In Good Company

Posted on by Victoria

In his recent Heart of the Matter podcast, Dr. Gerald Stein referenced the practice of Tikkun Olam, the name drawn from the Kabbalah to describe making a difference and healing the world. Part of a collective. 

A greater good. 

I have been unable to stop thinking about Tikkun Olam and found myself re-reading Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen’s beautiful book, “My Grandfather’s Blessings”.  It’s a favorite inspirational volume.  True-to-form, my copy is pretty beaten up. Margin notes and post-its throughout, and I keep it close.  In my stack beloved books that I reach for when I’m in the mood for a soul boost. 

The practice of Tikkun Olam, being responsible, being active, being aware reminds me that my single-minded pursuit of answers, conclusions, is often ill-fated.  When I slow down and try to dispense with my daily worries, engage in a thoughtful practice of gratitude, my drive to seek answers becomes less important.

I’ve Learned:

Life is about being responsive to the unfolding. The coalescing with other like-minded people creates synergy and boosts my sense of purpose, no matter what the challenge might be.

Dr. Remen wrote:

Perhaps real wisdom lies in not seeking answers at all.  Any answer we find will not be true for long.  An answer is a place where we can fall asleep as life moves past us to its next question.  After all these years I have begun to wonder if the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.

-My Grandfather’s Blessings, p. 338

Good company, indeed. In-person friends and family, blogging buddies, readers, writers. We are storytellers, weaving the past into the future as we share and listen. Dr. Remen said it beautifully in her book, “Kitchen Table Wisdom”:

Everybody is a story.  When I was a child, people sat around kitchen tables and told their stories.  We don’t do that so much anymore.  Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time.  It is the way wisdom gets passed along.  The stuff that helps us live a life worth remembering.

-Kitchen Table Wisdom, Introduction, xxxvii

Thanks for being good company around this virtual kitchen table.

Vicki 😊

Rachel Naomi Remen, MD (rachelremen.com)

Episode 60: The Perils of Prediction with Dr. Gerald Stein – The Heart of the Matter (sharingtheheartofthematter.com)

33 thoughts on “In Good Company”

  2. How I love the wisdom of this wisdom! It makes me sad to think that cell phones have replaced kitchen tables and block access to the wonder and wisdom of those who have gone before us and shaped our lives. Thank goodness we have each other!

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    1. Ohhh…that’s an insight right there. Cell phones and digital distractions of all sorts. Yup. “Blocking access to wonder and wisdom”. Wowza. Thanks for being you, Jules. 🥰

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  3. Dr. Remen’s comment on kitchen table wisdom reminds me of a sign we have in our kitchen: “The fondest memories are made while gathered ’round the table.” It reminds me too of the best Father’s Day present I ever got. One year everyone was home and we were all sharing breakfast. Breakfast lasted for four hours with most of the time spent talking and teasing each other. The kids had set aside everything on their schedules just to be together with me. It was the best.

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    1. A four-hour breakfast? Be still my heart. Love that. It’s the gathering and the lingering…so, so good. And I love the sign in your kitchen. Not surprised. A family motto! 🥰

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  4. Oh, this is such an amazing lesson, “Life is about being responsive to the unfolding. The coalescing with other like-minded people creates synergy and boosts my sense of purpose, no matter what the challenge might be.”

    You have started my morning off right as I practice gratitude for this beautiful post and for like-minded people who create synergy. Amazing, dear Vicki! ❤

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  5. “Everybody is a story.” Love this! I’ve found that where we’re curious about others and ask those questions, it’s a great way to connect deeply but also share (or collect) wisdom. A win-win all-around, and this place is the perfect kitchen table to host the gathering. 😊

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  6. There is so much wisdom to unfold here. I love the Kitchen Table Wisdom and realize I miss the days with my kids around the table. Then they got busy with evening swim practice and everyone ate on their own. In my childhood, we always sat around the table together for dinner. I’d decorate paper napkins with my crayons. We often had guests join us from church or relatives. So sad those days are not as common anymore.

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    1. I agree with you, Elizabeth. Our family dinners were usually pretty raucous (with Sue…flying food and all) but there was plenty of laughter at silly, stupid stuff. I love the image of you coloring paper napkins. So sweet! 🥰

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      4. Oh yes! If our family had a coat of arms, I’m sure some image of flying turkey legs would be in it! When Sue was only tipsy, she was loads of fun and she didn’t believe much in passing food like regular people. Tossing – more than a salad – was her style! 😜😜😜

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  8. I am grateful that you wrote about this, Vicki. This quote is a form of wisdom one almost never encounters: “After all these years I have begun to wonder if the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.” We often search to the point of desperation to find “the” answer. And I am reminded of Charles Ives’ short piece, “The Unanswered Question.” The idea set to music. Thank you, Vicki.

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  10. I love this and the concept of Tikkun Olam. My take of what you shared is life is less about having the right answers but about being present to the moment and having the right questions to ask in uncertain moments.

    I find Kabbalah interesting and looked into it briefly in the late 90s cuz I was (am still) a Madonna fan. A very interesting framework to think about and live life.

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  15. I need to reread Kitchen Table Wisdom. At the time I read it I felt like I was wiser, more centered, for having done so. I learned about her, btw, because one of her quotes [I don’t remember which one] was over the entrance to gym associated with a hospital. I was a member of the gym and got curious about who she was, why I was walking underneath her words. 

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