“Now is the best time to make a change, for the future is built upon the choices we make today.”
Unknown
The latest school portraits of the granddaughters:
These photos are placed with one on each side of my TV. Even when the TV is turned off I can see the faces of these beautiful girls. Gigi, on the left, is her mom. Same cheeks, same smile, same I’m-the-oldest-and-in-charge personality. Cece is her dad. She has his eyes, his devilish smile and his dry, never ending sense of humor.
I am beyond grateful that I get to be grandma to these girls.
Yet when I look at these pictures, their faces at 11 and 8 years old, I wonder what I am leaving for them. I wonder what their world will be like in 10 or 20 years or when I am gone from this world myself.
There is a lot of talk about having gratitude for all the things our society, our planet, and our fellow human beings offer to each new generation. Of course there are social, educational and technological advances that these two girls are able to experience. Things I never dreamed of. Personally I think their genes now express an inherent ability to use tech and devices in ways no one can explain!
Still I ask myself- Have I done all that I can for them? Are humans of my generation as a whole doing what is right or best or needed for these Gen Alpha girls and their entire cohort?
Will they find gratitude in 20 years when as adults they face whatever my generation has left as a legacy for them? Or, will they wonder… why we lacked the ability to solve social issues- things like crime, homelessness, mental illness, food insecurity, poverty…
Will they wonder why we found it so difficult to open ourselves and speak to an acceptance of diversity, to see everyone as a valued human being rather than a skin color or a viewpoint or as “other”…
Will they question the choices our leaders made, leaders that my generation put into power, and face daunting impacts to their own lives as they perhaps struggle to clean up the residual and dysfunctional mess fueled by misunderstanding and yes, even hate…
As young women will they continue to be marked by long held, stereotypical viewpoints regarding their “place” in society, or held back from fully making their own choices or being seen and valued… because no matter the hype, women in our society still remain marginalized in so many ways.
Will they live on a planet that continues to be depleted of resources…dying…finding themselves faced with a knowledge that my generation and those before me chose greed and waste and personal advantage over the recognition that our planet and home IS a finite resource that we have treated abominably…
I love these girls deeply and fully and want to believe that their lives will be better. They deserve that hope yet there is a growing struggle on my part to find my own gratitude from day to day. There is a weight and a very somber outlook that sits before me when I attempt to predict their future. I wonder how any of us can look into the faces of this generation and say we are doing our best for them. Gratitude can often be tied to our perspective, to the way in which we want to frame things in relation to our own viewpoints and beliefs.
I am looking at the girls’ faces right now as I type these words. I fully admit that my perspective is rather skewed, not at its most open, lacking willingness to believe. Right now I do not expect them to say thank you, to be grateful. I think that may be asking for too much and I would totally understand their perspective…and also agree.
The Heart of the Matter 
This is such a powerful post, Deb. As one of the younger readers, I can says that a significant portion of Millennials are disappointed in the Boomer generation for the greed that many believe has led to a harder life for generations to follow. As much as I try to be optimistic, I also fear that things will even harder for Gen Alpha. It’s difficult because even if we, as individuals, do everything in our power, it’s no match for politics, industrial activities, etc. I hope that our efforts, as individuals, to turn the ship and forge a better world for our prodigy will be acknowledged and appreciated, even if life is still harder than it had to be.
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My kids are all Millennials and I see first hand what you describe Erin. That current legacy is part of what led me to contemplate where our future moves next and I just can’t look at these girls and not find disappointment. It doesn’t come only based on my generation, although I think we took great advantage after 2 world wars previous to capitalize fully on what we believe a forceful, surviving “deserving” group of humans were entitled to. Thanks for adding your viewpoint today 🙂
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Such a beautiful, honest and endearing post, Deb. Especially this: “I love these girls deeply and fully and want to believe that their lives will be better. They deserve that hope yet there is a growing struggle on my part to find my own gratitude from day to day.” I feel every bit of that – and it’s especially poignant with the beautiful photos of Gigi and Cece anchoring your thoughts. Thank you so much. 💕
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Thank you Vicki. I think in some ways the separation from the girls makes these sorts of contemplative processes really strike to the heart of how we as humans are not managing things well overall. I know even if they were still close by I would feel the same, but distance and real in person conversations make for challenging connections on important topics.
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Gosh, I get that. The separation and distance add intensity to the feelings. Big hugs, Deb. 💕
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This is on of the most frank and unafraid post I have read in a very long time. You do not turn away from what mankind is doing to itself, nor the questionable inheritance we offer to our young people, as well as other life forms.
