Depth Matters

“If you want to make one choice today that will make you healthier and happier – pay attention to your connections with other people.”  Robert Waldinger

I believe it’s a function of my introversion, in part, perhaps other personality quirks, too, but there’s no doubt that I crave depth more than breadth in relationships.  While I’ve been blessed to have broad circles of acquaintances and friends in various groups, many work-related, some social and parenting associated, I know I only need a handful of kindred souls to feel whole and happy.  Kindred souls who share my love of knowing – deep knowing – of one another?  That’s the best.  

In my professional roles I revel in the opportunity to learn about others from first-hand, profoundly personal sharing.  It is the sharing that binds us, the reminders that no matter how challenging the hill, others are climbing, too, and are ready to commiserate, walk with us and light the journey. 

Whenever I’m privileged to hear “heart stories”, I’m lifted up.  Whether the topic is triumph or tragedy, misfires or achievements, the humanity in listening to one another is divine.  It’s the connective tissue in my life. 

The end of one year and the start of a new one perpetually conjures reflective moments and my recent epiphany, yet another reveal about myself, is this:   My innate sense of hope – in the goodness of people, the capacity we all have to care and be of service – is what motivates me most.  Despite the suffering, the heavy burdens, the disparities that are ever-apparent from socio-economic, wellness and equity perspectives, I believe in better. 

Robert Waldinger’s quote inspires me.  The small wins, the opportunities to be of service to others come from the intention and attention about what matters most – the people, near and far (our friends “In Real Life” or our blogging friends), who demonstrate empathy and compassion in the three simplest ways: Listen, love, and learn. 

Thank you so much for taking a chance on The Heart of the Matter.  Wynne and I are pleased to welcome you and hope you’ll be a frequent visitor and member of the HotM community.

Vicki ❤

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com


31 thoughts on “Depth Matters

  1. This is beautiful, Vicki! Depth over breadth… Being driven by hope… Listen, love, and learn… Every part of this speaks in such a relatable way! Love, love, love! 🤍

    P. S. Just yesterday, Garrett and I were talking about how we become impatient with the repeated meaningless conversations we sometimes engage in as human beings. We were in sync with you. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Kendra! I think you, Garrett and I ARE on the same wavelength! Whether it’s my periodic social awkwardness or just the craving for more…more details, more substance…I can do small talk, but it depletes me. Love that you and your charming son are part of the pack with me. xo! ❤😊❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Depletes is a perfect word! The word he’d used was exhausting, so definitely on the same page. 😊Compare that, in contrast, with things that matter, and we’re energized – or uplifted, as you said. So glad this space is here, Vicki, to facilitate those kinds of conversations. And I so appreciate all of the work that’s gone into it by you and Wynne. 🤍

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, Kendra! Wynne…as you know well…is a joy to work with and it’s been so much fun getting to this point, letting our creative juices flow but guided by purpose. Now we can buckle up for take-off and revel in all the goodness that will come from you and our other smart and savvy partners. Wholehearted, we are!
        And how lovely that we can open our blogging arms and broaden the circle with new friends! 😊😊😊
        Give Garrett a big hug from me today. I don’t know how we channel some of the same feelings at times, but I love it just the same. xo! ❤❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, Wynne is truly a delight! And I sure will give my boy an extra hug from you. I love that channeling thing too. 🥰 Have a great day, friend! 🤍

        Liked by 1 person

      4. A very thought provoking piece Victoria and gets to the core of what we really mean by friendship as opposed to acquaintances. There are few we can really have such a good, fundamental, trusting relationship with where one has to be truly open.
        It’s sad that there are some people in life who, for whatever reason, have become so mistrustful that they can’t form relationships and miss out on the blessing of true friendship

