Collecting seashells

Posted on by WritingfromtheheartwithBrian

When we brought our daughter home from the hospital as a newborn, her skin was a yellowed jaundice color and she had problems keeping anything down. Infant jaundice usually occurs because a baby’s liver isn’t mature enough to get rid of bilirubin, a yellow pigment of red blood cells, in the bloodstream. 

The doctor told us that high bilirubin levels usually indicate that something is not working as expected in the baby’s liver or gallbladder, but he told us not to worry and prescribed a medicine to help reduce the bilirubin levels and a “lighted blanket” that she had to wear when she was sleeping. 

My wife and I were scared to death. Our daughter was going home with us and that was a blessing, but we also felt like we had no way of turning the ship around to help her. We felt powerless and got our first taste of parental worry. Fortunately, our daughter’s liver and gallbladder started working properly, her eating stabilized, and she was soon fine. 

Getting knocked around 

A few years later, my wife started having some health challenges of her own. She was having a number of different neurological issues with her arms and legs. They would numb up on her without any warning. We were again scared to death and chased doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, for answers like a dog searching for a meaty bone. 

I’m not saying we became expert neurologists but by the end we certainly knew our stuff. It took time and lots of patience, but we eventually got the answers we needed. 

When I think about life’s ups and downs, I find that they are like the seashells I saw recently when we were on vacation. The seashells are the hard exoskeleton of marine mollusks such as snails, bivalves, and chitons and other organisms that live in the sea that serve to protect and support their bodies. 

When discarded, the seashells get swallowed up by the swirl of the waves and the sea. The force of the waves breaks the shells and the remnants mix with the gritty sand. In time, the exterior of the shells becomes smooth, and they eventually wash up on the shore. The shells become like rocks placed in a rock tumbler, where the sharp edges are worn off and smooth surface is all that remains.

Outward signs of honor

The same things happens often in life. We’re swung one way and then another. We’re blindsided by supposed friends. Physical and emotional challenges come out of nowhere. We’re caught up in the surf, holding on for dear life, but we pull ourselves up and we find that the challenges that once caused us pain and, maybe even suffering, have been smoothened over and we now wear them as badges of honor. 

In time, if we choose to, we’re able to look back and see our struggles in a new and different light. We see how our challenges have helped strengthened us. We see where we’re stronger from the experience. Once the craziness and the immediate challenges have passed, we’re able see the joy in the moment. 

For example, our daughter’s jaundice symptoms and my wife’s health scare frightened us, but as we read and learned more about what we were facing, especially after-the-fact, we learned valuable lessons. We learned that a great doctor can make a huge difference. We learned something about ourselves too. We learned that we were made of strong stuff. We weren’t going to fall to pieces at the first sign of trouble. 

Finally, I learned from the experience, that like the shells, life can break us if we let it. Life can tear you to pieces, but if you stay strong, keep the faith and pushing forward, you can find joy, happiness, and smooth shells on the other side.

…….

Please join in on the discussion on the HoTM site. In addition, please visit my personal blog at www.writingfromtheheartwithbrian.com to read the companion piece I wrote today or follow me on Instagram at @writingfromtheheartwithbrian.

All the best, Brian.

28 thoughts on “Collecting seashells”

  1. It’s difficult in the thick of things to see/ believe in potential learning, but I agree, there is new perspective to gain. Through years of health issues, I have learned that much of medicine is uncertainty – a wake up call for sure.

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  3. I love how you made connections about vulnerability and the mysteries of medicine, health and wellness – mixed in with sea life and seashells – our interiors/exteriors aren’t unlike that of marine life as we get bounced around, softened, sharpened over time. The jaundice stuff IS scary for new parents and so are mysterious symptoms – like those your wife experienced. Here’s to good health for all! 😊

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  4. I am glad all worked out well, Brian. You sound a bit like Nietzsche, who believed one should love his fate because it enabled him to become the person he is. He said he would wish, if given the chance, to live through the same life over again and not change a thing.

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    1. I don’t know if I would want the same events over again, but I am grateful that we were able to come out the other side. I’m grateful that we can look back with smiles and that it made us stronger as a couple and family. Does that make me like Nietzsche? 😎😎😎

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  6. What a great analogy, Brian. We’re all vulnerable little creatures crawling into what feels like a safe place, periodically peeking out to gauge the situation. After being tossed enough, we learn that we are stronger than we realized… and can venture out to trade up for a new shell if our old tools are not longer meeting our needs.

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  7. I believe there’s a purpose in the hard stuff- one aspect being that it teaches us about ourselves, what we value, and how to cope. A life that is all sunshine and roses would teach us there is no need to appreciate struggle and growth. It would teach us that we have no reason to try. I wouldn’t want that trade-off.

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  9. I’m going through this right now with my family. Your post is very helpful as I’m sitting in a cottage at the edge of the sea. I especially loved this line: “We’re caught up in the surf, holding on for dear life, but we pull ourselves up and we find that the challenges that once caused us pain and, maybe even suffering, have been smoothened over and we now wear them as badges of honor.”

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    1. Oh, EA I hope my post brought some smiles and relief. I find that the Sea is a great metaphor for life, the way it tosses and turns, and then out of nowhere calms and brings peace. Hopefully the tossing and turning for your family is coming to a close and the rest is nothing but smooth sailing. Hopefully, you noticed another line from my post, the part about learning that we weren’t going to fall to pieces. Your family obviously is made of strong stuff!

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  10. Love this post look at life through the lens of the challenges it throws at us. I especially love, “We learned that we were made of strong stuff. ” Right! And we wouldn’t know that if we never got tossed around by the surf. Great writing and perspective, Brian!

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  12. I love this message, Brian. It really is about perspective and the attitude that we take when faced with adversity. I love the seashell analogy, because it is so true and apt in the face of hardships – and being tumbled around. Glad to hear you got through both health scares.

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  14. Thanks so much for this post, Brian… I’ve had a bit of a summer, being “swallowed up by the swirl of the waves and the sea” and am only just emerging, and feeling like it all might just have been meant to make me stronger, so this post was particularly meaningful. I really, really enjoy your posts…🙏💕

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