My wife and I shuffled out of the hospital exhausted. We both still wore our wrinkled work clothes, my dress shirt was untucked, my tie loose around my neck, and we had dark circles under both our eyes. We had been through the ringer. Our daughter who had come into the hospital emergency room looking pale and sickly, like a stiff wind was going to blow her over, now had her energy back and asked if we could stop at McDonalds or somewhere on the way home.
I held her hand and shook my head yes. I knew I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, it was now past midnight, and I doubted my wife had eaten much during the day either. For added measure, my daughter chimed in, “I can’t wait to get home.”
Me too honey, me too!
A wet noodle
Our daughter who was six or seven at the time had been fighting a cold and virus for weeks. We had been giving her liquids on the hour and doing exactly what our pediatrician had been telling us to do, but she was dehydrated, couldn’t keep anything down, and was getting worse, instead of better. She had a fever too that kept rising. Finally, it got to a breaking point, I rushed home from work and we took her to the ER. I carried her into the hospital amazed how light she felt against my chest, and they admitted her right away.
She laid on the hospital bed a wisp of herself. She looked so tiny. She tossed and turned and felt hot and cold to the touch all at the same time. The ER doctor thinking she had pneumonia, worried about her lungs being full of fluid, tried a couple things, but nothing seemed to work. When he first came into the room, he was cool and loose, but as the afternoon turned into evening, he took on a more serious tone. Later that night, though, the tide finally started turning the other direction. First her fever broke, then her cough started becoming more productive and then she started to get her pep back. When we left, close to eleven hours after we first arrived, she was back to her normal self, skipping through the hall and acting like she had never been sick in the first place.
I’ll catch up
We were just about ready to walk outside to the parking lot when I stopped for a long second. “Wait here, I forgot something,” I told my wife. She looked at me strange and gave me a face that said we had everything that we taken into the hospital. I handed her the keys and told her to go the car, that I would be right out to meet them.
I’m not sure what hit me or what brought it on, I tend to keep my emotions close to the vest, but I felt like I had to run back to the nurses station. I ran down the long hall and up a small flight of stairs. I was out of breadth when I got to the station. I was in luck, the nurse who had been helping us most of the night was at the front desk looking something up on her computer screen.
She was surprised to see me, but calm and in control. “Did you forget something? Is your daughter okay?” I told her that she would have been running down the hall if we had let her and was already asking for McDonalds, so she must be feeling better. We both laughed.
“No, no, I just wanted to thank you for helping us through the night and for everything you did. You were such a calming force. Our daughter looked horrible when we brought her in and the worst thoughts raced through my mind,“ I tapered off.
The nurse now joined by two others on her team started to tell me to not worry about it, but I picked back up, “I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s the worst feeling in the world to see your daughter sick, lying so small on the gurney, and to not be able to help her. Your care and help made all the difference in the world.”
When words fail
I tried to thank her again, but she and her coworkers said they appreciated my kind comments, calling it all in a day’s work, and told me that I better catch up with my wife and daughter.
We’re writing this month on The Heart of The Matter on gratitude. I remember being grateful to all the doctors and staff, but I remember specifically being thankful for two of the nurses who were with my daughter throughout our stay. Every time they entered her room, they brightened the entire room. You couldn’t help but notice their deep medical expertise and attitude, they seemed to be saying “not today you crazy monsters and fevers and pneumonia uglies, you leave this little girl right now!”
They brought a positive, loving spirit that turned the tide. We had brought our daughter into the hospital a limp, lifeless little girl, we left with her full of spirit and back to her normal self.
As a society, we’re not always great about saying thank you, but I left the hospital amazed at all the “small contributions” that go unnoticed, but help us overcome our challenges. Oh, I’m sure there are lots of cold, hard medical reasons that played a role in getting my daughter back up on her feet. I’m sure there’s a scientific reason why her fever broke, but I just know that the two nurses knew exactly what to do to help break-up the pneumonia, nurtured her, and played a huge role in helping bring back one of the most important things in the world to me.
When I think about gratitude and what’s important to me, I find I come back to that little visit to the hospital oh so many years ago. The trip to the hospital taught me that some times you have to have faith in and trust others to help those you love the most. It taught me too that you need to thank people in the moment for their help.
Yes, just like my mom used to tell me as a kid, saying “thank you” goes a long way.
The nurses obviously felt that it was all part of their job, but I was still glad that I went out of the way and let them know how I felt. When I’ve offered thanks to people who’ve helped me, in the years since , I’ve always felt better for stating the obvious.