I agree that each of us has responsibility to do a part of the job of repairing the world. As to your beautiful and bright grandchildren, if they display the integrity you model for them and know of your effort to improve the world, they will be grateful to you.
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Such very kind words Dr. Stein, thank you! As I wrote this post I wondered if generations before me have felt the same- is this a universal and pervasive need that we have- to seek better for those that inherit what we leave behind? Does each generation find themselves lacking in their choices and decisions or has the rapid growth in things like industry, technology, even trade among other nations and cultures and opening our worldviews (while not necessarily embracing them) making it easier to see the damage my Boomer cohort has caused…
I am trying for sure, and I think the girls see that, yet being a mere drop in a huge sea of ill-prepared, unaware and uncaring humans sort of feels inconsequential when that big picture jumps out at you.
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To respond to your first question, Deb, I think past generations might have felt this way IF conditions the preceding generations left behind were notably bad, as in the carnage of wars or plagues. Unfortunately, we are about to offer a legacy to all future generations unlike any other: the prospect of a planet that will grow increasingly uninhabitable. Unless there is an unexpected scientific intervention, we have put at risk not just the next generation, but every succeeding generation — the risk of receiving something unique in a singularly unfortunate way.
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What an honor…to be the generation who truly sees no point or purpose in doing what is needed for our entire world to continue… I understand the ways in which our history has been repeated socially, yet what a distinction to be remembered as the cohort that basically finished off the earth…
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I relate with this in my bones and am, thus, grateful for the un-alone-ness I felt when reading it. I see plenty that is beautiful, sure, but every more as days pass without the kinds of substantive changes necessary to shape a better future for today’s little ones … I look at my sweet boys and feel pangs of regret at (what feel like glimpses of) the world being left them.
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Thank you Deborah 🙂 Substantive is an excellent word here and I agree that we are truly in need of major changes, so much more than what individuals can or are trying to do. It comes down to that clever idiom of sea-change…a sweeping overall alteration to viewpoints, management and priorities. There is hope from your generation but I think that has been just one of the ongoing issues in our society- we tend to believe those who come after will fix things, forgetting they inherit all the crud that came before. That doesn’t really give them much chance to improve in any but the most superficial ways…
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Wow – what a powerful post, Deb! The stark future you paint with the grounded perspective of your grandkids is amazing. Such great food for thought – and call to action. Thank you – I’m grateful!
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I know not everyone would agree with me, in many respects and based on personal viewpoints…however when so many things socially and worldwide just keep piling on and solutions seem impossible to find or are just sources of arguments and filled with bias it all leaves me to anticipate a very real struggle for your kids, my grands and ever young person within this latest cohort. I also think people simply are totally overwhelmed trying to figure out where to begin, but somehow we have to begin…and continue. Thanks for reading Wynne 🙂
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Being a good Christian mentor for them to emulate is the greatest gift you can give to your beautiful granddaughters. 🙂
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Thank you Nancy. I too believe that as adults we have to lead by example in all aspects of life. There are absolutely many ways to achieve the same goals for our society and it is imperative that we are open to everyone’s viewpoints yet we are far from that consensus in our society. Even the basic tenet of respect seems to be lacking. I feel we are far beyond teaching only in the family unit. There needs to be active change to leave our world in a better position for these young children.
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What an amazing post. First, your grand daughters are beautiful. Second, I have the same fears for my children and what their world will be like. Their years have been shaped by 9/11, the crash of 2008 and the COVID shutdown. They both suffered through things that were not imaginable in my childhood, although we had the Vietnam War.
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Thank you EA! I love gazing on those pictures 🙂 Yes, the Millenials have had their share of major impacts as well, and that speaks to my concerns for the girls. The outcomes from the chaos you mention are still ongoing, still causing huge issues and having major repercussions in our society, and I think will likely continue without real solutions. We are simply perpetuating very real, very tough and incredibly detrimental social issues year after year that grow exponentially as we add on new problems. Which generation will it be that simply lacks any resources to even begin to solve human caused issues? I think we are running out of time to simply continue transferring problems onto the next generation.
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I agree that we can’t keep passing on our problems to future generations. My daughter was impacted during COVID with a long layoff from work, depression and is finally getting through this. Then we have the DIL cancer issue. My kids live one mile apart and are very close, including my daughter with our DIL.
