Dancing With Change

Posted on by Victoria

Our theme this month at Heart of the Matter is change.  As I mulled this topic over the past few days, I was drawn in by two quotes.

Both are well-known…a Chinese proverb about planting trees…. now….and a Seneca quote about beginnings and endings. (Both are snipped into the graphic above.  I love them – don’t you?)

January barks at me, commanding me to make way for growth – in part because I just celebrated a birthday which invariably prompts reflection, especially as I’ve grown older.  Dealing with my dual ambitions…my desire to be a positive influence (for myself, first and foremost) and for those around me creates tension about the realities of time and energy.  With each passing year, I feel the fleeting force when the calendar whips forward to January, like a cold breeze forcing me to confront the choices I make about how I use my most precious asset…. time.

Changes and choices. While making changes in priorities and being goal oriented means something gets left at the curb, to do so lovingly and without disdain is an act or personal evolution. I might pick you up, again, I muse…. or I might leave you and never return but I will remember…. the gifts you gave on the road to me becoming the tapestry of me.

Every thread and nuance matters but some of the interwoven experiences of my life were never meant to be carried. Their mission?  Simply to move me further, keep me warm with the knowledge of my potential.

If only this new year/new you annual dance was a two-step.  It’s not.  It’s like a 1930’s dance marathon.  Endurance style. Put on your comfy shoes, girl, because you’re gonna need to be nimble. 

Why?  Because stasis might be safer. That self-talk chatter in my head says, “Hold your place, your position.  It’s plenty good.  Don’t rock life’s equilibrium too much.”

That’s me if I leave my fear unchecked.  But this is the beginning of what I hope will be many ‘bonus years’…reflecting on the fact that I’m now one year older than my joy-filled father was when he passed away unexpectedly. The trick?  I need to goose myself forward with intention and get-tough language so I can avoid getting stuck in “good enough”.  I imagine myself walking boldly (yes, sauntering with a purpose) into 2024 because that’s where joy sits, waiting for me to arrive.  I vow to meet her in the middle, with my dance shoes on.

Finding confidence and momentum is no small feat (or feet?).  I’ve been reading Shane Parrish’s “Clear Thinking” and there are snippets I’ve earmarked as plain-spoken, useful advice.  I could critique him (how bold of me?!) because he borrows heavily from great thinkers in psychology, philosophy and business who’ve achieved success, but I won’t.  Some of his summaries and distillation wisdom are worth remembering, especially at the beginning of a new year:  

p. 49: “The path to being exceptional begins when you decide to be responsible for your actions no matter the situation.  Exceptional people know they can’t change the hand they’ve been dealt, and don’t waste time wishing for a better one.”

p. 26:  ….”when we try new approaches…we often proceed with so much trepidation that the smallest setback sends us back to the safety blanket of conformity.”

p. 31: “One reason we resist change is that keeping things the way they are requires almost no effort.  This helps explain why we get complacent. It takes a lot of effort to build momentum but far less to maintain it.  Once something becomes ‘good enough’, we can stop the effort and still get decent results…staying in our comfort zone, relying on old techniques or standards even when they’re no longer optimal.”

Exploring our uniqueness and creativity is one path that can guide and assist us as we adapt to ever-changing life circumstances. The antithesis of the stifling and blocking that Parrish describes this way:

p. 32 “…inertia closes minds and stifles the motivation to change how we’ve been doing things…makes it harder to imagine alternative methods, discourages experimentation…”

Experimentation, trial and error…the fearlessness to be creative and try.  I think Parrish’s thoughts provide inspiration.  Not unlike a favorite quote from the heavenly musical talent, Jon Batiste: 

“Making things is how I process what’s going on in my life.” 

Create.  Dance.  And for some of us? Write, write, write. The point is to make things. Make joy.

Hello, 2024!

Vicki 🥰

Photo Credit of Marathon Dancers:  Frank Micholowsky holds his exhausted sister and dance partner, Marie Micholowsky, after a marathon dance competition. BETTMAN/GETTY The Grim, Depression-Era Origins of Dance Marathons – Atlas Obscura

40 thoughts on “Dancing With Change”

  2. If writing is to be helpful to others or oneself, I look for those who write to say what has not been said (by Seneca, who you quoted, among others). I cannot say I have always followed my own advice in this, but the wisest writers seem either to have offered their wisdom long ago, or said something so beautifully or with such cleverness, that the best we can do is to put down our pens or our laptops and pickup a book, even if it is to read it again and think it over. Ecclesiastes reminded us “there is nothing new under the sun.”

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      1. I would be hard pressed to argue for my own uniqueness. I would agree, however, that our inner experience of life makes it easy to feel and think that no one else has lived a life like ours.

