An angel when I needed it most

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

The thing I noticed first was his calmness. He wasn’t like the other teachers, coaches, or family friends in my life. He had a soft voice that you sometimes had to strain to hear and he rarely seemed to yell or scold.

Within five minutes of his class starting on the first day, he gave my classmates and me each a folder and magic marker and told us to write our names — last name first, first name last — in the lefthand corner of the folder. Of course, I messed up right away, writing out my name the standard fashion. I wanted to cry. When he saw what I had done, he took my folder and said that it wasn’t a problem. In fact, he told me not to worry about it, he had changed his mind and wanted to do something else.

I remember being shocked that I wasn’t in trouble. I didn’t know how to respond. 

The other thing that stood out about him was his positive attitude and excitement about learning. No problem was too big and he wanted to make the school day fun. If we were going to learn about the Mayan Civilization or the rise of Mesopotamia then by God we were going to get up out of our seats and have fun with it and see it and feel it for ourselves. He wasn’t big on just following a book. We would create our own early civilization and figure things out like the Mayans.

If we were talking about Math, then he would get into teams and make it a game, not only up on the board, where we had to show our work, but using incentives to get the correct answer and the chance to throw a nerf ball into a large waste basket that stood up in the middle of the room. We rarely stood seated in our chairs for long. He wanted to make learning fun.

Having a heart

Yes, the teacher’s name was Mr. Guss and his crazy antics came at the exact right time for me. A few weeks before I went off to sixth grade, I watched as my father had a major heart attack in front of my brothers and myself. He started convulsing and frothing at the mouth one summer day when he took a nap on our couch and would have died if my two older brothers had not acted quickly and called for an ambulance (no dialing 911 back then). 

When my father was released from the hospital, he was still picking up the pieces and I was nowhere ready to start school. I was an 11 year-old mess. Something had changed in me. I felt small and anxious. I was bothered easily and probably a little shell-shocked and depressed. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, something worse to happen. I wanted to do well and didn’t care about anything all at the same time. Of course, I didn’t have a lot of resources at my disposal to help me through my problems. My mother was struggling to keep us together and my my brothers had their own worries and concerns.

Making a difference

Looking back now I see where I was ready to give up, but something happened. Mr. Guss, seemed to be the one person who got it and got me. I have no idea if he knew about my home situation, I want to say yes, but I have no idea how he would’ve found out. I know I wasn’t telling anyone, but he sure acted like he did. He made me laugh and kept me at ease. He praised my work and encouraged me to do better. He helped me to develop a love of learning and to trust again. He made me want to do great things. 

Yes, my life at home was still tumultuous, but he was the right person in my life at the right time. 

We’re writing this month on The Heart of the Matter about gratitude and appreciation. When I think about the people, places, and things that I most appreciate in my life, many different images flash across my mind. My wife and kids are tops on that list. I think how they make me happy and fulfill my life.

I think too of my parents and friends and family members. Forty-plus years later, though, I find that I often think about a tall, skinny teacher who I had just one of year of my life. Oh, we wrote back and forth for awhile, but he was in my life and then gone like that.

A lasting impression

People come and go in our lives for millions of different reasons and have a huge impact on us. Sometimes we recognize that imprint right away. We know they’ve helped us for the better. Other times, it takes years for us to recognize it for ourselves and it’s only when we step away that we get to see the difference they made.

Mr. Guss helped me through one of the most challenging times in my life. As I’ve gotten older, I find that I think often about people like him and try to be deliberate in reaching out and thanking those who’ve made a difference.

We all have a Mr. Guss in our life.

When I’ve been able to get in contact with the positive influences on my life, it’s been a heartwarming experience, if nothing more than to remind myself and others around me, that angels and good people still exist.

Thank you Mr. Guss!

Who has been a big influence in your life? How were they able to help you?

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Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read my companion piece. In addition, you can follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

Images by Pexels.

45 thoughts on “An angel when I needed it most”

  1. As I look back on my career, I think of how the great (and not-so-great) leaders have influenced my life. One of the most memorable was one who I worked for in the mid 90’s. He was tough, but fair, and really pushed me outside my comfort zone. I often wonder how my career would have been different without him.

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    1. You bring up a great point Michelle!!! I was just thinking today about an old boss that I had that lacked communication skills. I learned by his actions how much valuable it is to build trust and cooperation with people. His bad example help to remind me now to be better than that! Ha ha. Thanks so much for sharing! 😎😎😎😊

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  2. I love this observation and find it to be true for me, Brian, about the goodness of support and encouragement: “Sometimes we recognize that imprint right away. We know they’ve helped us for the better. Other times, it takes years for us to recognize it…”
    In the looking back I often see richness and kindness that I didn’t fully absorb but benefited — in the moment. Mr. Guss was a hero in that way…look at you… writing about him now! 🥰

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  3. Pingback: My guardian angel – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  4. A fine tribute to a fine man, Brian. I know a little bit about heart attacks and fathers. My dad had two just after I entered 7th grade, in the same year my mother was being treated for TB. He was hospitalized for six weeks. Both lived into their 80s, but the ball was in the air during the year in question. I’m glad you had someone to help you through.