Life happens fast, it’s good to let people know that they matter and to thank them for their help and time.
What does gratitude mean to you? When have you been most thankful in your life?
…..
Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read my companion piece. In addition, you can follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.
All the best, Brian.
Images by Pexels.
The Heart of the Matter 
Oh this one brought tears to my eyes, Brian… There is NOTHING like the helplessness you feel when your child is really, really sick. It’s funny… I was just talking to my husband last night about a similar situation. I couldn’t remember if I had the wherewithal to say thank you, at the time. My husband answered that knowing me as he does, I surely must have. But my worry and my relief are all I recall, now. There is a beautiful scene in the show ‘After Life’ (Ricky Gervais) about regular, everyday folks being the angels who walk amongst us, making our lives better. I am so glad you were able to separate yourself from all that angst and go back to thank those amazing nurses, Brian. And I am so glad you shared this story…🙏🙏🙏
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When my wife gave birth, I remember feeling so “small” but it really hit me when we took our daughter to the hospital. I just remember an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. There was literally nothing I could do. The feeling has always stayed with me. I’m glad you liked the piece. I hope I did the feeling justice. And thanks for the call out of “After Life.” I’ve been meaning to watch that. And, I’m with your husband, I’m sure you thanked the angels that helped in your time of need. If you’re asking that question, that tells me you care! Thanks again Patti!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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🙂💕💕💕
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A sweet story because of the happy ending and your thoughtfulness, Brian. Your decency shines through.
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I just remember that feeling of helplessness and then the feeling of immense gratitude. My daughter is an adult now, but that feeling has stayed with me over the years. Still very strong. it easily could have gone a different direction. Thank you Dr. Stein.
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I’m with Patti…those moments of helplessness as parents are unlike anything else… and the healthcare workers? Yep — angels ARE everywhere…and your urgency about acknowledging those that cared for your daughter? Quintessential Brian, I say. Thank you for sharing the story with us. 💕
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Yes, that helplessness is such a strong feeling. It’s a horrible one. I remember looking around the hospital room and knowing that I could do nothing. It’s still a very strong feeling inside. They really were angels, getting her back to healthy. I remember too just feeling that I needed to tell them how grateful I felt. I knew that wasn’t going to change anything, but felt they needed to hear it from me. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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🥰🥰🥰
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Being a frequent flyer at the local ER, I can bear witness to how often the medical staff gets mistreated, so I think its extra important to thank them for their work.
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Yes, I know it’s a tough, tough job. You have the changing state of medical care and then everyone wants to be seen and feeling better now. It’s a crazy job. I can’t even imagine the demands. I’m not a hugger to strangers . . . but I remember just wanting to hug the staff and thank them for everything they did.
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Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story. Though small in comparison, I have a little heartfelt story of my own that inspired gratitude with no one to thank. In a restaurant yesterday as my friend and I were ready to pay the bill, the server told us that someone had already paid it for us. What a sweet surprise. We wondered if someone was “paying it forward” and decided to do the same for another. Isn’t it wonderful to know that kindness exists amidst this world of turmoil!?
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OH, that’s a wonderful story Julia. And a great example of gratitude. In many respects I like it even more, because I think that’s what gratitude is all about, not the big moments in our lives, but the small everyday ones that help get us through our day and make a world of difference. And so nice of you to pay it forward. That’s awesome. Makes my day!
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Gratitude is realizing that everything in your life is a gift and we should be thankful for it. Of things I’m ost thankful for are indoor plumbing and access to potable water and water heater
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It got colder here this week. I thought of what you wrote just now when I went and turned up the heat. It wasn’t cold by any stretch, but there was a chill in the air. And to think, lots of people don’t have that gift. Yes, I agree, gratitude is realizing the wonderful things we have in our life. Thanks LA.
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Exactly. Turning up the heat isn’t often an option
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Saying thank you really is such a small thing, but said sincerely it has huge ramifications. I try to be very mindful to acknowledge both small and large thoughtfulness and kindness. Everyone deserves that.
Your nurses were surely just “doing their job” as one they love. Healthcare workers are not ones to seek acknowledgment but when it comes it is so appreciated. You did a lovely thing Brian 🙂
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I love how you phrased it that you try to mindful and acknowledge both small and large thoughtfulness and kindness. I’m the same way. I like to think that I may have my faults and flaws . . . but if I’m at least somewhat mindful about recognizing others, hopefully that makes up for where I err . . . at least in some small way. Thanks for the reminder Deb.
