After Time, Only Love Remains

Posted on by Libby Saylor

I was driving in my car today and caught myself thinking fondly of my ex. We’ve been broken up for one year and seven months now. And in that moment, I realized that I have only ever truly loved two men. Both of these men were long-term partners and in both relationships we lived together for a time. When you live with someone and share your life with a person for several years, you see everything about each other, no matter how well you try to hide things. And as I was thinking about my ex today, I was just remembering all of the good, all of the things I truly loved about him. In that moment, I also realized that all of the negative thoughts I’ve carried since the breakup, all of the things that were said and not said during our parting, just faded into the distance. And now, only love remains.

Then, of course, a song came on. After our breakup, I allowed myself to keep one song that reminded me of him. And moments after my loving thoughts began swirling, driving on a road that alway makes me think of him, the song popped up on my shuffle. I listened and let myself cry, let myself feel, and just let myself love him, even though it hurt.

BØRNS – Past Lives

Time Heals

After our break, for months and months I tried to make sense of all the mess. My heart and my head just couldn’t accept the truth and the reality of things. Sometimes, I still can’t believe he’s gone. And most times, I thought I would never, ever, really get over losing him. Yet today, I realized that after a certain point, it just doesn’t matter what happened. I’ve been over the words, and facts, and thoughts, and memories so many times in my head. I made mistakes and so did he, and we both apologized for our wrongdoings, more than a few times. But even so, nothing will change the fact that it’s over. So, I suppose at a certain point, after enough spinning happens and continues to get us nowhere, acceptance kicks in. And once acceptance arrives, there’s no point in feeling anything but love.

After a break, I think it’s normal to question the whole thing. Was I insane when I chose him? Was he insane for choosing me? But after so much distance from the break, I realize that neither of us were insane. Both of us chose each other for beautiful reasons. I’ve dated so many men in my lifetime, but only a few of them stuck around. There’s a reason why he stuck around, and a reason why I let him. Because we had lots of goodness, lots of care, and lots of love. It just didn’t work out.

pink and black clouds and sky

Photo by Ruan Carlos on Unsplash

I’m thankful for my moment of zen today, and I also know it might not stick. I may revisit moments of anger and confusion about my ex. And I might not always feel the soft and peaceful love that stays with me now in this moment. But I think even if this love is interrupted by more anger and sadness, my heart still always comes back to love. The heart only wants peace, and tries to do everything it possibly can to get us there. Today, my heart gave me some soft thoughts and the universe gave me a beautiful musical accompaniment.

I dedicate this post to M. even though he probably won’t ever see it. xo

Thank you for reading!

How long does it take you to heal from loss? Do you find that after a time, only love remains? Are you going through a healing process now, and how are you coping? I’d love to hear from you!

25 thoughts on “After Time, Only Love Remains”

  1. So, I suppose at a certain point, after enough spinning happens and continues to get us nowhere, acceptance kicks in.

    That does seem to be the truth of it. You may not be happy about what happened, but eventually you accept it, perhaps maybe even gratefully for the lessons it taught you? 🤷‍♀️

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  3. I commend you Libby, for allowing the love to come through. I think in relationships we have to honestly acknowledge mistakes on both sides and in time come to some level of acceptance. I don’t know personally if that would transfer over to some degree of love as I define it, but perhaps at least an allowance to remember some of the better moments in the relationship.

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  4. I love this post, Libby! It speaks to me of the difference of the head and the heart. When our heart breaks, our head tries to make sense of it, but sooner or later, if we are wise and able, we return to the heart. Thank you for reminding me of that beautiful place to live from!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  5. You offer hope to those who are bereft. I’m sure reading your post will advance the healing process for an unknowable number. You did good today.

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  6. I think Mary makes a great point – the head tries to make sense of the passion, the unraveling, and the pain, but it’s not until we simply allow ourselves to feel the emotions that we can reach that place of acceptance and calm. Beautiful piece, Libby. Wishing you continued peace, calm, and lingering feelings of love. 💕

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  9. Acceptance does kick in, even if nothing remains of the love. I still care for every ex and wish them well but I wouldn’t say that I’m completely to the level of acceptance that you describe. In one instance, there was no closure which hampered my healing and damaged my confidence and self-esteem. Great post and wise words!

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  10. Break ups are so hard and as you do wisely noted, after a point, you stop needing to make sense of if and acceptance kicks in.

    It’s nice you allowed yourself the moment to listen to that song.

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