Bundle of Whose Joy?

Posted on by Wynne Leon

The phrase “bundles of joy” makes me think of bringing my kids home from the hospital. My mind zooms to that hot August afternoon when I walked out of the automatic doors of the hospital with Miss O strapped into the car carrier for the very first time. My mom pulled the car around and I gingerly climbed into the passenger seat with my emergency C-section incision pulling at me, all the while a little stunned at how messy this all was: giving birth, the baby herself, the state of my body, and my mind’s idea of what came next.

I was a less stunned when I brought Mr. D home from the hospital, partially because it was a planned C-section that time, and also because I knew to expect chaos that time. Now as I prepare to bring a puppy home this week, another type of bundle of joy, I’ve begun to wonder – whose joy?

Are children and puppies called bundles of joy because they are filled with joy? Or is it the joy that they bring to families and friends as they expand our hearts in limitless direction?

My conclusion from watching my two is that it might be both. Kids seem to be filled with joy because reality hasn’t tamped it down yet. They come with an exuberance and energy that is so expansive that it doesn’t matter if they waste some. And they expect anything and everything because they haven’t learned not to. Of course, reality seeps in over time but with any good luck, hopefully it will co-exist with joy instead of squashing it down.

And parents get the gift of a bundle of joy in a parallel fashion. Somewhere in the hope and desire to give kids a better life than we had, we expand the boundaries of our own. I remember in the moments of first witnessing the new life of my children feeling as if my heart had grown ten sizes just to try to accommodate the endless love. There was a related lesson in there that showed me that what I previously thought was finite, how much I could love, was infinite.

My kids keep giving me that lesson, not only because they’ve given me plenty of opportunities to expand my love, patience, and energy in the incredibly hard work of parenting, but also because the boundaries of what defines me have been permanently expanded. I think this is most apparent to me when parents provide unhealthy examples of pride or shame based on what their kids do. But it seems to be present in healthy ways too when we see the ripples of what we’ve given our kids, especially in values and foundation, at work in the choices they make.

It seems that when we tell others that the world is their oyster, we practice believing that too. To quote Gandhi, “The fragrance always remains on the hand that gives the rose.”

I’ve written a related piece about encouraging kids on my personal blog: Try, Try, and Try Again.

(featured photo from Pexels)

49 thoughts on “Bundle of Whose Joy?”

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    1. Love this! At a recent kiddo birthday party, one of my sisters and I road the back of a little-kid train and took in all the joy and exuberance in the cars ahead of us. We reflected together on when we lost that, and then shared a sense of wonder and gratitude to get to–thanks to all those kids’ loud joy, emanating off them in wiggles and hollers!–get to touch in on it again. Every little bit really does expand the heart and future capacity in small but important ways. ❤

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  5. There’s so much here that my heart loves so, so much, but one sentence in particular hit me right at the core: “Somewhere in the hope and desire to give kids a better life than we had, we expand the boundaries of our own.”

    YES!!! In my last therapy appointment, my therapist said, “You have broken the cycle” and I burst into ugly-sobbing to both hear and know I am fulfilling the “hope and desire to give [my] kids a better life.” Except … it may not be “ugly-sobbing” so much as “heart-bursting-open sobbing.” The latter feels truer, in this moment.

    So many thanks in my heart for this post and my heart. Day in and day out, I find my ability to perspective–and act with the thus-improved perspectiving!–thereby improved. ❤

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    2. There is so much goodness in this piece, but I was also particularly struck by: “Somewhere in the hope and desire to give kids a better life than we had, we expand the boundaries of our own.” Beautiful!!! Kids seem to view the world through a lens of magic, joy, and mystery and, even though I don’t have kids, it makes me want to embrace and boost that joy, while also helping to remove obstacles to that unbridled hope for future generations.

