Old Doors Are Closing But New Ones Have Not Yet Opened

Posted on by Libby Saylor

Most of us have been taught to live our lives by taking lots of action, making things happen, choosing and moving and doing. And yes, that’s a massive part of the way life works, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, have you ever experienced times in your life when things were so clearly out of your control, and it was very obvious that things were happening “to you,” despite your input or participation?

Right now I’m going through one of those times. And it’s taken me years to learn that when certain “big” things happen in life, it’s best to just trust that there is a divine reason. And that even though these things may feel like losses and unwanted occurrences, these events are usually just thresholds we must cross in order to get to something even greater.

What’s tricky about this time period is the not knowing what’s next. I have the whole, “trust that this is for the best” thing down. But I’m in that SUPER uncomfortable place where nothing new has come to fill the void yet. So, I feel a bit empty and lost.

hand holding a compass

Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

Below, I’m going to share a bit about these big changes happening in my life right now. Because when I’m reading a blog post about someone’s life, I want the specifics, I don’t just want the abstract ideas.

All of these things are actually very life-y and normal. And yet, they are all happening at once, which is a lot to swallow, if I’m being honest. So, here we go…

1. MY CO-WORKER OF 10 YEARS IS LEAVING MY BUILDING

I’m one of those lucky people who has a day job that I love, and I’ve been working in the same department for almost ten years. My co-worker started two weeks before I did. So, we’ve essentially been working about thirty feet away from each other for a full decade. And we’ve gone in and out of closeness over the years, but for the most part, we’ve built a nice co-worker friendship. And in recent years, we’ve both shared many things with each other about our personal struggles, as well as our day-to-day life stuff. We’ve supported each other through multiple break-ups and dating disappointments, and have reflected on much of our childhood traumas with each other, essentially acting as unofficial therapists.

I actually can’t even and don’t want to imagine what it will be like to be in my office, day in and day out, without having him to confide in, or even just share anecdotes with. It’s the kind of relationship you can take for granted when you’re in it, but when it’s gone, it feels rather life-altering.

He’s moving to a building within walking distance, but it won’t be the same, and I’m quite alarmed by the adjustment I must face in the coming months.

2. THE FOOD TRUCK I’VE BEEN GOING TO FOR OVER 10 YEARS IS CLOSING

Okay, I know this sounds silly, but I’m a creature of habit. And when I started at my job twelve years ago (I started in another department before ending up where I am now), I discovered this food truck. They checked all the boxes, met all of my needs, and I’ve NEVER tired of them. This food truck is cheap, healthy, delicious, and close-by (which is great when it’s sweltering hot or pouring rain and I just need to grab something quickly). I’ve also developed a lovely, friendly relationship with the owners, and over the years, seeing them every day has been something I look forward to. They’ve been in business for forty years and it’s just time for them to retire. And I literally don’t know what I’m going to do for lunch every day! Most places are expensive, much farther away, and not nearly as healthy. I’m seriously beside myself.

Magic Carpet Food Truck, Philadelphia, PA

Dean and Deb Varvoutis, Magic Carpet Food Truck, Philadelphia, PA, June 2023

3. MY BOSS IS AWAY ON VACATION FOR TWO MONTHS

Another beautiful part of my job is that I love my boss. We truly enjoy working together, and she is going away on vacation with her family for the entire summer, returning at the end of August. Again, I know it seems silly, but we genuinely look forward to seeing each other in the office, checking in, solving problems together, sharing about our lives, and supporting each other, both professionally and personally. I am missing her already, although I’m happy things will return to normal come fall.

4. I’M TAKING A BREAK FROM DATING AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WHEN I’M NOT PINING OVER A MAN

Admittedly, I don’t believe I’m being dramatic when I say that for most of my life, I’ve always had a man to pine for and/or obsess over. Of course, this is choice-based, so this one isn’t exactly happening to me. However, I have just come off of two incredibly, wretchedly painful dating disappointments that felt like outright rejections. These men were rather terrible for me, not healthy characters, and their loss is a blessing. But I did adore both of them and them exiting my life is something I’m still working through on a daily basis. It just plain hurts when you want someone and they just don’t want you back. And I know myself enough to know that my self-esteem is not quite fit to get back out there in the dating world right now. So, I’m taking a break, and it feels very strange and vacuum-like.

black and white photograph of the surface of the moon

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

5. MY FRIENDSHIPS ARE CHANGING

I have a few friendships now that are changing and evolving. One very close friendship involves a lot more emotional distance than we’ve ever had before. And another friendship I’m actually considering walking away from because it feels as if it’s become rather toxic for me. Or, rather, it was always toxic and I’ve finally had enough. Either way, I am the first person to admit that friendships come and go and this is a normal and healthy life event. However, these changes piled on top of everything else is just leaving my life feeling so empty.

SO, WHAT’S ON THE HORIZON?

Despite the intense discomfort I’m experiencing during this time, I do feel super excited about what’s to come. I can recall periods in my life when I experienced extremely abrupt and dramatic losses. And following those losses, something amazing and beautiful always followed. Perhaps not immediately, but gifts always came.

During this period, from my past experiences, the best thing I can do is to stay open and try to follow what feels good and what feels right. Pushing for things is not what is called for at this time. The Universe is working so darn hard for me right now, I can feel it. And in order for me to help it along, I just need to let it brew. You don’t pull a cake out of the oven before it’s done baking, do you? You combine all of the ingredients (my dreams and desires) and pop it in the oven. Right now, my dreams are baking, and God and The Goddesses are the oven. So, I can’t mess with it.

