As plain as day

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

Several years ago, I had to stay late at work. I was finishing up a project. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my boss’ boss, a managing director of the firm, pacing the floor. He was on his cellphone and he looked stressed. He was in a glass walled conference room so you could see him clear as day. He was talking with his hands and every so often he would raise his voice. It didn’t sound like the conversation was going well.

I stayed much later than I expected to stay. I was supposed to leave at 4:30 p.m., but didn’t leave until a little after 8:30 p.m. The office was a ghost town. I packed up my belongings and stopped by the break room to grab a soda for my drive home. Of course, I ran into the boss. He looked even more stressed, so I asked him if everything was okay and if he needed anything.

“No, no, I got it,” he said. 

Are you sure? You don’t look good

His response wasn’t very reassuring. I was concerned about him, so I asked again. “I know things are tight right now with the market and the low number of clients we have coming in. Is everything okay?”

He put up his hand to stop me and spent the next 15 minutes telling me that things were great. He talked about new business and what his partners were doing. He then mocked me for asking: “I don’t know why you’re even bringing this up Brian, we’re doing great.”

I wanted to answer that his ashen-colored face and the pain in his voice told a different story, but I kept my wise guy response to myself. Instead, I put up my hands in defense and apologized for even bringing up my question.  

Of course, a week later, we had a huge company-wide layoff. In total, 300 of us were furloughed. His lie left a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ve never begrudged him for not coming out and telling me about the impending layoff. He couldn’t do that. I got that. But he didn’t have belittle me and make me feel stupid for paying attention and seeing the writing on the wall.

Transparency in the news

I couldn’t help but think about that conversation recently. The word “transparency” seems to be a trendy word. It seems to show up ever day now in the news and on social media. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it hundreds of times. When the year comes to a close eight months from now, I’m sure it will be one of the bigger words of 2025. 

It’s come up a lot in reference to potential savings from federal cutbacks and in the corporate world. I’m not going to get political but I find the word fascinating. Like many things, I find that it often means one thing to one person and something completely different to another.

It’s not just the government or work. Our relationships often need great amounts of transparency. How many marriages have struggled because of the lack of transparency? Marriage counselors emphasize the need for trust, built via honesty, reliability, and a willingness to be vulnerable. When clarity and visibility are lacking, everything else falls apart.

The sit-com TV laugh track

When I think about transparency in everyday life, I get an image of sit-com TV from over the years. It’s like a bad episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show. I imagine Laura Petrie played by Mary Tyler Moore yelling at Dick Van Dyke’s Rob Petrie, “You said you were going out with Joey but you never said that Joey was a woman!”

Uh-oh! 

I think too of Kip and Henry, played by Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari, who lose their apartment and are forced to disguise themselves as women, Buffy and Hildegarde, in Bosom Buddies to score a cheaper New York City apartment.

Henry: “Our friend Amy said there was a great apartment in her building…”

Kip: “Dirt cheap!”

Henry: “…but it’s a hotel for women.”

Kip: “Okay, we made one adjustment.”

Henry: “Now these other ladies know us as Buffy and Hildegarde … but they also know us as Kip and Henry, Buffy and Hildy’s brothers.”

Okay, I’m not saying it was great TV, but it still highlights my point about the need for transparency.

Trust can break through barriers

Of course, TV is one thing, real life is something altogether different. When transparency exists it paves the way for trust and loyalty. For example, I’ve had two layoffs in my career. I mentioned the first. In the second, my immediate boss did her best to keep us informed. She was so much in our corner that she let us know that things weren’t looking good. She gave us insight into what she was seeing and her expectations.

Oh, I’m sure our morale took a hit, but we appreciated her honesty. We felt like we had someone in our court. When the bad news came, I thanked her for going above-and-beyond in making it easier on the team.

It made such a big difference that when the company rebounded later and reached out to me, I considered returning. I ultimately said no, but thanks to her strong leadership I left with a positive impression of the firm.

Here’s to a transparent world — both at work and home.

…….

Check out my blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com. I have a companion piece today titled, Wearing my emotions on my sleeve, where I dive even deeper into transparency and why I’ll never become a professional card shark. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian. 

Thanks for reading.

Images by Pexels.

29 thoughts on “As plain as day”

  1. Pingback: Wearing my emotions on my sleeve – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  3. Wow, the things you can do with a word, Brian! This feels like such an incredible deep dive into the ways we can be opaque and transparent with each other. I love how you bring such authenticity to it! Here’s to being plain as day!

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    1. Oh, you know how to make feel like I know what I’m doing Wynne. “A deep dive.” Yea, that’s exactly what I was going for. Yea, we need to talk with clear, plain language. I’m just like Jon Lovitz from Saturday Night Live. Yea, that’s the ticket. Ha, ha. Thank you so much for the kind comments.

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  5. I wonder to what extent transparency conversations should exclude business interactions. It seems to have infiltrated virtually every decision about hiring, firing, cost of products, and economic predictions.

    It involves mass layoffs, universities, the practice of law, the Kennedy Center, banned books, and the deportation of citizens and noncitizens. It is the elephant in most rooms. Of course, your example refers to an event that happened several years ago.

    I wonder what might have been included in a contemporary example. No disrespect, Brian. You are a fine writer whose work is excellent.

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    1. No problems Dr. Stein. I was trying to not get too political with my post. On my own blog, I wrote recently about political and religious hypocrisy. I’m making lots of friend. Just kidding. But yes, the need for more transparency is everywhere around us. I was trying to take a look at it from one instance in my own life. But I think you’re right right, it’s hitting us square in the face every day right now. Thanks for your comment.

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  6. I understand your point which you exemplified quite well. On the contrary, I had a boss who was overly transparent. She would tell us about every little issue and suggest we may want to look for another job. I retired from that office! 🙂

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  8. I feel badly for the first boss because he couldn’t say anything to you. But I agree, that he should not have made you feel stupid. It was obvious what you witnessed. Good that your second boss handled the situation better. I did PR in-house for big real estate developer in Palm Springs. The real estate business is cyclical and we’d go from close to a thousand employees to 25. Once when the firm was large they hired a photographer to take a company photo. The photographer was in a crane. When the next big layoff came, the president had the framed photograph in is office. He’d put a black dot on the faces of those let go!

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      1. That’s awful. My brother was in a job where he was the hatchet man. He had to let 5,000 go at a time for a publicly-traded company that acquired new companies and gutted them. It put a horrific toll on him. But, he never lied to the employees.

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  10. Such contrasting experiences, Brian! Transparency for sure is a buzz word but like you, it is so vital in nurturing trust and loyalty and a safe work environment. 🙏

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  11. Thoughtful topic! I think a person’s ability to be transparent is greatly affected by their ability to be transparent with themselves first and foremost. And perhaps relates to emotional maturity – thinking about how your bosses handled things differently.

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  12. Though I can understand why your first boss was trying to paint a rosier picture than reality, I think your second one had the right approach. No one likes to feel they’ve been lied to. I think our politicians should also keep that in mind.

    I vaguely remember the Mary Tyler Moore episode you’re referencing. The line about Joey is hilarious.

    You’re so right about the word “transparency.” It’s everywhere lately.

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  13. A great ode to one powerful word, Brian. My hubby has also experienced two layoffs due to company changes, and both times were devastating. But he bounced back like you did. Transparency is so vital in all situations. 🥰

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  14. Funny, I was just talking about Bosom Buddies with my mom yesterday. She used to love the show, which by extension meant, I used to love the show. Good times!

    Which, come to think of it, was another good show…

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