Talking the same language?

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

I got up from my desk and walked to the office kitchen. I wasn’t really hungry, but I was trying to take my mind off the waiting. I can be as impatient as they come. Unexpected down time tends to eat me up. It doesn’t help when someone has been inconsiderate of my time and I’m waiting for a response from a client.

For example, several years ago, a client asked for my assistance. The firm needed help creating a project plan with a lengthy list of dependencies. In an early planning session, I pointed out a large number of risks. I emphasized to the senior leader in charge of the project that a key communication near the launch date would need his prompt attention. (It wasn’t something that could be created well in advance of the launch date. It was going to be created the day-of the launch.)

Oh, yes, yes, I was guaranteed, I would have the senior leader’s attention. As I mentioned, this happened years ago, but the response is still fresh in my mind. I can still see the assurances and nods of approval from the other people sitting around the conference room table. I believe the exact wording I was given was: “This is a priority. We’ll give you whatever you need.”

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Say that again!

Let me repeat that again: “whatever you need.”

Yes, yes, famous last words. Oh, they won’t go down in history as the most famous. Others certainly have more staying power:

  • Before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later, Winston Churchill said, “I’m bored with it all.”
  • Marie Antoinette stepped on her executioner’s foot on her way to the guillotine and asked for forgiveness, “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.”
  • Iconic Mexican Artist Frida Kahlo recorded her thoughts in her diary before dying in 1954, “I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.”
  • There’s lots of debate on Julius Caesar famous last words, but he’s believed to have said, “Et tu, Brute?”, which is Latin for “You too, Brutus?” William Shakespeare used the line to famously describe Caesar’s assassination by Roman senators, including his friend Brutus.

But, oh I digress. The executive’s last words certainly were damning, because when it came time to send out the communications, I couldn’t locate him to save my life. How’s that for an ironic last word?

Instead, I found myself staring, first at the office refrigerator and then later the vending machine. I couldn’t make up my mind: stick to a healthy granola bar or scarf down a sugar-filled candy bar? Yes, the Snickers staring back at me won that battle easily.

Of course, I was waiting for information and a key approval I was guaranteed I would have.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Killing time

We all have different ideas of what it means to be prompt and on time. Time as they say is relative. To me “prompt” means to be done without delay, swift, instantaneous. You get the picture, it means “immediate.”

The lack of promptness bothered me even more because the change was going to touch hundreds of everyday folks. The change was going to impact their jobs in big and small ways. They deserved to learn the news as soon as possible. I didn’t want them to wait to hear it from others.

Prompt meant one thing for me. For my client, though, it meant something else completely. For him, prompt meant getting back within 24 hours. Um, hello?

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Pressed for time

We all have different ideas of the words we use. I felt like I was speaking English and he was speaking French. Writer John Gray in his 1992 Best Seller, Men are from Mars and Women from Venus, argued that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences. He stated that each sex is acclimated to its own planet’s society and customs, but not to those of the other.

I’m not sure about Gray’s thoughts on the sexes. He could be right, he could be wrong, I don’t know. But, his theory certainly explained my client. The business leader was speaking a completely different language.

In the end, I’ve come to realize that I can drive myself crazy getting upset. But what does that solve?

I can only strive to do the best I can. We each carry our own accountability and responsibility.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Time flies

Language and the way we talk about time have an odd connection to creativity. They remind me constantly to make sure I’m clear about deadlines. And to listen for understanding, so that I understand what others needs are as well. Moreover, they show the importance of standing up for ourselves and protecting our time.

So the question begs: how did this situation end?

The business executive got back to me six hours later. He didn’t just miss a deadline. He crashed it into a wall and the grandstand. His decision created more than a few problems.

Fortunately, though, I had my hunch that things might go south and built in some wiggle room in the schedule to protect the team and workers. It doesn’t always work that nicely in real life, but it worked in this situation.

Yes, yes, time and communication are both very much relative. It’s good to remember that they are not constant for everyone, but dependent on the observer’s frame of reference.

Oh, what a wonderful day.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

. . . . . . . . .

Check out my personal lifestyle blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read other pieces by me. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian. Thanks for reading.

30 thoughts on “Talking the same language?”

  2. Pingback: Everybody’s talking, nobody’s listening – Writing from the Heart with Brian

  3. You won! It sounds like you knew who you were dealing with front and back. Sometimes victory is a bit delayed, but congrats despite everything, Brian.

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    1. I had my suspicions. I was just worried how any delays would impact other workers. I knew going in that this leader wasn’t known for his EQ skills and knew that I would need to tread lightly. It wasn’t a perfect rollout but I was able to prevent a positive turning into a negative!!! 🤣🤣😆😆😆

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  5. Oh, I love this story and all the wisdom interwoven. Especially, “Language and the way we talk about time have an odd connection to creativity. They remind me constantly to make sure I’m clear about deadlines. And to listen for understanding, so that I understand what others needs are as well. Moreover, they show the importance of standing up for ourselves and protecting our time.”

    Creativity, leadership, listening, boundaries – all so good. And timely!

    And those last lines are golden! Great post, Brian!

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  7. You were wise to create the wiggle room and to eat the stress-relieving Snickers bar-it’s bigger. Here’s a defining sentence using both the words “promptly” and “immediately”: When you need to use the bathroom immediately, you promptly race to the restroom-you don’t wait six hours. 🙂

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  10. I’ve always been impatient waiting for approval or corrections on projects. People really do see time differently and it can be frustrating. Good for you to build in wiggle room. I had one client that I did a newsletter for. He was so slow on approvals that most of it was out of date before it went to print. This was back in the day of blue lines. Also, he’d wait to make changes until he was reviewing the blue line.

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  11. you clearly knew who you were working with on this and built in extra time, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating. people who are habitually late make me feel like they feel their time is more important than mine, but it could just be me taking it too personally.

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  12. You have good soft skills Brian that allowed you navigate that situation and to build in that buffer that helped supports other through a potential mistake made by the unpunctual executive!

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  13. It’s one thing when someone’s inaction only affects them, but I can see why you felt the added pressure and annoyance since it affected so many other people.

    Speaking of annoying waiting of time moments, is there anything worse than when we sit around all day looking for a repair person who is scheduled to come to our house during some six hour block of time, and then we get a phone call sometime near the end telling us, they’re going to have to reschedule?

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  14. I love those famous last word quotes!

    Some of my family members say that when I say “I’ll do it.“- that means I will actually do it correctly and in a prompt manner. But apparently when I say “I’ll get it then”- that means I’m not going to do it at all 😳😅 😱 I was not aware of this subtlety, but now that it was brought to my attention, I try to choose my words carefully. I still use both phrases, but now everyone involved knows what I mean, including myself. 😁

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