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      5. Thank you so much, Brenda! I think you’re right — those wrappers of mistrust can be hard to break through. Appreciate your thoughts about being ‘open’. Sounds so simple, but it’s just not. Sending big hugs across the ocean to you today! 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my goodness Vicki, this is such a beautiful, heartfelt, heartwarming piece that you have written. It’s as if you crawled inside my heart and expressed in words the exact way that I have felt for so much of my life. Kindred spirits are few and far between; what a blessing it is to find them here, within the pages of a blog. Thank you to you and Wynne for creating this space for us fellow soul searchers and light workers. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Julia…you are giving me LIFE with your kind comment. On behalf of Wynne…our wonderful contributing partners…and my happy heart…thank you…thank you…for reading, trusting us to join in and become part of our little community.
      I do believe there are many who are like-minded and like-hearted, and, as you said, finding “our people” IS a blessing when it happens. Grateful to you, Julia.
      Sending hugs and love! ❤😊❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah…yes. That was all Wynne. If we’re gonna do this, she said, let’s kick it off in the brand-new sparkling 2023. Glad you see that and love it just as much as we do, Julia. Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Dr. Stein…what a lovely, endearing thing to share. I’m going to hold that close today. Grateful to you for reading, joining us and for your support. ❤❤❤

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    1. Deb, Deb, Deb… thank you for your kindness! Realizing that virtual communities of caring folks are no less meaningful than the ‘IRL’ in real life version, just different, helped Wynne and I make our connection…and then noodle about ways to ‘spread the good’. I love your choice of the word ‘catalyst’. Exactly what we’re hoping for!
      Grateful to you for hopping on board. xo! 💕

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I think, much like you note, that many of my connections are stronger with my online blogging community than IRL. It’s an incredibly interesting thing to ponder about as to why that might be. BTW- I love that you use *ponder* in your blog title. It was a favorite word of my dads and a memory I hold onto. I think somewhere in my blog, long ago I wrote about his use of that word— he also really liked to putter and that had nothing to do with golf!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Oh, I love that you feel that way about online, blogging friends Deb. It IS an interesting thing to mull over and I often wonder if it was one of the unintended benefits/blessings borne out of necessity with the pandemic. And your dad’s love of the word ‘ponder’? I love that, too. And how interesting that you’d bring up the word ‘putter’…I just posted one other piece about a dear friend who lost someone, tragically, while golfing. A reminder to take nothing for granted. Hugs to you, Deb. 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I can so relate to the desire for depth in relationships. When we find those people, in real life or online, it’s like tinder in the fire. We recognize we’re not alone on our journey…we may be few in number, but we hold enough in our hearts to light up the entire world. When we connect with one another, the results are exponential. Oh, and I *love* the analogy that listening to heart stories is the connective tissue in your life. Wow!! 😙👌

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Erin! You lift me up, friend! Thank you for being you. And given that you have wisdom I’ll never have about health, wellness, nutrition, I adore that you liked the ‘connective tissue’ quip. It might be the last time I’ll ever be able to weave in something anatomy-related! LOL! Cheers to you for being one of the ones who lights up the world. xoxoxo! 💕💕💕

      Liked by 2 people

  4. When I was younger, I thought I was the oddball. I much preferred hanging out with one or two friends and having a deep, meaningful relationship than being surrounded by a team of people and having light, superficial conversations. I’m glad I’m not alone. My other big takeaway from your piece: we talk often this time of year about resolutions and changes to make for the better. I can think of few resolutions better than: Listen, love, and learn. I learn so much from Wynne and your writing Vicki. Congratulations on the site launch and glad to be a part of this journey.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I share your recall about feeling like the ‘oddball’. Yup. Large groups are fun, but I found – even as a kid – that people posture a lot in large groups and don’t often reveal their true selves. Does that make sense? And then leapfrog into adulthood where that behavior morphs into big-time protective shields? Gah! Leaves me, still, looking for the substance. Glad to know I’m not alone! And… thank YOU for being part of our new team. Wynne and I admire you and are grateful for your willingness to ‘bring the Brian’…always insightful, good stuff. Big smiles and hugs! 🥰😉🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, the posturing when you know folks have fears and concerns is crazy. Yup, still drives me crazy. Let’s be real, let’s be honest, hiding behind machoism or hiding your fears is never a good thing. Thanks for putting those thoughts into words!!!!

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