Keeping joy simple

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

My wife and I led our three kids, who were all relatively young at the time, off the crowded shuttle and walked quietly back to our hotel room. We were all exhausted. We had gotten to the resort theme park early in the morning and had spent the day, staying until the fireworks and laser light show performance, stopping only a couple of times to grab a bite to eat or something to drink.

The thee-day trip to Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center had been a blast. We had scheduled the trip as a reward for the kid’s hard work in school and some much-needed family time. While we weren’t looking forward to heading home the next day, we had gotten our money’s worth out of the trip.  

Of course, all five of us were asleep the minute our heads hit the pillow. 

What it really means

When I was young kid, I thought joy had a lot to do with expensive vacations and getaways – especially like the ones we made fifteen years ago to Walt Disney World. We’re writing about joy this month on The Heart of the Matter. As I’ve aged, though, my idea of joy has changed and evolved. 

I certainly enjoyed our trip to Walt Disney World and a few years later when we took the kids to Universal Studios, but I’ve come to believe that joy has less to do with trips like those or the dollars we spend and more to do with the people we get to spend time. In fact, when I think of joy, I think of simple things like holiday dinners, graduations, birthday celebrations, and spontaneous family get-togethers.

Here’s what I mean.

I think of last October. Our middle child, our son who is in the United States Marines and is stationed in California, flew home for leave. He had been on the go for the previous year and a half and was looking forward to the break. He would be home for two weeks and then would be deploying overseas for six to seven months. 

A day before I was to pick him at the airport, I drove to Washington, D.C. to pick up my daughter. A few days later, my daughter, my youngest son, and I drove to the airport. I knew it would be great seeing my son, but when I saw the three of them hug each other, not worrying about their crazy father taking pictures of them or any of the other travelers, I felt joy and contentment. 

We didn’t spend a ton of money those two weeks. We barely even left the house. We mainly hung out together and had a few family dinners and spent time talking and joking with each other on our deck. They rank as precious memories and some of the best times in my life. 

Time with each other

When I think about joy, I think of three key ingredients. Of course, for me, family and friends are tops on that list. I think too about putting work and financial-related obligations out of mind. Finally, I think of a little alone time to process (and maybe even write about) what’s happening. Nowhere on that list is spending exorbitant amounts of money or traveling to Disney or some popular A-list destination or flashy resort or hotel. It’s the chance to spend time with the people I love the most.

What ingredients make up your joyful moments? What’s the “pièce de résistance” that makes your moment special? Kentucky Fried Chicken used to advertise their secret recipe, McDonald’s promotes the secret sauce in every one of its Big Macs. What’s your secret sauce that turns regular old get-togethers or vacations into joy-filled memories?

Let me know what you think.

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Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read the companion piece I wrote today or follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

Images by Pexels. 

26 thoughts on “Keeping joy simple”

  1. I think you nailed it…you’ve got the ‘secret sauce’. Nothing flashy required…just time and love. Nothing’s more precious. Your post had me tearing up, Brian, imagining your three grown ones hugging each other at the airport. My heart’s full! 💕

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  3. I was going to say that KFC and any fried chicken really is part of any joyful moment for me. 😆 Family for sure tops the list. And I think good food/drinks, laughter, conversation and activity – could be as simple as a hike together to something more elaborate. But it’s really about the company.

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    1. Very wise words Fred. When the green-eyed envy monster comes out in me and I get the “I wants” which usually ends with a nicer car, house, money, etc., I remind myself that yes, I could have more $$$$, but I wouldn’t necessarily be able to put in the time with my family. I often need to remind myself that society is full of BS and to not worry about what’s in and instead just be with the ones I love. Thanks for the comment!

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  5. Wow, you had me thinking – what is my secret sauce,, the crunch on my chicken, the icing on my cake. I thought and thought. Like you, I think it’s a feeling more than an experience. A while ago I wrote, “We are happy with things, with people, with circumstances. Joy is a deeper feeling. It is peace and contentment and feeling all is or will be right and good. Considering that explanation, joy and happiness do not depend on the other to exist. You can be sad and still be joyful, knowing the good you experience exceeds the sad.” That’s my sauce. – whatever makes me smile inside and feel my cheeks flush, I’ve found joy. Thank you for reminding me to take the time to think about that!

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    1. I like that you drilled down to listening. I think that’s so important. I can be a know-it-all dad, no surprise there. But, I think one of the things I learned early that helps me sometimes out of bad situations is to just shut up and listen. It’s amazing how it can help.

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  7. You’ve transported me to your deck so I feel like I’m there feeling the joy! I love your ability to make a big topic relatable, Brian! Like finding your three ingredients for joy – brilliant! I think I would echo your ingredients – family & friends, the ability to really pay attention, and an open heart. Beautiful post!

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    1. Come join the fun Wynne. Grab a cold drink and a shady spot. Always room for more. I’m glad you could see it. Thank you for the kind comment. I’m sure my blogs get boring because that’s generally what I try to do . . . show a specific interaction or experience that tells the story about a larger issue. Thank you!!!!

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  8. I think you’ve got it down pat. Spending time with loved ones. That’s all that’s necessary. During our beach vacations in So Cal, I’d spend a day with the kids at Disneyland. It wasn’t as much fun as hanging out at the beach building sand castles and boogie boarding.

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  9. As you and everyone else have noted, time with loved ones is the secret sauce. Hands down! Bonus points for sharing a new experience together, such a child picking out a new library book and reading with mom or dad, trying a new restaurant the family, or checking out a new campsite or hiking path with friends.

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