Episode 44: Hot Tips For Writing About Family with Brian Hannon

Posted on by Wynne Leon

In this episode of the Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcast, I’m with my co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and writer and author, Brian Hannon. Brian is one of our colleagues on the Heart of the Matter blog and we love the inspiration he brings forward about writing and creativity on a regular basis. In this case, it was an article on Writer’s Digest by Sierra Godfrey entitled, 4 Ways to Write Complicated Families.

Oh boy. What family isn’t complicated? So we get Brian to talk about Sierra’s four points: pair the darkness with humor, use character imperfections, leave room for characters to grow, and have empathy.

The great thing about having good source material and a great writer to comment on it is that it adds up to a fantastic conversation about how to actually do it. Brian talks about writing about family members, whether in personal narratives or in fiction, from a three-dimensional viewpoint. We dig into the humor of Vicki’s book Surviving Sue as an example of how to lighten up the load that came with Sue’s dysfunction.

Brian asks me a great question about my book, Finding My Father’s Faith that is based on conversations that I had with my dad. Could we have talked in-depth about life, religion and spirituality ten years earlier than we did? Nope, because as Parker J. Palmer says, “The inner life of any great thing will be incomprehensible to me until I develop and deepen an inner life of my own.” I wouldn’t have been able to have those conversations until I was ready.

Timing is such a key to writing about family and the three of us talk about it. Vicki brings up the readiness factor – that we have to have done enough work in order to be able to follow Sierra Godfrey’s points to write full characters.

And through it all we affirm all that writing can do for us, especially when dealing with complicated characters and family. Brian borrows from Jerry Maguire, “It completes me.” We get to work through our stuff, leave room for our own growth as a character in the story, all the while leaving a story so that others know they aren’t alone.

This is a great episode about great tips that comes with writing about all the facets of family. We know you’ll love it.

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Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen to on Anchor Episode 44: Hot Tips for Writing About Family with Brian Hannon

Transcript for Episode 44 of the podcast

Links for this Episode:

Episode 44: Hot Tips for Writing About Family with Brian Hannon on Anchor

Brian’s personal blog: Writing from the Heart with Brian

Sierra Godfrey article on Writer’s Digest: 4 Ways to Write Complicated Families

Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue

Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith

23 thoughts on “Episode 44: Hot Tips For Writing About Family with Brian Hannon”

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  4. You and Brian have offered some good comments about Sierra’s tips when writing about family members, particularly “colorful” ones. Brian mentioned that his dad did what he could do with his resources at the time, so backstory is important, as it was with Vicki’s mother. That’s the most relevant point to me. Thanks for an interesting podcast! 🙂

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    1. I think back story is really important. I probably focus too much on it. I just know that when I look at my dad’s background and the challenges he faced, 1,) I’m better able to come to grips emotionally with some of his less than ideal behaviors, and 2.) from a writing perspective, I think it gives a truer picture of who he was and what was important to him. Thanks for Listening Nancy!!!!

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  5. I think one of the really cool things about the work that you did with your dad Wynne is that you mentioned that you had recorded the conversations. I’m right about that right? I think that’s awesome for your kids, to know him without being alive when he was alive. What an amazing present to give them someday. And also the great part about today’s podcast is not me, but Vicki and you talking about your books and how you guys have dealt with the family thing. I think that’s great stuff. Love it Wynne!

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      1. Okay, now we know that’s a lie. On one hand, you have priceless recordings with your dad! (Forget about what he’s saying, just your kids being able to hear his voice, could be reading the phone book, wow! Amazing to have. And then on the other hand, there’s the podcasts with some crazy guy who calls himself a writer. Hmmm, I think we know which one is the treasure. Ha, ha! That’s cool that you have them Wynne. Did his church ever record his sermons. Neat too!

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      2. Ha, ha, ha! We’re going to be listening back to these recordings in five years and loving them too! And yes, his churches did record his sermons and I have a few – I’m not sure how to get the rest.

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  6. Excellent conversation. I hadn’t seen Sierra’s article, but it all makes sense. One interesting point was the idea of connecting something dark or sad with humor. I think its human nature for people (myself for sure) to find the humor in something that isn’t funny. I don’t know if you remember the movie the Money Pit, but who can’t relate to those times when things constantly seem to go wrong? When I used to visit my mom in her assisted living home, there were many humorous situations. I recall wandering through the aisles of Walgreens with Mom looking for some beauty product, neither of us with a clue. Between my mom, who couldn’t remember the name of the product, and my lack of knowledge of the subject, it was downright comical. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

    Another time, I wandered around looking for my mom and finally found her in the activity room at the assisted living center. They were having a memorial for someone who had passed. Mom was in the middle of eating cake and her face brightened up when she saw me. We took a walk, as was often our custom, when I came to visit. The first thing she said was, “That (the memorial) was really nice. We should do that again.”

    I realized at that moment she didn’t understand what she had attended. Of course, I’d never make fun of someone suffering from cognitive issues, yet I couldn’t but help see the humor in it.

    I resonated with the point that some conversations are impossible until both parties are open to talking about a challenging subject. I remember a conversation I had with my dad later in life about his inability to express his love for his sons. I knew he loved us, but it was hard for him to verbalize it. After he told me about his strict German upbringing, it made much more sense. As an affectionate person, I needed that from my dad. He got there later in life, and we always ended our visits with a hug and a “I love you.” Without that difficult conversation, I doubt that would have happened.

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    1. What beautiful input, Pete. Thank you so much. The connections you see to experiences with your mom are so lovely and sweet. And real. (And thanks for the memory lane moment about the funny film, “The Money Pit”. Shelley Long and Tom Hanks? I can’t remember!) Big smiles to you. 🥰

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    2. I love these wonderful stories, Pete! You remind me of when my grandmother was in an assisted living place and kept her phone books in the fridge. Her daughter (my mom) said, “Mom, you can’t do that, people will think you are crazy!” But really it was where she had the most open and accessible storage space. Yes, we need humor to get by, don’t we!

      And the conversation with your dad? How touching!

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