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“…all the “small contributions” that go unnoticed, but help us overcome our challenges.” . . . Thanks for sharing your precious story reminder Brian.
In retrospect, I’m forever grateful for the countless “small contributions” that others have graciously blessed my life with which have made a “big contributions” in overcoming challenges along my life’s journey.
Be blessed my friend.
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The trip to the hospital was so long ago . . .but it’s stayed with me all these years later. Still very grateful that it ended on a happy note. Yes, forever grateful for the small contributions and blessings of others. They’ve made a huge difference in my own life. Thanks for sharing Fred.
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So very true, showing gratitude helps us more than others, but it should always be a part of our vocabulary.
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Oh, this is so beautiful, Brian. It brings back powerful memories from when Miss O was born and needed a lot of help. You are so right that those nurses make SUCH a difference. I love your gratitude – now and then. What an inspiration and incredible way to kick off a month of gratitude!
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Oh thank you Wynne!! I hope it kicks off the month with a strong start. Hope not too sappy. I just know that it’s a memory that comes back to me often. It reminds me that I may want control but I need to count on others and need to grateful for their help and support. Yes life is funny that way. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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I love this month’s theme Brian. The medical community is so deserving of our gratitude. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was grateful to the surgeon for speeding up the timeline for my biopsy so I could get a diagnosis, and then getting my surgery done within a week of diagnosis. It was a difficult time but having her in my corner made a huge difference.
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I’m with you Michelle, the medical community is so deserving of our appreciation and gratitude. I love that your surgeon sped things up. It’s such a crazy time and that’s all you want is to get things moving and get results. Love that she read the situation and acted!
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That’s a wonderful thing you did to thank the nurses for their compassion. To them it was a job, but I doubt they got the appreciation they deserved. You reminded me of my son who had RSV as an infant. When I was due with my daughter and he was about three, his lips were turning blue and he had a strange high pitched wail. My cleaning lady told me to go to the doctor ASAP. I told her I had an appointment for him at 2 p.m. (It was 10 a.m.) She forced me out the door. My doctor was on vacation and another doctor was covering for him, was why I was reluctant to go. The doctor sent me directly to ER and not to stop for check in. My son would have died if I waited until the scheduled appointment. At the hospital they thought I was in labor, they put me in a wheel chair and I had to explain that it was my son who needed care. They put him in a tent for oxygen. That’s when he was first diagnosed with asthma, which can happen after RSV.
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Oh my goodness, what a story EA! How scary! Thank goodness you went to the doctor early. Crazy too that they thought it was the baby at first and not your son. It’s those moments where we need others that have such an amazing impact on us. Thanks for sharing.😎😎😎
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It was one of the scariest moments as a parent. Thankfully my cleaning lady was a mother of teens and had more experience than me.
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I can only imagine!
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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What a beautiful story, Brian. My parents taught me that whenever I stop to question whether a “thank you” is necessary, I should assume it is. Thus, I say “thank you” a lot, and I’m always how caught off guard so many people are. There’s too little gratitude in this world, and far too few courageous enough to express that gratitude.
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Such great wisdom Erin. YOu’re so right. If you have to ask, it’s probably a good thing to just say thank you!!!! We all need to more gratitude in our life!!!
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What a wonderful thing you did Brian to go back to share that kind feedback with the staff. It speaks to your depth of character.
And yes, seeing our loved ones, especially children, go through a serious illness can make you feel so helpless and scared. I’m glad she pulled through.
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Yea, it was a a lot of different things happening all at the same time. Yes, I suspect you can relate to the feeling of helplessness that sometimes comes with parenting. Hang in there though . . . you do the best you can. It all seems to work out eventually!!!! 🙂 🙂
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I guarantee you that those nurses remembered you and your words. They may not have shown it to you at the time because they were at work, but they remembered. Your thank you meant the world to them. Thank yous always do.
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I hope it made their day . . . but I’ve found over the years that it doesn’t matter. It’s still good to say it. Thanks for reading Jennie.
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Yes, it is. You’re welcome, Brian.
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So glad the story had a happy ending. Amen to taking the time to count our blessings, big and small. When everything is right with our families, nothing else matters.
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Love how you phrased it Pete. When all is right with our families, nothing else matters!
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Thanks for sharing this story and for making your daughter’s caregiver day a little brighter! Thank Yous make the world a better place!
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Thanking your daughter’s nurses while you were still filled with emotional gratitude for her recovery would have made your appreciation more emphatic. They may have softened the compliment by saying that it was just their job, but your words surely warmed their hearts, Brian. 🙂
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