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  4. Oh Vicki, what a wonderful post! I think you will understand when I say that at this point in my life, I literally live to write, both for myself, and for whomever (whoever?) else may benefit. (I never could get those right!) In my world, there is nothing more meaningful nor important than that. Thank you for YOUR insightful, humorous, heart warming writings. You truly do lift my heart. ❤️

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    1. Juliaaaaaaahhhhhh….you have no idea how much your comment delights me. There is a stark vulnerability that we stare down when we write from the heart, and you’ve been such a sweet and endearing guiding force for me. Your beautiful book, “Voices” continues to be a source of encouragement to sing my own song. When we write about what’s in our heads and hearts it IS indeed daunting. Thank you for showing me it’s better to do it anyhow because the glimmers and gremlins within need to come out (one way…or another!).
      Happy Wednesday…with love! 🥰

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      1. See? That’s exactly why I love to write—to touch hearts and souls with other dear kindred spirits who get it! Thank you for being at the top of that list. What a beautiful comment, my dear friend. To you and all other like-minded souls who generously and courageously bare their souls and share their most intimate and innermost thoughts with others, I offer my sincere gratitude. Truly, there is no greater gift than that.

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  5. Thanks for the inspiration of dancing with change Vicky. Although I’ve reached the stage of life where l’ll no longer be able to one day sit in the shade of trees I plant today, I still find joy knowing someday others will.
    All the best as you embrace and dance in the changes 2024 holds for you.
    Keep Looking Up . . . His Best is Yet to Come!

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    1. Good morning, dear Fred. Thank you for that. I love your generational perspective of love, goodness and faith. You’ve brightened my day. All the best to you in 2024. 💕

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  6. What a beautiful and thought provoking post. My favorite quote of all are your own words: “With each passing year, I feel the fleeting force when the calendar whips forward to January, like a cold breeze forcing me to confront the choices I make about how I use my most precious asset…. time.”

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  7. Happy Recent Birthday, Vicki! Does that mean you’re a fellow Capricorn? I celebrated on the 30th, but I’m having difficulty reflecting this year. It’s either a little brain fog or about simply making time, but when I try—crickets. Maybe tomorrow. Still, I have a couple of intentions for January. At the end of this month, I’ll reassess. Someone said recently, progress over perfection.

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    1. Hey, birthday girl! Happy belated — and yep, we’re fellow Capricorns! I hear you about all of the new year, birthday convergence and trying to be reflective—it’s a lot! Can’t wait to hear about your 2024 intentions..whenever they arrive. Xo! 🥰

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  8. I love all these quotes Vicki. The joy of a new year is that extra boost of motivation and inspiration to seek change. But so much of it quickly fizzles out because we are wired to retreat to the security blanket of comfort at the first sight of failure. But those who become exceptional continue to push through the pain.

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  9. The Jon Batiste quote is brilliant. There really is something powerful about creativity as a means of processing. I love your little pep talk to move from stasis to a space of new and greater possibilities! It’s a tough leap, but one that we rarely regret. Cheers to a new year filled with infinite joy! xoxo 🥰

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    1. Morning, Erin! Yes…I love the Batiste quote, too. Not the first time someone offered that thought but given his musical brilliance and productivity it’s inspirational to hear him share something so simple and, honestly, adoptable by all of us – even if we don’t have his raw, immeasurable talent! And…I love your thought about taking a leap w/o regret. Cheers to THAT! 🥰

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  10. Ah, what a wonderful post, Vicki! Love the image of dancing with change and ALL the goodness of your perspective of creating movement. And clearly you are already landing the mission with writing, writing, writing. Love it! Make joy, indeed!

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  12. Oh I love so many things about this post. I love the focus on Time and Attitude. Yes, “goosing ourselves” in the right direction is a huge part of change. I love the quotes, but I think I loved yours more. I love to the focus on flexible. I’ve become convinced that Grit and Fortitude are extremely important, but right up next to them are flexibility and knowing when you need to weave instead of pushing through. Oh, and one more thing, love, love, love your ending: “Create. Dance. And for some of us? Write, write, write. The point is to make things. Make joy.” I can’t think of a better way to kickoff 2024.

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    1. Thank you so much, Brian. We’re gonna do great things in 2024…you and I are feeling like-minded and we’ll have the whole “Wednesday synergy” thing going for us. Can’t wait to see what you write next week…right here on the HoTM channel. Making things! 🥰

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  13. My head is in a similar place, Vicki. I frequently think of making the time count as I get older. I’m not fixated on age, but I’m also at that point in life where I intend to live with no regrets. No time wasted like the old days, building up my courage.

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