have grown into as we age, but also the capacity we have to focus on what truly makes us ask why at each new and different point in our lives! I quite like having that “refined” quality about myself 🙂

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  5. A couple of thoughts on your interesting post, Deb. First, that if one is curious and free it is difficult to get bored. Second, those looking down at their phones as they walk are missing the world and the people in it. A shame.

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    1. “Curious and free…” I like that combination Dr. Stein! The possibilities to explore are endless but only if we are also willing to engage. It is a shame that so many do not and are missing out on the value of seeking, asking and just being aware.

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  6. I love this reflection on curiosity, Deb. Especially the tie you’ve made to safety, “curious and imaginative mind may also help to calm, defer and create a sense of safety even in the midst of being vulnerable, especially from a child’s perspective.”

    I hadn’t thought of that but of course that makes sense – one of the only things a kid can control.

    Love your curiosity and writing, Deb!

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    1. Thank you Wynne! It was interesting to read up a bit on why children create imaginary friends and of course levels of trauma played into the reasons while giving kids that outlet to try out life in a safe way. That resonated with me, as well as simply knowing it was okay to have a friend who didn’t judge my crazy family!

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  7. I love your point about books as a means to escape and explore. And this: …”a safety net allowing me to live outside myself and the real world that didn’t feel good or safe or happy.” Resonates with me, Deb! Thank you so much. 🥰

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    1. Thanks Vicki! I think many people can relate to what a book can provide depending on where one is in their life. I knew that the spoken word, especially from my mom, had huge impacts but turning to a book allowed me to imagine what life might have been like as well as the real possibility that I might find a better place someday.

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    1. Thank you Brenda! Glad you feel the same. I think it’s important not to limit ourselves at all. There are so many possibilities out there so why not explore when something comes our way. It may work…or not, but it always seems fun trying I think 🙂

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    1. Exactly EA! Glad you could see that. I can’t imagine ever not being curious about the world or what I see around me, although perhaps some get complacent?? Curiosity seems to mature right along with us but that doesn’t mean we can’t stay open to all that there is out there 🙂

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  10. Curiosity is a gift and an open mind to learn is a blessing. I like that you have mechanisms in place to open your mind for learning such as your morning walks. I too find the quiet early morning walks to my bus stop a good time to just clear my head. I agree that it’s to see the young kids on their phones and what that must do to the wiring of their brains and curiousity.

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    1. Walking is good both for some exercise but also for letting stuff go I think, at least for me Ab, although if I was focused on getting to my bus maybe not completely a time without thought 😉

      I really wonder what the future is going to be like as tech advances. In a dystopian world I have this image of a big vial of knowledge just being poured directly into someone’s head. That’s a bit “out there” for sure, but I think you get my drift…

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  11. “Curiosity allows our own self-awareness to expand… giving us the opportunity to choose how we act….” I agree wholeheartedly but also realize it is the very fact that people who don’t want to change use to criticize those of us who are curious. How dare you be curious and change who you are?!!

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    1. Ah yes Ally Bean, humans can be very clever at using our words against us especially if they have different viewpoints… I was having this very conversation with my oldest when she visited lately regarding a specific person who fears change so deeply and then attempts to transfer that fear to others. Sadly reason, openness, and civil discussion has been proven to be out of the question. I was warning her to prepare for fireworks in the future as I am simply tired of standing by in silence. Outside Control of my curiosity and hunger for knowledge is not acceptable 🙂

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    1. I always thought that I should have joined debate in high school, although then I might not have appreciated the concept of logical arguments. Now endlessly asking why, listening to and presenting persuasive arguments…sounds like fun to me 🙂

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      2. I was scared to speak in front of people up until nearly 25 years until I was impromptu called up to speak in front of a 100 people tech audience . Ofcourse I stuttered. Scarred I was off the stage. Then it took me a good 5 -7 years to talk to the media.. another 5 to handle almost any discussion including modulation of voice and silence as an answer. Still struggle with the latter.

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