The Balance Between In and Out

Posted on by Wynne Leon

When we arrived at my favorite beach on Whidbey Island this past Friday afternoon, I just felt myself exhale. All the unidentified stuff that I’d been holding close seem to come out: The co-worker that is spinning out, the lawn repair that I try to squeeze in before we left, the residue from a too busy week.

And then on top of that, the things on the news in the last week. The middle school kids that stole a car for gang initiation that ended in a police chase, and the apologies that they’ve offered. The 18-year-old kid that drove 126 mph and killed three kids when he ran a red light and t-boned another car.

Here’s the thing I realized – when I get tight, I don’t exhale fully. I keep it in. I know from my climbing days, that if you want to take a full breath, you need to first move the old air out. Often we aren’t even aware we aren’t emptying our lungs fully.

It made me think of the Ujayyi breath. The outbreath in yoga and meditation that it supposed to sound like Darth Vader breathing. It’s a balancing and calming breath. What I like about it is that I have the sense of moving things out. The sound is part of the magic that helps me focus on it.

When life gets hectic for me, I start to have the sense that I’m puffing up like a balloon. I take life in, keep moving, hold this and that thought for later until it feels like I’ve absorbed 30 things in without letting anything out.

I know I’m saying this to a bunch of writers so I expect that we more or less practice process life by writing it out. I love that – it gives me a chance to be deep and thoughtful about a topic – even if it’s in my journal. [By the way, Edward Ortiz wrote a great post about journaling last week.] Or to borrow our blogging friend, David, it gives the swirly stuff in my brain a place to land.

But when I am holding it in, sometimes writing isn’t enough. I need to laugh, dance, or move lest my balloon start leaking air in ways I don’t intend. It’s funny that sometimes the easiest way to remove the barrier between me and the world, between me and showing up, is a simple exhale.

So grateful for the people, places, and practices that help me balance that out breath to match the in breath. And now I’m ready to begin again.

31 thoughts on “The Balance Between In and Out”

  1. What an idyllic beautiful scene, Wynne. The Darth Vader breathing technique sounds interesting! 😆 All kidding aside, I agree that it’s healthy to let things go – rather than to hold it in and burst like an overinflated balloon.

    Life gets hard, busy and complicated and thankfully we can have those opportunities to exhale and take a new life sustaining breath in.

    Hope this week is calmer!

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  3. “Ready to begin again”…gosh, that’s kind of everything. Especially in the morning. Your sweet post and beautiful photo provided just the right oomph to get me moving. 🥰

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  5. Amen! I can so relate to this Wynne. Yes, writing is my main outlet, but the world can still sometimes be too much. It can be the news, local events, other’s struggles. It’s like I need to remember to let out “a simple exhale.” I appreciate the reminder!

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  6. Yes, yes, so incredibly important. When I went for a massage, the therapist said, ‘your body is so tight.’ And she didn’t mean it in a positive toned way. It helped me to see that I’d been carrying things that were getting too heavy and that I needed to set them down. What you are doing is the perfect salve

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  8. What a wonderful place to escape to and breathe! That was how I viewed the beach in Mexico that we went to every three or four months. But I am too nervous to go back now. They found seven bodies on the road to town. There are two cartels battling out the human smuggling trade. Yikes!
    Now I’m settling on walks in nature. I’ll remember to breathe!

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    1. Oh, I’m so sorry that violence has made going back hard. I wouldn’t want to visit either.

      But I love how you’ve got an alternative. I suspect you know quite a bit about breathing as a swimmer.

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  10. I also do this to the point that it affects my sleep. Letting go of all of the troubling personal and illogical stuff going on in the world is hard to process. Can you imagine all of the lives (including theirs) changed forever by the kids who drove that car recklessly.

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  14. Stunning photo, Wynne! I’m so glad you were able to get away. I think so many of us are guilty failing to exhale fully. Last year, I saw a pelvic floor therapist for abdominal pain and 95% of the PT was breathing deeply into diaphragm. It feels good, and natural, but I think we forgot how natural that deep breathing. Thanks for the timely reminding, dear friend. 🧡

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  16. I feel so connected to the sea and beaches as I used to live on the coast back in the UK. I miss it so much and it’s healing and restorative properties. I need to release some things I have realised I am holding on to, and I felt myself exhale a bit just reading this!

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