Sunny Sonny 🌞

Posted on by Victoria

As we continue to focus on ‘change’ this month, I started thinking about the word from a progress and repeating patterns point of view.  When we take a step in a certain direction, are we committing to our path, or do we give ourselves the grace of u-turns and do-overs– without branding our efforts as failures or half-hearted attempts?

I need to remind myself to be nimble and open, willing to retract and retrace my steps. Acknowledging that I have agency and choice is an on-going battle.  I’ve learned that my fear of disappointing others – far more than myself – motivates me to stick with the status quo because that’s where relative safety sits.  “Relative” is an operative word.  With my mom, Sue, I learned how to clear emotional high hurdles and prepare for the resulting calamities. They became familiar and known obstacles on my path.  Not desirable, no.  But navigable, which feels like a win when you’re dealing with the bad behavior of others. I’m not proud of it, but it’s part of my story – the source of trepidation about change.  Which brings me to my dad and gratitude moments and memories.  He was “Sunny Sonny” and a beacon, providing an illuminating counterbalance of joie de vivre for 35 years of my life.

I wrote about my dad’s morning rituals in “Good Morning World” because I adored his incessant exuberance as he greeted every new day.  Dragging myself out of bed this week (given the frigid temps, and/or my lack of restorative sleep) I thought of him.  Even when his ‘tail was dragging’ he began each day with gusto. 

All of which made me think about the people, the energy, and the influences that I’m drawn to in life.  Are you like me – drawn to positivity? The smiles that come quickly, the pep in one’s step.  I detect this energy a mile away; ripples of my dad’s lifeforce. People exuding a sense of safety to the little girl within who was ever on the lookout for kindness.

But I have a confession.  I held back and didn’t share one of Sunny Sonny’s secrets when I wrote about his morning routine.  There WAS more to the story.  In addition to the spring in his step, he had a mantra that he offered to anyone who dared to question his morning glee.  “You can, too” he’d say.  “It’s all about the S’s”….which, for a man whose initials – when he used his nickname, Sonny – were “SS” made his quip super silly.  (And note to self…I unknowingly carried that forward with the title of my book, “Surviving Sue“. I don’t know what any of that recurring s, s, s, s, s stuff is about but it’s a curiosity. My mom Sue’s initials were also “SS”.)

But I digress.  Here’s his silliness.  “You can, too” he’d say – about starting the day with delight:

 “You just need to follow the four “S” plan:  Sh*t, Shower, Shave, Smile.  Every day.  Without fail.”

His point?  I mean…you needed to know and love him to unpack his brevity and earthiness about bathroom rituals and extract the usefulness.  Here’s my daddy-daughter-decoding:

Sh*t:  Take care of your body – every day.  Eat well so each morning begins lighter.  Literally.

Shower:  My dad was famous for showering multiple times a day.  He believed in working hard and in the restorative power of water.  He adored his shower, his hot tub/spa and his pool.  His life was stressful, but water was a restorative tonic (not to be confused with tonic water…. ick).

Shave:  Sonny understood skincare before ‘manscaping’ was cool. He used sunblock, he thought, to tan safely (an impossibility, we know) and he believed in scrubs and masques because he loved freshly exfoliated skin.  

And… last but not least, here’s the big kahuna:

Smile:  No fakery.  The real deal.  He conducted workshops and trainings about leadership and values and he believed in the ’10-5’ rule.  Whether it originated in the hospitality industry or as a result of Sam Walton’s philosophy (there’s some debate) Sonny embraced the ’10-5’ principles and anchored himself accordingly as an evangelist of sorts: Anytime you’re within 10 feet or someone, flash a sincere smile and make eye contact.  (Sonny knew how to smile with his eyes long before model Tyra Banks of ‘smizing’ fame was born.)  If you’re within 5 feet?  It’s time for a greeting.  Hello, good day…whatever seems appropriate.  It might coincide with an opportunity to hold a door open.  You get the idea.  Small gestures of goodness.  Just because.

I suspect my dad’s sunny, natural affect came from perseverance, despite his own pain, not unlike the silent battles every human might be engaged in on any given day.  He had his own daily skirmishes and sought smiling high ground whenever he could. Sunny Sonny style.

-Vicki 🌞

50 thoughts on “Sunny Sonny 🌞”

  1. The four “S” plan is fantastic, and oh so Sonny! What great teacher he must have been. 🥰 Also, the 10-5 rule is new to me, but I love that and will need to start incorporating that into my life. Thanks for a great post this morning, Vicki!

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    1. Thanks, Erin. I didn’t want to offend anyone the first time when I wrote about “Good Morning World”…and sharing his #1 “s” tip 😉but it was quintessential Sonny and just like your post this morning, the image of his morning stomp-around and ritual – all glowy and good – was what I woke up to. A visit to my subconscious overnight? Maybe so!

