The search for Bosom Buddies

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

Several years ago, a friend and coworker called me out of the blue and before I even had time to say hello, she was greeting me with the latest news. “Did you see the note I just sent you? Can you believe it? Another freaking org change? Can you believe this crap?”

We were off to the races.

We talked a mile a minute on the latest work news, family news, and everything else going on in each other’s life. I would start one topic and she would chime in leading us in an altogether different direction. We were several miles away in different offices, but we could have just as easily been sitting across from each other in a friendly coffee shop or conference room.

My hands were flying every which way and we were both talking over and around each other. If someone was trying to follow our conversation, they would have looked like they were a spectator at Wimbledon or the U.S. Open, their head would have been following back and forth like they were following a tennis ball, trying to keep up with the two of us.

“Oh yea, that’s a great point,” I jumped in quickly when my friend gave me some advice on a work issue that had been nagging me. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Make new friends, but keep the old

We could have easily talked for hours, but we both had to run to a meeting. Close friendships like that are special. Business consultant Simon Sinek describes friendships as finding “someone with whom protocol is no longer necessary.” President Woodrow Wilson called friendship “the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”

I find another term helpful. For two seasons from November 1980 to March 1982, ABC television in the U.S. brought the term “Bosom Buddies” back into the American lexicon with their sit-com starring Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari, as two single guys, trying to make it in a tough advertising field, in the middle of a big city, while disguising themselves as women in order to live in the one apartment they could afford.

Yes, when you find a bosom buddy, it’s something special. In today’s fast-paced, social media world, finding and nurturing great friends, especially as adults, can be a challenging task. It takes a lot of work. I find often that it’s one step forward, two steps backwards.

I think I’ve made progress, but something happens that makes me second guess myself or the friendship. It can be just like . . . well Bosom Buddies.

…One is silver and the other gold

Despite my sometimes shy, standoffish ways, I’ve been fortunate over the years to have a handful of friends whom I’ve been able to call-up on a spur of the moment without reservation and trade opinions and advice. They are the type of friends that you may not see for months on end and then pick-up and chat on the phone for hours, sharing long forgotten stories and experiences. They are the type of friends who know instantly your foibles, flaws and idiosyncrasies and like you anyway. They’re the friends, you really can call up out of the blue for a tow or to pick your “sorry ass” up off the ground.

For me, these have been the trusted friends that I can be the most open and vulnerable. I can tell them deep personal insights. I can let my guard down and show them a draft of something I’m working on. They’ll call me for advice on how to handle something with a child or family member. The conversation comes naturally and never feels forced.

It’s the kind of conversations that you never want to end.

Friends forever, we will always be

I got together recently with a long time friend and even though we come from different races and backgrounds, we raced through a number of challenging topics, including the types of subjects that usually are off-limits at work or in mixed company: politics, race, crime, or even family to cite a few of them.

We touched on the November election; the craziness of today’s politics; Israel and Gaza, and even simple topics like the hot weather gripping our area. I have the deepest respect though for my friend because he rarely lets me off the hook, forcing the two of us to face conversations head-on and in direct manner. For example, when I touched lightly on a particular politically-charged topic, probing but hitting just the edges, my friend told me to shut-up and tell him what I really thought.

Do you want me to shut up or tell you? Yes, I noted the irony too. Oh, he wasn’t letting my humor get me off the hook, he wanted to hear what I really thought.

As I’ve gotten older,  I’ve come to place even more value on these friendships. I’ve recognized how rare they really are. I value them because they allow me to admit that despite my best of intentions and all the bluster that I can muster, I don’t have all the answers. I need people.

No, I don’t have all the solutions, but these conversations help me to open my eyes and see an issue or challenge through the eyes, or better yet, the shoes of another person. We need more of these conversations. I know I do. Here’s hoping the rest of world recognizes that they need these conversations too.

Thank you friend.

What do you love most about long-time friendships and relationships?

….

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” —Walter Winchell

 “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” —Unknown

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” —Elbert Hubbard

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

….

Please join in on the discussion. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read my companion piece. You can follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

Images by Pexels.

37 thoughts on “The search for Bosom Buddies”

  1. I have a few of these friends and it always feels like you just saw each other even if it’s been a year even it’s been more than a year. You just pick up right where you left off. You’re so comfortable with each other that the time and place does not have any effect on your relationship these are very special relationships to be treasured.

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  2. I love Sinek’s definition of friendship. It is a blessing to have those relationships when protocol is not needed and you can be your open self without judgment and with acceptance. That’s a gift indeed. Bosom buddy is a nice way to put it!

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  3. Pingback: Looking for my front row seat – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  4. Oh my goodness. So good, Brian, on so many levels. I’m with you. I don’t need a lot of people in my life as chosen friends…the type you describe where you can go anywhere…and everywhere…in a conversation and its fluid and fabulous. I feel so fortunate. And where have I been? This friendship quote from Woodrow Wilson: “the only cement that will ever hold the world together”. Wow. Thanks for that…and of course the throw-back moments to my dad’s favorite goofball show in the early 80’s. 🥰😜🥰

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  5. On my 16th birthday, my father sat my friends and I down and told us that friendships are the greatest gifts of all. He brought us all to tears, and I’m happy to say that many of those friendships still remain.

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  6. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences with friendships and the poignant quotes. This one by Ralph Waldo Emerson has always stuck with me: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” 🙂

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  8. A couple of good friends is better than a stadium full of adoring fans. There is nothing better than a good and solid friendship. To have a good friend however, you have to be a good friend. So you evidently are one Brian.
    I actually made a video about this some time ago. Here’s the link.

    Feel free to delete the link if you wish.

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  9. Keep doing what you are doing, Brian. I am lucky to have several friends who go back to grade school and high school. They lived in the same moment in history, knew the same people, in the same place, under the same circumstances. Priceless.

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  10. Oh, I love this post so much, Brian! Those deep friendships where we can arrive with nothing in our pockets and still feel worth something. You do such a fabulous job describing what friendship is and what it does for us is so good! “Friendship is the glue that holds the world together.” You’re right – we need more glue!

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  11. Great post that sums of close friends or bosom buddies so well. I have a few that I don’t see for a few years and when we’re together, it as though we’re back in college and no time has passed.

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  13. We’ve got to treasure those long-time friends, Brian. I take pride is being that person who organizes friend group gatherings (near and far). If someone doesn’t take charge, these get-togethers don’t happen. It’s my way of showing my friends how important they are to me. People often say, “We need to do this more often.”

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  14. I’m an introvert so I have a few close friends, then am acquaintances with many other people. I just made reference to Bosom Buddies yesterday on Threads. Funny I’d see it mentioned here.

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  16. I have not seen my very best friend (of 40 years) for over a decade but we talk and stay in contact through messenger and sometimes phone calls. It’s like we have never been apart or live such a distance from each other. It’s amazing how friendships like this can immediately zip into action when together.

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  17. My mom loved “Bosom Buddies.” I can still hear the characters’ high-pitched “Who is it?” whenever somebody knocked on the door. Is it hopelessly outdated now? Yep. But was it funny as hell at the time? Also yep.

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