I’m a Fan Girl for Carl Rogers

Posted on by Victoria

In my early twenties I was a fan girl. 

No, not for popular bands like Van Halen or the Cars…not even Cheap Trick.  Nope. The object of my attention and adoration was a psychologist.  Of all the theories I encountered in my studies, stumbling into “Humanism” and the work of Carl Rogers changed my life. 

I was in college when I read “A Way of Being” for the first time – my introduction to the brilliant psychotherapist and original ‘humanist’, Carl Rogers.  My heart could scarcely contain the enormity of these words, then and now when I read them:

I realize that if I were stable and steady and static, I would be living death.  So I accept confusion and uncertainty and fear and emotional highs and lows because they are the price I willingly pay for a flowing, perplexing, exciting life.

-“A Way of Being”, p. 89

I wish they’d been whispered to me on the day I entered the world, reminding me that joy would be omnipresent along with sorrow. Would I have been better prepared?  Or more terrified and wary?  I suspect wisdom arrives when it has the greatest potential to stick.  Adhere and cling in order to pay dividends as life unfolds.

Rogers is credited as one of the founders of the humanistic movement in psychology, identifying the benefits of client-centered (aka person-centered therapy).  Reading his books “A Way of Being” and “On Becoming a Person” gave me hope and motivation when I was a confused college student – yet still intent on exploring my future in the helping professions. 

As I talked with a former colleague recently, we reflected on our glory days of teaching “human potential” workshops and the concepts of Rogerian psychology to eager students exploring their major. 

Immersion courses were the best vehicle for the introduction and over two weekends and many hours of laughter, camaraderie, learning and respect, we tried to embody and exemplify the hallmarks of humanism. 

One of those hallmarks? Positive psychology and humor. I know my sense of humor can be irreverent, but there’s intent behind the chuckles; levity offered as a way to bond and connect with others. Meeting in the middle. I suppose this piece is an example; I know my dear colleague will chuckle at the title alone:

“There she goes again…she’s a groupie for Rogers…a fan girl!” 😉

A sigh with a smile. A knowing smile because he taught me how. Learning, loving, laughter? They all roll together. We are human. Watch us roar as we focus on what matters most in life.

Were we successful teachers?  Only the students know for sure, but by virtue of the number who’ve stayed in touch over the years, I can say that a “Rogerian” and Humanistic approach to the study of psychology connected many of us for a lifetime. Resonating, still, decades later.

Dr. Irvin Yalom’s 1995 Introduction to the republication of “A Way of Being” provides an overview of Rogers’ contributions:

  • Experienced therapists today agree that the crucial aspect of therapy, as Rogers grasped in his early career, is the therapeutic relationship.  Of course it is imperative that the therapist relate genuinely to the patient – the more the therapist becomes a real person and avoids self-protective or professional masks or roles, the more the patient will reciprocate and change in a constructive direction. Of course the therapist should accept the patient nonjudgmentally and unconditionally.  And of course the therapist must enter empathically into the private world of the client. 
  • …These were once such novel ideas that Rogers had to bludgeon the profession into taking note of them.
  • His studies of the critical aspects of the therapist-client relationship  – empathic understanding, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard – continue to be considered by social scientists as a model of research elegance and relevance.
  • The person-centered approach generated so much power for personal change…there was no reason to confine it to the psychologically troubled.  For decades Rogers was actively involved in educational programs urging that education encompass affective as well as cognitive learning, that teachers focus on the whole person, that a learning environment of acceptance, genuineness and empathic understanding be created, that teachers and institutional personnel be trained in a person-oriented approach, that efforts made to build self-esteem in the student and to unlock natural curiosity.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but my introduction to Carl Rogers planted skills within me that would bolster my efforts to help others, over and over again.  Individual therapy…teaching…and yes, in my leadership roles and within my relationships with friends and family. 

Aspects of Rogers’ work have been lifted and spun into new-fangled wrappers for years without citation or homage to his work.  I can’t say for sure (Rogers passed away in 1987) but I doubt he’d mind.  He built a gateway and those who pass through are like-minded souls.  No need for credit or deference toward the one who paved the way.

As I reread “A Way of Being” recently, I was struck by how many concepts from Rogers’ work appear in David Brooks’ best seller “How to Know a Person”.  More on that another time.  I’m grateful to David Brooks for writing a beautiful book about relationships, but I smiled (and annotated heavily) every time his voice sounded reminiscent of Rogers. 

I’ll close for now with one last quote which has been imprinted on my soul for years.  An undeniable, well-spoken truth and one I’d like to blast from the rooftops, every day in every way.  Especially now. There seems so much at-risk in the world and Rogers’ message carries urgency and hope:

…there is agreement that one of the most essential elements for survival is the development of a greater sense of cooperation, of community, of ability to work together for the common good, not simply for personal aggrandizement.

-“A Way of Being”, p. 332

Common good. Two words…so much potential.

Vicki ❤

P.S. A little more? You might like this post from my personal blog, Victoria Ponders where I share my favorite inspiration from Rumi.

