Rock-a-bye baby

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

My wife and I rolled over at the same time. Our baby daughter was crying from her room. We were both tired, but I offered to go get her. You would have thought I told my wife that she had just won the PowerBall Lottery. In her exhaustion, she let out a huge smile, told me thank you, and to get her if I needed anything. The words were barely out of her mouth, and she was already back to sleep. 

I walked over to our daughter’s room, decorated in traditional Beatrix Potter Peter Rabbit wallpaper, and picked her up from her crib. Her face was a ball of fury, angry at me for taking so long. I laid her on our changing table and started to change her diaper. 

Hush, little baby

She stopped crying right away and looked up at me with a quizzical look on her face, like she was trying to figure me out. I lowered my face to give her a kiss on her forehead and she let out a little laugh. I might have been tired, but I had my audience. I did it again and she laughed again. 

It was the cutest little laugh. I didn’t care that it was two in the morning and we both needed our sleep, I did it three or four more times. I needed to see my baby girl happy and content.

Quiet snuggles 

Finally, when I had her wrapped back up in a new diaper and pajamas, I pulled her close and sat in my rocking chair, rocking her. She wasn’t ready to go back to sleep, she started talking gibberish and moving her hands. I responded with my own gibberish — just two tired souls enjoying each other’s company. 

After a few minutes, I walked down to our kitchen with her on my shoulders and warmed up a bottle and then back to the room. I turned on some quiet music, gave her the bottle and rocked quietly back-and-forth, back-and-forth, the two of us in time to the music. 

A perfect moment

We’re writing this month on The Heart of the Matter on “light.” I associate light with a lot of things, joy, happiness, cheerfulness. I also associate it with clarity and clearness. When I think about my life, a whole slew of memories come to mind, but I come back often to two key ones: when I made my commitment to my wife to ask her to marry me and this moment here where I looked down at my daughter and realized that my wife and I would survive the struggles of having a newborn and that there was nothing that I wouldn’t do for the little girl in my arms. 

There’s nothing else like the smell of a baby, which to my nose is a mixture of baby powder; clean laundry detergent; Desitin, the smooth white cream you use to treat diaper rash; and wet, sloppy kisses. I took in the smell and my beautiful baby girl. 

Peaceful dreams

We rocked for a long time, until I eventually laid her in her crib and she stayed asleep. The other night I thought about that night oh so many years ago and haven’t been able to stop. There was nothing special about it, but it’s always stayed with me.

It reminds me that light brings clarity and that there are good things in life, especially babies and the love we share.

What brings clarity to your life?

. . . . . 

Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read my companion piece. In addition, you can follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

Images by Pexels.

46 thoughts on “Rock-a-bye baby”

  1. Pingback: Help me, I’m drowning – Writing from the Heart with Brian

    1. I’m very happy where I’m at, but it’s fun sometimes to go back in time a little. It’s amazing to think how times have changed. Those three little babies that frightened me to death now lead their own lives, make their own decisions, and make me very happy. Definitely strange.

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  3. Beautiful Brian! I’d trade all my tomorrows to be able to go back to one of those priceless yesterday moments rocking to sleep, cuddled in my arms, one of the 6 precious blessings He entrusted me to parent.

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    1. The time in that rocking chair are some of my most precious in my life. Now my heart was probably racing, but everything was just so calm. I’m still happy where I’m at now, but it’s fun to look back some times. Amazing how time has changed. Thanks for reading Fred!!!!

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    1. I can’t take credit. I think most dads feel this way. There’s some bad ones out there, but there’s lots of good ones too. If anything, I’m just able to put the feeling into words better than some other dads. It’s fun to look back every now and again. Thanks so much for reading Sheila!!!

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      1. And beautiful writing it is, Brian.
        Yes, sadly, my ex-husband and father of my two children only has had a relationship with one because she wouldn’t give up reaching out to him. The other, my son, calls him and he says it’s “only when he needs something.” But I think children grown or not should reach out when they need something. It’s not as though he ever took advantage. Thus, they have no relationship at all.

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  10. This was a beautiful story to share Brian. Clarity to me at this point in life comes in the reflections I hold when I look at my adult children- who they are, how they work alongside their partners, their worldviews and values. They are everything that a mom could hope for whether I was perfect or not, and ‘not’ absolutely wins out in this situation! 🙂

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    1. You bring up a great point Deb. It’s fun to look back at our grown kids when they were young and to write about those times. But I have to say that I’ve gotten a ton of enjoyment reflecting on my adult children and the choices they’re making now. I never thought much about this stage of parenting. I didn’t give it much thought, but it’s been a lot of fun to experience. Great point!!!!

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  12. Oh my goodness, you have me in tears, Brian! You so beautifully capture the wonder of those moments that need no words!! Light = clarity. I love it!! So precious! Thank you for sharing this incredible moment and insight with us! Love love love!

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    1. It’s interesting. When you mentioned light, this is the moment that came to me first. But, I kept fighting it. I wasn’t sure how it had to do with Light. I had the story all written up and still didn’t see it, until finally the connection to clarity came to me. Fun to go back to that time. Such a crazy, beautiful time. Thanks fr the kind words Wynne. I just write what I see in my mind. Or at least that’s what I try to write.

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  15. This brought back a lot of memories, Brian. Our son was a colicky baby and quickly earned the moniker “Cryin’ Ryan.” Still, there were so many happy times that I learned to function on 2-3 hours of sleep for his first few months. In May, we’re supposed to have a grandson—our first. I can’t wait to see him as a dad, sharing these same kind of special moments.

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