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    1. Wow, Gerald! What a story, what an experience! I got to imagine a ton of stress and worry fell to you. I’ve always been described as “mature for my age” — I’m sure a part of that was having to deal with adult conversations and decisions. I hope you had some help, someone checking up on you. Thank you for sharing, definitely helps me, even now, to be seen! 😊😊😊

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      1. Well, it was actually more complicated. I had been double promoted at the end of the first half of 6th grade and began with the older group in September, two months before my dad got sick. Pretty destabilizing, as you can imagine, and no mentors in sight. As I mentioned, everyone survived and I got through it. Thanks for asking.

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  5. Great story Brian! My version of Mr. Gus might be a pastor at a church. I went to during college. He had enough confidence in me to put me in charge of several programs. He did not micromanage and just left me work on my own, mistakes or not. It was an important period of my life as I figured out what to do/not do. But in the end, it was a giant period of personal and professional growth and things overall worked out pretty well.

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    1. It’s always pretty cool when people do that …. When they trust, when they see the possibilities inside of you and let you grow and flourish. Amazing when it happens. Have you written about your version of Mr. Guss Todd? Sounds like an interesting story!!! What mistakes is you make? How did he let go?

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  8. So glad you had someone who saw you as more than just another kid, but as an individual with unique needs. Maybe he knew about your situation, or maybe he just sensed something powerful was happening in your life. Either way, he was a fantastic teacher.

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  9. I’m so touched by the steadiness Mr. Guss offered. To imagine how tumultuous home must have been and then the beautiful calmness at school – absolutely amazing. As I was reading about how he taught, I thought about how much work that must have been for him but such a great way to teach and learn. Thank you for this beautiful post that reminds me of all the calm and steadying forces in our lives when it’s most needed! ❤

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    1. It was a crazy time. It’s been years so obviously the memories have faded, but what’s strange is how strong the feelings are inside of me. The feeling of relief over the folder feels like that happened this morning! I gotta imagine that was incredible work for him. The calmness he had … I’m amazed by that, knowing everything I know now as an adult! 😎😎😎

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  10. I was too young when my father died to realize that I needed a Mr. Guss, but I sure could have used him later, once I figured out that I had a problem. What an incredible blessing to have someone who ‘gets’ it, even if they have no idea what they’re ‘getting’! How wonderful that Mr. Guss appeared as an angel in your life when you needed one the most.

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  11. Lovely story Brian, and illustrates how the right people will show up just when we need them. I too had my own “Mr. Guss”! A few actually but one who stands out above others and who I still think of with lots of gratitude even now.

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  12. I cannot believe the horror you and your brother’s experienced witnessing your dad’s heart attack. What a difficult time in your life. It’s so nice you had an understanding teacher in your life at that time to keep some balance.

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    1. Yea, it left a mark. I’ve written about it a couple of times. It changed my father’s life. We weren’t rich before the heart attack, but it definitely hurt going forward. It scared me too. It made me anxious. I suspect it’s where I got some of my perfectionism too (long story.) The lack of control was the biggest thing – not being able to help him.🙂🙂

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  13. This is beautiful, Brian. I’ve had people like this in my life, but what your story brings to mind is something my mom shares. She had just moved across the country with her parents to a retirement community at age 10 (she was the baby); her father soon after died of a heart attack and her grief-stricken mother turned to alcohol. An elderly neighbor invited my mom over often, and the mail delivery woman would stop and chat each evening. They looked out for that sad and lonely little girl and were her guardian angels. I now always try to look out for opportunities to offer similar to others… small gifts when they are most needed.

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  14. This has been true for me over and over. When I’ve needed a friend, one always appears. Thanks for sharing the goodness of Mr. Guss. I’ve been that teacher who has students write their names, last first on the folder. You’re not alone in writing yours as usual. I only hope I showed the same type of grace.

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    1. Oh, it’s gotta be such a tough job to be a teacher Crystal, I don’t envy your challenge. But, I hope you get to see the benefits! I think the shame of it for many teachers that I know is yhat they see the impact they have, but they naturally discount or downplay their actions. It was a silly mistake on my part (the folder), but when I see his smile in mind, it’s amazing the relief that comes over me. It’s like the weight of the world has lifted. And it’s been 40-plus-plus years ago. You used the word grace. I find that word comes up more and more in my writing – both memoir and fiction. I really need to lean into it more, such an amazing thing. Thanks Crystal! Thx too for giving that grace back to future kids like me! 😎😎😎😎😎

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  15. Have you written to Mr. Guss to tell him? He may still be alive, and it would mean the world to him to read this post. I am a Mr. Guss. This post was about me, too. Thank you for that, Brian. I am so lucky to ‘read’ children and give them what they need. The children are all the stars in the sky. Mr. Guss would say the same thing.

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  16. Thank goodness for Mr. Guss and other teachers like him, who realize their biggest role is creating a loving and supportive environment. When students know their teachers care about them, they try harder. I saw it many times. Every kid deserves a fresh chance, regardless of their past. Many kids come to school angry at their life’s circumstances. Sometimes it takes a calm head like Mr. Guss to see beyond what they see on the exterior.

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  17. This is a beautiful post, Brian.

    “People come and go in our lives for millions of different reasons and have a huge impact on us. Sometimes we recognize that imprint right away. We know they’ve helped us for the better…”

    So true. I needed to see this today. Take care.

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  19. Oh, this is so good – “Mr. Guss helped me through one of the most challenging times in my life. As I’ve gotten older, I find that I think often about people like him and try to be deliberate in reaching out and thanking those who’ve made a difference.”

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