Right now, I feel like I’m sitting on the proverbial kitchen stool, peeking through the oven window to watch the progress. But it looks like nothing is happening. So what I really need to do is go into the living room and watching some baseball, or The Kardashians, or Harry Potter, or talk on the phone, or pretty much do anything but peek inside the oven and wait. I need to live my life and let go.

HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever experienced a time like this? How did you manage to stay calm and let go? What dreams and adventures have come to you after you’ve experienced major losses? Do you believe in the saying, “When God closes one door, He always opens another”?

I can’t wait to read your comments, as always!

xo, Libby

freshly baked cake

Photo by Maja Il on Unsplash

35 thoughts on “Old Doors Are Closing But New Ones Have Not Yet Opened”

  1. Hi Libby. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. Change is hard and that’s a lot to handle at once. I’m not sure I have many words of wisdom for you. I have been through periods where it felt like nothing was going my way. I think the key is to try to find positives, and spend time doing things that make you happy. Hang in there. You will be okay.

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  2. I tend to mope for a while. Personally, I’m okay “sitting with things uncomfortable,” and don’t try to find new things or create new moments for myself in times of turmoil. And yes, a LOT of that has to do with my belief in God, and having faith that new doors will open when the time is right!

    As to you, Goddess, we’ve all got your back, here in WP world! Take good care 🙂

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  5. The most valuable aspect of the past I’ve personally found Libby is not to lament over it, but to learn from it, realizing it’s a place of reference, not a place of residence.
    Be blessed, and . . . Keep Looking Up for Him to open the next door . . . He always will.

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  6. Libby, change is hard and it sounds like all the cumulative change is overwhelming. I get overwhelmed just reading about them. I do agree with your reflection though that sometimes change happens for a divine reason and you just have to go with the rushing flow until something fills that empty void again. And it will. Good luck!

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  7. One of the things I love best about you, Libby, is that you share how events mold and mesh and impact you – both individually and in the combos that invariably arrive. I believe your dreams ARE baking and you’ve done a full and accurate accounting of the ‘recipe’ for what comes next…being open to the universe. Such an inspiration! 🥰
    And I don’t know why, exactly, but I’m grieving with you about the loss of your food truck friends, Dean and Deb. It may seem like a small thing, saying goodbye to them, but those folks who become part of our daily routines – with smiles and love and knowing looks — and no doubt “knowing’ your order, LOL – are precious. xo! 💕

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    1. Oh thank you so much for that reminder about the baking process! And it’s crazy, today is the LAST day I will see Dean and Deb. I’m not even sure, do I give them a hug or what? Such a crazy thing, and thank you for grieving alongside me, I feel your hugs 🥹

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  8. Excellent questions. I relate to your situation, having been through similar periods in my life. I cling to the idea that change is good and that “When God closes one door, He always opens another.” As long as I don’t focus too much on the closed door, I seem to find the next one.

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  9. I think you’ve started in the right place Libby- acknowledging that life tosses things at us we’d rather not confront, which is often hard or even overwhelming when it all piles on at once. The reality is that changes happen to us all the time but I think we tend to ignore a lot of the smaller stuff and just roll into our routine days. Then boom- a big old crap pile of too much happens!

    I believe in resiliency and the ability to just keep moving forward until the open door appears in front of you, or smacks you in the face perhaps 😉 It’s always there if we just let the clouds have their own moment to obscure our view. What would we ever learn if we always had open doors?

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  10. Wait a minute, I’m still stuck on your favorite lunch food truck moving. That’s huge stuff. Okay, I’m kidding, but I’m not. There’s a certain comfort about knowing what to expect and having routines. When we don’t have them, I don’t care how big or small the thing may be, it can be a challenging change. You’ve said, it’s a grieving process. Give yourself time to adjust. But, you’re strong, you’ve got this! Thank you for reminding us all that life is hard . . .but give it a little baking time and the future is a wonderful thing.

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  11. I had a close relationship with someone I worked with for many years. We shared a large office and I think our relationship was like yours with your co-worker. I was the one who left. After 25 years, we still have that close relationship, if that’s any comfort. Yes, it’s different. But we can pick up the phone and share the intimate details of our lives, if not every day, from time to time. Also, you’re smart to get rid of any toxic people in your life. You’re on the right track for better things to happen.

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  12. I’m in just such a period right now, such that I’m heartened to read this. While I do have some pangs around the uncertainty, I am growing so much by learning to be in such a space and see what unfolds without my trying to force it. And, cough, rewatching Lord of the Rings endlessly. (Harry Potter may soon be in the works, as it struck me yesterday … my younger son hasn’t yet been exposed at all, which he evidenced at a theme park today! Challenge accepted.)

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    1. I LOVE hearing this! We’re not alone 💖 And I just adore your way of coping because it sounds similar to mine. I actually read all the HP books after my mom passed in 2017 just to have something to dive into. But I actually prefer the movies and consider them as source of such warm blanket comfort. I watch them all the time. All the time! 🤣 LOTR is so perfect as well! Thanks so much for sharing, we both got this 🌺

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  13. Times like these are what I call ‘exercises in patience’. It is unsettling when our idea for our life’s timeline does not mesh with what the universe has in mind for us. As strange as it sounds, your situation runs parallel with nesting – preparing and waiting for a new birth. Maybe what is to emerge for you requires a relatively clean slate. I send you calming vibes and good wishes for what is about to unfurl.

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  16. Most of our suffering comes from resistance to change. I remember when I first traveled to the USA for my degree, everything was different but I looked at it as an adventure. Life offers us the same adventure without having to travel if we only pay attention and embrace it. A new colleague, a new food place to discover, self-reliance, all adventures. I know easier said than done, I too have my pains over change.

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