30 thoughts on “I’m a Fan Girl for Carl Rogers”

  1. The last quote was just right to end with, Vicki. I heard Rogers speak in a big and crowded hall at NU in the ’70s. As you suggest, some of his ideas have become so baked-in to treatment that his presence has faded.

    Perhaps it is best to think of Rogers as having won the special kind of immortality described by Borges; one in which he continues to live within the humanistic tradition whenever we use elements of his therapeutic approach. Whether we know his name or not in such moments, he lives in them.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

    1. Oh…what a moment that must’ve been to be in a space where Rogers spoke, no matter how large or crowded.
      I love your phrase “baked in” regarding his contributions. So perfectly descriptive of how his approach lives on. Cheers to you – and Borges! 🥰

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

    1. I love that, Beth. I think that might be the case for a lot of folks. In my mind, he was fairly unassuming but had impact…in so many fields – including education. Thanks much! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  4. So much goodness in one person. Unconditional positive regard, person-oriented, and common good. Wow! I love how you describe what Rogers did for therapy and learning and how you incorporate it in your approach to the world. It shows in your writing, speaking, and I suspect everything else you do. Beautiful, dear Vicki!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  5. Great stuff, Vicki! I also discovered Carl Rogers in college and was moved by his word, alongside Leo Buscalgia. The common good, indeed. Imagine if the world were to shift even just a fraction in that direction… everything would change. What a beautiful and inspiring post to start the day. 🥰

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you, Erin! I remember – and love – the connection we have in admiration of Leo Buscaglia. So good. And you’re right. Momentum and shifting…focused determination that CAN move mountains and create change for the better. Cheers to that. xo! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. Thanks for mentioning Leo Buscalgia Erin. I thought of him too as I read your piece Vicki. The thing that sticks out is the optimism, joy, and grace that Buscalgia and Rogers both seem to offer humanity. I absolutely love Roger’s quote: “So I accept confusion and uncertainty and fear and emotional highs and lows because they are the price I willingly pay for a flowing, perplexing, exciting life.” I so wish I had that quote growing up too.

        Liked by 2 people

  7. Your post has made me want to read Roger’s work for sure! I know of him briefly as we introduce our students to the Rogerian argument structure in composition. I really like the last quote you shared: finding common ground is so important in all aspects of life. If only we could do more of it presently!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks for that, Belle. Yes!! That “common ground” concept is present in composition/argument structure, ideology and mediation. Love that you have that connection to Rogers. Big hugs to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. Talk about an inspiring post! From accepting uncertainty to celebrating humor to developing cooperation. I’m glad you’re blasting these messages from the rooftops, so to speak, in a WordPress kind of way. Thank you for that.

    I had never heard of Carl Rogers. Your post comes in brilliant timing. One of my daughters has just declared her major as psychology — just before the deadline of her second year of college. I’m going to check if she’s read Carl Rogers yet. And if she hasn’t, I’ll buy her “A Way of Being” based on your fan girl-ness 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Ohhh…can you hear me saying “ahhh” out loud? I’m excited for your daughter. Psychology majors are doing well in so many sectors of the work world these days because of their knowledge about people and potential in every type of organization. Give her my best…and tell her that Humanism will be worth her time – even if she falls in love with other theories and theorists. Good to have plenty of options in the helping tool kit. And thank you, Dave, for your enthusiasm about the post. Really appreciate you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  9. Thank you, I needed to read this quote today – “I realize that if I were stable and steady and static, I would be living death. So, I accept confusion and uncertainty and fear and emotional highs and lows because they are the price I willingly pay for a flowing, perplexing, exciting life.” Right on!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  10. Carl Rogers and your post bring back wonderful memories of my learning extending from nursing onwards to counselling in the late 80’s/early 90’s. We started with Rogers and even going forward he remained with us. The sound foundation of any counselling therapy in my opinion.
    Your last quote is so apt during current times Victoria. I still have my books by the way, ‘A Way of Being’ and ‘On Becoming A Person’ 👌😊

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Margaret! We are kindred spirits, aren’t we? Thank you so much. You are quite right about the time period when Rogers’ work was new and novel…but I’m with you! Enduring…especially now. Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Thanks for the introduction to Carl Rogers. I’ve never heard of him nor his work and that quote you shared is wonderful. Life is all about ups and downs and how freeing it is to have the validation and freedom to embrace it all, because the alternative is static death.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Ab. I like to think of Rogers as an ‘unsung hero’. Isn’t it true that the most admirable among us – the best heroes – are never looking for the limelight for themselves – just for the greater good? Grateful for your comment! 🥰🥰🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thanks so much for that, Frank. I appreciate you for reading and for your comment! I hear you — I think I was lucky to be introduced to Rogers and humanism at a time when it made a huge difference in my life. And years later, it still does! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Pingback: A Story-telling Mission – The Heart of the Matter
  14. Pingback: AI Isn’t Going to Bleed on the Paper – The Heart of the Matter

Leave a reply to Margaret Cancel reply