
A client (we’ll call her Ginger*) asked me recently about hands-on activities and the power of handwork, being productive, creating things and optimizing her mental health. She said she’d listened to a podcast about “effort driven rewards” and she was curious about what I thought.
First – I love that Ginger’s doing the good work to avail herself to intriguing self-care methods. I think it’s the best part of social media…media in general. Being able to scroll and skim and occasionally listen to a news-worthy take on how to live better. Yes, you need to shovel your way through some schlocky-stuff, but there are gems “out there”.
If you’re inclined, I say scroll at will, but don’t be afraid to swipe left to dismiss stupid sh*t. The unique process of healing and recovery will never be a ‘one size fits all’ and for this particular client, experimenting and being open to renewal outlets is worth her time. More importantly, it suits her personality.
Hilariously, Ginger’s regaled me with stories about her previous attempts at ‘hand work’ – knitting…or crocheting…with varying degrees of success. So much so that her mound of unfinished projects began taunting her recently and she felt compelled to box up her supplies and move them out of sight.
“I had good intentions”, Ginger said. She started slow – hats and mittens – but took a big leap when she promised handknit sweaters for family members as Christmas gifts, not reckoning out the intricacies of sleeves, don’tcha know.
Actually, I don’t. Know – that is. I gave up all forms of crafty-knitting-crochet-needlepoint-sewing when my dearly departed mom in law, the original patron saint of patience, told me “None of this is for you” after repeated bouts of trying to teach me…followed by “let’s bake cookies”. Now you’re talking, Maxine. As a newly-married girl trying to make nice with the MIL, I tried. I really tried. But baking was always a better bet for all concerned.
Back to Ginger. She apologized to friends and family with mittens…loads of mittens – when the aforementioned oversized sweaters didn’t make the scene for Christmas. True to form, Ginger wasn’t idle for long, moving on to household repairs with the start of the new year.
Turns out Ginger understands what to do with a broken toaster oven and she knew precisely how to shore up a wonky table leg. Just enough so her teacup wouldn’t totter. (Teetering teacups are okay, she said. But it’s the tottering that results in clean-up. Who knew?) In case you’re wondering, my attempts at leveling out tables involves pads of post-it notes. Ginger’s? She took the entire table apart and used actual tools. Go, girl, go!
When we talked last week, I answered her question about “effort driven rewards”. Eventually. 😉 Our chats are like that and (I think) we both enjoy the ramble as we get to the heart of each convo. I shared that I AM, indeed, a believer in the neuroscience behind effort driven activities because I think the research is sound. I rolled back to my favorite resource about the brain’s healing power, “Lifting Depression”, from Dr. Kelly Lambert. It’s not new…I think my copy is from 2010, but her plain-spoken discussion of hands-on activities clicked for me – then and now – especially the reminders that handwork is akin to bathing your brain in feel good chemicals.
Recently, Wynne and I had the pleasure and privilege of presenting about creativity and resilience and my chat with dear Ginger aligned beautifully with the intentions of our workshop. Finding pathways to self-care, to build resilience and lean into creativity – the literal creation of whatever suits your soul – is a recognized route to gain agency and motivation. Seeing our capabilities, right in front of our eyes. Dr. Lambert’s book is just one of many, many examples but I was glad her work popped to mind as I talked with Ginger.
True to form, my clients often offer the best summary statements. “So basically, it’s good to get moving and make stuff. It’s legit, huh?” Yep. Legit. I’d say so, but dear readers, you’ll always know what’s best for you.
Big smiles…
Vicki 🥰
*Yep…”Ginger” knows I’m writing about our convo and she approved this message.
Just for fun: Maxine’s Gingersnaps
Wynne & Vicki in Workshop Mode: Revel Eleven – Creativity and Resilience Workshop
💕
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🙂
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Xo! ❤️
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As you suggest, Vicki, the internet has everything good and bad. It’s a shame Ginger doesn’t use a better source or sources, but she had the wisdom to consult you. Good for her!
