In this episode, I’m with my co-host, Dr. Vicki Atkinson, and we are talking about the courage to keep trying. We open the podcast with some laughter about some silly stories with my kids where I’ve made mistakes. And it paves the way for a deep conversation about risk-taking, trying new things, and the journey to be vulnerable to others.
I share with Vicki some of the disappointment that I felt on her behalf when reading her book, “Surviving Sue” because Sue never saw her. We talked about how she armored up from an early age with Sue because of the mismatch between words and deeds coming from her mom.
But even through the low expectations, Vicki kept on showing up in order to care for Lisa and for Sue. So what did she learn about armor, vulnerability, and control? Vicki shares with us the wisdom of her toolkit for surviving disappointment, regardless of the source, by following her body cues and knowing that she can take back control.
We talk about all the lessons we’ve learned the hard way – and that the take-away is while it feels natural to try avoid being hurt, we opt for continuing to try. We dig in to the question of “what if I don’t?” that can be a great motivator.
And Vicki turns the tables on me for taking on the risk to talk with my dad about spirituality and faith. I open up about how my fear that if we talked about those things, knowing I didn’t see them the same way he did, that I risked feeling like my dear dad was disappointed in me. But Vicki gives me the gift of a great a-ha that positive regard that is based on assumptions, vagaries, or pretense isn’t really regard at all.
In this episode, we talk about how to switch out of disappointment by focusing on compassion for others. Risk – disappointment – vulnerability – big topics but we have a feel good conversation full of compassion for ourselves when we are disappointed, or for when we don’t want to take the chance, and appreciation for the opening that happens when we do take risks.
Disappointment isn’t easy but when you know that others have gone through it and see you, it makes the trip so much easier. Please risk a half hour of your time – you won’t be disappointed! In fact, we know you’ll love it.
P.S. The mention of Cooper in this podcast refers to my young puppy.
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Search (and subscribe!) for Sharing the Heart of the Matter on Apple, Amazon, Spotify or Pocket Casts OR Listen on Anchor Episode 42: The Courage to Try with Vicki and Wynne
Links for this Episode:
Listen on Anchor Episode 42: The Courage to Try with Vicki and Wynne
Vicki’s personal blog: Victoria Ponders
Wynne’s personal blog: Surprised by Joy
Vicki’s recently released book: Surviving Sue
Wynne’s book about her beloved father: Finding My Father’s Faith
The Heart of the Matter 
Great talk! As someone who is highly sensitive and grew up unable to establish many personal boundaries, I absolutely loved the backpack story!! And when you mentioned how you dealt with stepping in Cooper’s poop, it reminded me that when my son was little and spilled things, I always appreciated how nice and clean the floor was after we cleaned it up together (because it I never cleaned often enough). Risking disappointment, especially with those close to us, can sometimes be paralyzingly difficult. That said, the hypnotherapist I used to work with (she’d been a therapist for years prior) used a regression healing technique that pretty instantaneously “gave me back power” enabling me to feel much braver, have boundaries, while remaining calm. It got to the root of the issue and dissolved it. Loved this episode!
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Gave you back power – what an incredible way to look at that process that’s come with your healing. That is so transformative.
Love your take on cleaning up after our kids. Exactly!!
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I hope Cooper plays his part well. I know you and Vicki will.
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Great podcast as always!
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Thank you, Mary, for being one of our most faithful listeners!
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Disappointment is hard, whether it’s experienced as a parent, child, spouse/partner, working professional, but like failure it is necessary in life if we want to grow. May we have the wisdom to learn from each disappointment so that future ones are less of a blow!
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Necessary if we want to grow. Well said, Ab!
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