Answering Mary Oliver

Posted on by Wynne Leon

I was at the skate park with my kids and nine-year-old Miss O saw a sticker about Mary Oliver and asked about it.

I answered that Mary Oliver was a poet and that her most oft quoted line is “Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

And then as she scootered away, I put my finger why that line speaks to me. It contains a powerful ability to touch deep inside me a sense of urgency and reminder of the privilege of being here.

But before that afternoon at the park, I’d never tried to put words to an answer. I noticed that Mary Oliver gives us the benefit of asking what we “plan” to do because otherwise we could get stuck in the gap between plan and reality. Having that bit of grace, I stood there in the fall sunshine, feeling my way to the power of a response.

I spent my youngest years unconcerned about any purpose beyond just being happy. Then I spent my twenties chasing summits – professionally and personal high points in the mountains. And I sorta wasted my thirties in an unhappy marriage where I drank way too much wine every night.

But all those decades somehow provided me the foundation for the life I have:

Where I’ve chosen to be AWAKE to life even though life is risky, painful, and stretches me.

Rooted in my priority of PEOPLE over things, titles, or to-dos.

I understand that my goal is to SHARE everything I can, even, or especially, the lessons that come from when I do things wrong.

And I’ve discovered that I have to be PRESENT to win including the moments where the feels are not fun and I wish I was somewhere else.

So sometimes I need to retreat to recharge and WRITING is an essential part of that process.

I’ve found my way to choosing FAITH over the worries that come with all this responsibility, interconnectedness, and awareness.

I am using my one wild and precious life to LOVE without reservation the people and life I have.

As I formulated this answer, I watched my kids. They were life in motion illustrating the answer to Mary Oliver’s question. I’m so damn proud of them for being wholehearted beings and schooling me to keep growing alongside of them.

These decades of kid raising will morph into something else eventually. If I’m lucky to live long enough to enjoy being less active and busy, I can only hope that these plans will come with me. That I will still feel the wonder of being alive and float along knowing that people, sharing, being present, writing, faith, and love are how I choose to spend my one wild and precious life.

Have you ever tried to put words to answer Mary Oliver?

32 thoughts on “Answering Mary Oliver”

  1. I love your thoughts, Wynne. What an amazing exercise…answering Mary Oliver’s beautiful quote. I’ve never given it a try, but you’re providing the inspo this morning. Thank you. 💕

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  2. Her words are so poignant. I think that’s what keeps me creating. Her words to me mean that even though life may be rich (with all its ups and downs) there is never time for complacency.

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  3. what a powerful and beautiful answer to mary’s question. a revelation full of possibilities and gratitude. my daughters have taught me so much as we grew up together (I was a young mother), and continue to teach me with their openness to the world. even now, that they are older, and my grandchildren are growing into teens, I continue to learn by their examples. Mary asked for our plan, and our plans don’t always work out as planned or expected, and sometimes it works out even better, and it’s our job to be open, and find the path and opportunities to live our best life as we go.

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    1. It’s funny, I’ve been thinking (and writing) about Hard Questions and where and when we get the opportunity to discuss them. This is one of those Hard Questions, and I’m glad you brought it up because so many times we get caught up in the urgent (and not always so important) instead of focusing on what’s truly important, whether it’s urgent or not. And, yes, as the old saying goes about the importance of having a plan “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

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  4. After I had children, life was a blur-like a Merry-Go-Round spinning unrestrained. Now my children are adults with their own families and the same thing is happening with my grandchildren! Great post in response to the Mary Oliver question, Wynne. 🙂

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  7. Your answer to Mary Oliver’s question is joyous and thoughtful and loving. Feeling the “wonder of being alive” (to borrow your phrase) isn’t always easy when our schedules are super busy. But making moments to feel that are wondrous. Maybe while sipping a cup of tea. And maybe while marching with Team Rainbow Unicorn. 🌞

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  10. You have never written anything so interesting, uplifting, and more important, Wynne. I doubt I ever have either. Marcus Aurelius, the great Stoic philosopher, believed we all need to be remind of mortality every day, the better to live our lives. Your version, with a shout out to Mary Oliver, is better.

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  11. I don’t think I’ve heard that quote before but it’s thought provoking. I love your observation of your life experience providing the foundation for the life you have. I’ve learned that despite our best plans, things sometimes (often) go awry and then we need to chart a new path. That’s what makes life interesting. Even so, it’s always good to have a plan to at least provide direction.

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  12. I am reading this post on my subway ride home after attending a rare evening event. I am exhausted as I start turning into a pumpkin at 8 pm but this was a wonderful reminder that life is a privilege and to be in the present and soak it all in.

    What a beautiful call to answer by Mary Oliver and your response is so wise an wonderful. I do hope you share your children’s illustrated response to the prompt too. You have every reason to beam with pride!

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    2. Oh, I hear you about after 8 pumpkins! Glad you made it home safely after an evening event.

      You are so right – even when it’s late and we’re on the subway, life is a privilege! Thanks for sharing yours!! 🙂

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  13. Mary Oliver is my favorite poet, Wynne, and I’ve often wondered about that line of hers but have never taken the time to answer. You responded in the most beautiful, powerful, and profound way, and I found myself agreeing. Thank you for providing the inspiration to give her question some much deserved thought. Like Cheryl said, I miss her too. ❤️

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  14. Pingback: Thank You, Mary Oliver! – The Heart of the Matter

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