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Ah…thank you for that, Dr. Stein. I think Ginger could teach us all a few things about resiliency and sifting through options to find what works best. She’s a delight, for sure. 🥰
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What a great story about finding the right effort to get the reward. And for the record, I’m with Ginger. Home repair over needlework any day! And your description of your wonderful conversations – so good. Beautiful! ❤ ❤ ❤
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Thanks for all of that, Wynne. And heck yah…you can handle ALL the home repair chores. You amaze me. (And Mr. D.’s not far behind you…he knows what to do with tools – already – and he and Miss O can probably eclipse my skills in needlework, too!) 🥰🤣🥰
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“It’s good to get moving and make stuff.” Yes, yes, yes! That’s the panacea for just about everything, isn’t it?
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You know it…and the awareness grows the older I get. Move…and be grateful I can do so. Times a wastin’ – get going! xo, Erin! 🥰
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Knitting sweaters or knitting broken table legs – nope, neither for me, but I’m with you with the baking and I love to write and paint and help out wherever and as much as I can. You said it, activity = good brain chemicals! Sort of therapy in motion.
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Whoa….therapy in motion! Those are three fabulous words! Thank you, Michael…I might need to borrow those for some future post. And I’d forgotten that you paint….hmmm…maybe you need to provide an update about that and your artistry? 🥰
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Feel free to borrow. My words are your words.
Thank you for that suggestion. May be I will soon. Happy Heart Day!
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Same to you, dear friend! I’ll look forward to your post! 🥰
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I love your last paragraph so much it warrants repetition 🙏🏼 …
“True to form, my clients often offer the best summary statements. “So basically, it’s good to get moving and make stuff. It’s legit, huh?” Yep. Legit. I’d say so, but dear readers, you’ll always know what’s best for you.”
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You’re making me smile, smile, smile, Margaret! Thank you so much. 🥰
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Go Ginger. A good reminder for me today: get moving and make stuff. Just the lesson I needed today.
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Nah! You are one of the most productive people I know! 😉
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Nah, I fake it. Ha, ha.
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LOL! Ummm…I disagree! 😜
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My daughter learned how to crochet the past few years and it helped her through the COVID isolation days. She’s always been crafty, making mosaics, painting and now crocheting. I’m with you on baking versus knitting. I do know how to knit cotton dishrags though.
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Your sweet daughter is so very talented! And hey! Your cotton dishrags sound fab…more than I can create, for sure! 🥰
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Thank you! My mom and I learned the dishrag pattern from one of her friends and we’d sit together and knit them. I love those memories.
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Super sweet — I love tangible handcrafts that connect us to our loved ones. 🥰❤️🥰
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That’s so well stated. Thank you! 💕
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Big hugs! 🥰
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😊
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I like your one size doesn’t fit all approach, Vicki. Sift through the crap and hopefully find something useful.
Most children learn best through hands-on learning, but I also know there are kids who get frustrated with that style because their brains don’t work that way.
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Appreciate your point, Pete. Yes, yes. Thanks for that! 🥰
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I know I feel the best when I’m doing or creating! This is so good – “Finding pathways to self-care, to build resilience and lean into creativity – the literal creation of whatever suits your soul – is a recognized route to gain agency and motivation.”
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Thank you, Mary. Have I told you lately how much I appreciate your positivity? I do! 🥰
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Making stuff-that is a therapy that is at least worth a try!
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Love hearing Ginger’s story! And there really is something gratifying and soul filling about just getting up and doing stuff, whether it’s with our words, hands, low tech or very digitally tech!
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So true! Just do it! 🥰😜🥰
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My younger daughter has always had busy hands, even as a child. She’s a prolific knitter when she sets her mind to it, and a 1000-piece puzzle takes a couple of days. That’s how we came to the realization that apprenticeship was a better choice for her than university.
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I love that…yes! Makes sense, doesn’t it!? You’ve got talented girls, mama! 🥰
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Thanks, Vicki. Yes, they’re both smart and talented but oh so different from each other! 💚
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🥰❤️🥰
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All the research I’ve seen on staying healthy says to just keep moving and doing stuff- we were built for that! 💪🏻
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Love that point! Yah! Don’t stop! 🥰😜🥰
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Lovely reminder, thank you
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The added bonus to doing crafty type stuff is that people love the gifts they receive.
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Right on, Bernie! Thank you for that. 🥰❤️🥰
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