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    3. I love the broken the cycle comment from your therapist – it seems so true from your writing and your parenting descriptions. But dang, that is hard to do. I’m laughing about your ugly-sobbing comment – but you’ve earned every heart-bursting tear!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  6. Oh, Wynne, you knew I’d have to throw some sarcastic humor into the mix. You ask, whose joy? It’s a marketing ploy by the diaper companies to sell more disposable products. 🤭🤭🤭 Of course, I’m just kidding. Newborns are so beautiful and a true gift from God. I do remember the craziness that we went through those first few weeks, trying to get our footing. I remember worrying about doing something that would negatively impact my babies for years to come. Of course, all they wanted was to be loved! God’s way of reaching down and giving us a hug. Beautiful piece. Thank you. And good luck with bringing home your canine bundle of joy! I’m sure it’s going to go great! The worst that can happen: you get a month’s worth of blogs out of the experience.😎😎🐶😎😎😎

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    1. Ha, ha, ha, Brian. You know the quip about what diaper spelled backwards is – repaid! 🙂 And you are right on with the month’s worth of blog posts with a puppy – I might even stretch that out to two months or all year… 🙂

      And I love your phrase, “God’s way of reach down and giving us a hug.” Yes! So beautiful! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  7. Another sweet and thoughtful post, Wynne. I especially love the line about how kids come with “an exuberance and energy that is so expansive that it’s ok if they waste some”. My grandson’s face appeared in my mind’s eye when I read that. Great line!

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  8. We both went through two C-sections. We lived less than a mile from the hospital and it was the longest drive home in my life. I love the thought that our children are bundles of joy because “they expand our hearts in limitless direction.”

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      1. You captured that feeling of driving home with the first born perfectly. My anxiety started when the nurse took my bundle of joy out of my arms while I was in the wheel chair. Then she tripped on the curb and baby flew up in the air! My husband caught him like a football. Then we struggled with the car seat. I think my husband drove two mile an hour on the way home!

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      2. Oh my goodness – what a story about the nurse tossing your baby. Your husband sounds fantastic – but I bet he could have just ridden on his laurels for that one for the rest of his days! And the car seat, yes! It seems so fine in theory but the in practice. Whew!

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  9. I’ve always wondered when that moment comes as we age that we forget to simply experience life in an open way? I think this post today is a great example of my rather silly look at cynicism and that happiness quiz from my blog last week. Some people would use the word jaded I think, to describe that shift over time. The longer we are entrenched in that system the harder it becomes to remember what children see everyday.

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    1. Don’t you think we get focused on getting things done and forget to just do silly stuff? Like I overheard a video that Miss O was watching – it was a girl trying to put 100 floaties in a pool. Now why would anyone ever do that? 🙂 🙂 But that must be part of the “experiencing life in an open way” that you were talking about! I think you said it perfectly – we are entrenched in the system!

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      1. Good way to put it Wynne- “entrenched in the system” of growing up with adult responsibilities. I think that happens for all of us but maybe at different times…sooner for some than others and I wonder if the timing is tied to life circumstances? Ironically I didn’t intend to journey down this path but your post has me thinking and pondering on lots of angles 😉

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      2. Thinking and pondering from all angles is one of your amazing strengths! I bet you are right that the timing depends on life circumstances. A huge amount of variability there!

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  10. I agree with you that it’s a bit of both – they are filled with joy because of the innocence they experience life with and because of the joy that parenting them comes with.

    A lovely reflection on this long weekend. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend!

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    1. I think we are ready, Julia! At least every day we are practicing picking up our stuff left randomly on the floor. Like shoes and socks…

      Thank goodness you can’t wait to hear about it because clearly I’m intent on telling about it. 🙂 Even though puppies don’t talk in a conventional sense, I think the added benefit is that they have a lot to teach! 🙂 ❤ ❤

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      1. So true. This puppy is already teaching his brother and sister to be mindful about picking up after themselves, and he hasn’t even arrived yet! His presence will fill your lives with a wealth of opportunity for learning, growing, laughing, loving, patience and blogging. And pictures—don’t forget the pictures! Su doggie mi doggie. May I be his godmother?

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      2. “Su doggie mi doggie” – I love it, Julia. You have seemingly endless amounts of delight! Absolutely you can be his godmother (I first typed dogmother in a wonderful “accident”)! And when we do the cross-country road trip in a camper van (I haven’t figure out yet how to do this but I will), we’ll bring Cooper to see you!

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  13. Your two ‘bundles of joy’ gifts have provided you a laser focus in your life by showing you what your life is really about. And I am so excited your next ‘bundle of dog- joy’ will be arriving shortly, just in time to celebrate U.S. National Dog Day on August 26!

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  14. “…all the while a little stunned at how messy this all was: giving birth, the baby herself, the state of my body, and my mind’s idea of what came next.” This made me smile. Babies certainly are messy. I remember feeling like a zombie for months after my oldest was born, yet happy and joyful at the same time.

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