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  4. I appreciate Sonny’s sunshine and also wonder what might have happened to his marriage and family without it. How much was a necessary turning away for his own survival? An upside and a downside? Only you would know, Vicki. From the outside, his story poses more questions than Sue.

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    1. I love that you’re wondering about that. A recent question from a reader prompted me to draft a post for “Victoria Ponders”…coming up soon…about my dad. There are many unanswered questions about his life’s story. More than I realized before I wrote about my mom. Thank you for your comment. 💕

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  5. Sonny’s four “S” plan is simple and doable. It sounds like a wonderful way to feel good and share that good feeling with all who one might encounter. Thumbs up to a good man who brightened humanity with his smile! 🙂

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  6. What a beautiful post ( and I’m smiling too ) ! The 4 “S” so meaningful and deep if we truly understand ,and it actually runs how we feel the whole day . It made me remind of my dad he followed all the 4 “S “ all his 89 yrs of life . And ,I want to add one from his side too “ shinning shoe “ .I have never seen him not shaved or in unpolished shoes whatever pain life may have brought .
    Thank you again for sharing more inspired now to follow the 4 “ S” .I want to add mine ( “S “ ) too.I salute the Sun, and I try to keep life as simple as possible. And I love love the 10-5 rule . Have a good day ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much! I’m thrilled to hear you connected with Sonny’s ‘sunshine’. Your dad sounds like a kindred spirit, for sure! And oh yes…shoes with a good shine. I remember that, too. Thanks for adding your reminder to salute the sun and keep life simple. Beautiful additions! xo! 🥰

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  7. I never knew about the 10-5 rule or Sunny Sonny’s four s’s. I am drawn to people who smile, even strangers in the grocery store. It’s amazing how powerful a smile can be to change my mood or thoughts. Thank you for sharing more about your dad. I have so many questions about his relationship with Sue. What he knew or didn’t know.

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    1. Thanks for all of that, Elizabeth! Me, too – about being drawn in by smiles. And about dad/Sonny – the more I peel back the layers about his relationship with Sue, the more questions I have. Despite his convincing, outward demeanor, I wonder if he was just an excellent actor at times? Oh…if only we could bring our loved ones back for Q & A time, eh? xo to you! 🥰

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      1. Yes, I totally agree. There are so many questions I’d like to ask my mom and I can’t ask my dad. I knew he cheated on my mom because that’s what ended their marriage. But I recently found out he’d been unfaithful all along with who knows how many women — and the one at the end of their marriage was not a one off. I wonder if Mom knew? If she did know or was completely blind to it? I have a memory from age 5 of a woman coming to our house to talk with Mom. The kids were told to get out of the house. The woman left town after a divorce. I learned this past year that my dad had an affair with her. I’d love to know what was said that day.

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      2. Oh my goodness…so much common ground for us with our questions. I have some of the same things bouncing around in my head about my dad. Thank you so much for sharing. Those glimpses that come back to us after the passage of time. Yes! ❤️

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      3. Yes, we have common ground with family stories and our histories. There’s more I want to know — or maybe I don’t! I do have stories to write, but I don’t think it’s kind to my dad while he’s still kicking around.

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  8. Ah, so good – the Sonny Secrets. So powerful. And this phrase, “ripples of my dad’s lifeforce.” Whoa – I love it! Thanks for sharing these wonderful tips. I’d never heard of the 10-5 feet rule.

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  11. I think everyone has already said everything, but wanted to add that I loved this post, and there’s so much in it which is also new to me. New ideas to explore. I hope your lack of sleep issues pass soon. Its not easy to smile/be cheerful in the morning when you’re so tired.

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  12. Aw, I love this and I love his 4 s’s. My teaching partners have told me that I yell out, ‘this is the best day ever!’ to my class every single day and I believe it to be true and want the kids to believe it too, even on hard days

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    1. Love that! Especially on the hard days, right? The best days are usually the ones where I’m learning something…and if I can swing it, I’m laughing at the same time. Your students (and teaching colleagues) are lucky ducks to have you in their orbits. 🥰

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  13. Way to go, Sonny! It sounds like he had the perfect routine to go along with a sense of humor. Like You, I gravitate toward positivity in real life and in the blogging world—probably why I try to read your posts whenever I can, Vicki.

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  18. Your dad’s 4 S plan sounds wonderful and also hilarious. Brevity is a great quality to have. I have the first 2 Ss down pat. Usually shave only every few days. And I agree that good leaders who master the 10-5 rule about smiling sincerely make such a positive impact on others and are people that we naturally gravitate to!

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    1. Thank you, Todd! Yah…fathers can be a little blunt and ‘earthy’, right…I think Sonny’s saving grace was adding that last ‘s’…smiling soul that he was. xo and happy Friday, friend! 🥰

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