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I too fear for my children and grandchildren and wish that they could escape (somehow) what’s happening in the world. I think of the past plagues and wars and what happened to families during the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl and think… in spite of our advanced knowledge and technology, why have we failed to make anything better? I put partial blame on the greed of the Boomers but really many of the worst for that are Generation X. The crazier politicians seem to be from that era too. Sigh. I don’t have any answers. Your granddaughters are beautiful; I know you miss them terribly.
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I don’t think anyone has any “real” answers but we are good at perpetuating harm and distrust and doing away with any sense of respect or ability to work to solve issues. I am just really tired of “hoping” for change. Hope is not making a dent in solving anything.
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I believe that change in the right direction is happening. It might be slow and sometimes takes a winding path, but I truly believe we’re getting there. I think we’re waking up to the idea of taking care of the planet and the beings on it, and taking baby steps towards that end.
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Honestly I am not trying to be a naysayer as I do believe there are many who seek and work actively for change. What seems hard for many to grasp though is that we are at a point (I believe) collectively where the burden is being tossed onto the individuals and that isn’t the answer. The answer is so much bigger and involves real reform and change from the top leadership down, along with radical change to how our corporate partners place themselves and their need for wealth into the picture…and that is just from an environmental standpoint. Social issues are another thing entirely and the work is circular at best in those areas. I am heartened that you see hope and change around you, yet I still believe strongly that we have waited much too long and are only prolonging the inevitable without drastic change in the foreground. Thank you for weighing in on this topic today 🙂
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I get your point, completely.
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Oh Deb, this really tugged at my heartstrings. You’ve put into words everything I think and feel every day.
My daughters are both Gen Z and just finding their way in the world as young adults. Their generation has a right to be angry at ours. Contrary to the label many boomers want to put on young people, my daughters are both hard working and intelligent, yet they may never afford things that we once took for granted.
Our legacy to them is a broken world, fuelled by greed and overconsumption. It is hard to feel optimistic.
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I think many of us feel this way Michelle, but struggle to put it into words. We also carry levels of guilt knowing no matter how hard we try things are pretty darn messed up and so many still deny that things are wrong. I just don’t want to imagine what things will be like for this youngest generation. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective with me.
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You’ve said it well and truthfully. I wonder what will happen in our future, knowing full well that expecting anyone to say “thank you” for the mess this world is in is the epitome of arrogance. I also believe that the younger generations are smart and adept problem-solvers who will do their best to save the planet. I have more faith in them than my own peers.
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I agree Ally, the only hope I see will come from the people these girls grow up with and who follow them, although I think our world can never expect to be fully renewed and whole. We’ve pretty much sealed the deal on the harm part…
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A great post, as always, Deb. While so many people are doing their best to make this world a better place, if the ones who are actually in a position to make that much-needed difference are only interested in what they can get out of it, there isn’t much hope for the future. On a brighter note, you have two beautiful granddaughters.
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Yes Sue, priorities seem to be skewed don’t they.
I too find my girls to be beautiful for sure, thank you 🙂
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As a fellow grandmother, I totally understand the feelings you so eloquently expressed in this post! I do worry about the world they are going to inherit, on so many levels. We seem to have lost the ability to work with, much less respect, those who are different from us, and that’s a dangerous thing. The problems facing our country and our world are very real, and while I like to think we’ll solve at least most of them, I honestly don’t know….
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I appreciate knowing that I’m not alone in my concern Ann, thank you. I think we make a few inroads, and those come from many of the younger folks to begin with, but then the reality is that nothing is sustained and all the stuff that needs to be tossed out for good creeps back in and becomes prominent again…
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Your granddaughters are beautiful, Deb, and I actually see a resemblance between Cici and you. Maybe it’s the hairstyle?
You make such a good point about the world that we are leaving behind. We like to think that we are doing our part to make the world a better version of itself now for the next generations to inherit. But I am not so sure about then when we see the culture wars, wars, climate change, consumerism, etc.
But I also believe life is cyclical and perhaps the pendulum will swing the other way once again.
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The girls and my daughter all have my cheeks…at least the cheeks I had when I was younger 😉 but I see a resemblance for sure in both of them!
I mentioned to someone else that I agree on the cyclical nature of our society. Sort of the history repeats itself model with some generations finding more common ground than others. Tossing in the fact that my generation is likely the one that has tipped the balance for our earth gives a bigger distinction, and not a good one either, as a legacy for this youngest generation.
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I think each generation of parents have these thought-provoking thoughts and conversations. I remember listening to my grandmother and my mother pondering my generation. Most of us have lived well – many in the future will too including your special granddaughters!
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